For everyone who grew up with a mother who played the role of the "good woman", the one who constantly told you to "be a good boy," "respect others," who praised you for being calm and obedient, while at the same time, insulting your father, calling him an "0sshole," a "pig," and so on... yet never actually left him and continued getting wet and having sex with him. You know the story.
So, for the men who grew up in that kind of environment, who were so programmed to seek in women, a relationship based on respect, obedience, honesty, and vulnerability, and who were essentially conditioned to believe that this was what a healthy relationship should look like, the question is: you've been through this, what should you actually be looking for in a relationship with a woman instead?
For example, I know many guys who get called "0ssholes," just like my father was, yet they have no trouble attracting and sleeping with lots of women. I don't know what kind of relationship they had with their mothers or what kind of dynamic they look for in a partner. I know few of their stories, and, as children, they were the "wild" kids, the disobedient ones who got into trouble, who didn't respect other people's boundaries, and instead expected everyone else to adjust their boundaries to accommodate them because they were difficult.
As a child, I saw them behave in ways that were the opposite of everything my mother told me was right or wrong.
They had no manners at all, and they always caused trouble or ended up in fights.
Anyway, that's just an example.
But just to put in evidence, that when my mother spoke to me, I really believed her words. I took them as truthful and listened. I didn't wonder if he was doing it and why. In fact, I also expect this from women now that I'm an adult, I simply listen to their words and take them as true. I'm sincere. I believe in their authenticity.
So the question is this: if you grew up educated by a mother like mine, would you say that your entire perspective on relationships needs to change? Or is your perspective fundamentally fine, and you simply need to find the right woman?
So, for the men who grew up in that kind of environment, who were so programmed to seek in women, a relationship based on respect, obedience, honesty, and vulnerability, and who were essentially conditioned to believe that this was what a healthy relationship should look like, the question is: you've been through this, what should you actually be looking for in a relationship with a woman instead?
For example, I know many guys who get called "0ssholes," just like my father was, yet they have no trouble attracting and sleeping with lots of women. I don't know what kind of relationship they had with their mothers or what kind of dynamic they look for in a partner. I know few of their stories, and, as children, they were the "wild" kids, the disobedient ones who got into trouble, who didn't respect other people's boundaries, and instead expected everyone else to adjust their boundaries to accommodate them because they were difficult.
As a child, I saw them behave in ways that were the opposite of everything my mother told me was right or wrong.
They had no manners at all, and they always caused trouble or ended up in fights.
Anyway, that's just an example.
But just to put in evidence, that when my mother spoke to me, I really believed her words. I took them as truthful and listened. I didn't wonder if he was doing it and why. In fact, I also expect this from women now that I'm an adult, I simply listen to their words and take them as true. I'm sincere. I believe in their authenticity.
So the question is this: if you grew up educated by a mother like mine, would you say that your entire perspective on relationships needs to change? Or is your perspective fundamentally fine, and you simply need to find the right woman?
