I can say as I've gotten older, a few things have happened:
1- My desire to go on dates dropped substantially. As you get older, finding women organically becomes increasingly difficult. So you use OLD and maybe a matchmaking service. The chatting, conversing, planning, getting ready, traveling, actually date, following-up, all this stuff becomes exponentially laborious as the ROI for the time you put in is miniscule. You come to a realization, not from some podcast or IG guru, but from your own experiences that dating, and frankly women in general, are not worth the effort.
2- You realize your time is your number one priority. Wasting time as you get older is the biggest mistake a man can make. Dating is a HUGE time suck with almost no return. You find that you get more enjoyment from meeting with friends, working out, being outdoors, hobbies, interests, career, making money, or spending time with your dog (RIP Bella).
3- You get to REALLY enjoy peace, solitude, and the elimination of all the relationship and marriage hangups. Arguments, negotiations, misunderstandings, conflicts, your partner’s friends and in-laws -- all this stuff is gone. You take in a deep breath and ask yourself WHY would I willingly invite all that back into my life? It makes no sense to do so, so you don't.
4- You find great pleasure in your career (I own a successful business), making money, investing, buying things you’ve always wanted, taking care of your body, eating well, and even watching whatever you want on television. You start to wonder why you ever put up with all the BS from #3 for so long and ask yourself what you really got out of it.
5- You have VERY low tolerance for flaky bad behavior on the dates you do go on. It becomes really easy to walk away at the first sign of disrespect, flakiness, or too much masculine energy. And it happens -- a lot -- in dating as you get older. Women become very set in their ways, have ridiculous expectations of their dating partners, and many exude huge masculine energy. Most have kids, some adult kids (25+) are even still at home. Because you’re a mature man, most women expect grandiose treatment and amenities. Again, you ask yourself what you're really getting out of all this effort. For me, almost nothing.
6- Sex is desirable but FAR LESS important. In your 20s and 30s you enjoy the game of seducing women, increasing your notch count, and all the gamesmanship and gambits that comes with it. However, all the input to land a girl, who’s probably very temporary anyway, becomes less and less important. You realize how much time, effort, money, and mental energy goes into it all and have a hard time squaring this with what you get in return. I can still attract women less than half my age and I do exercise that advantage once in a while, but it's only for short term pleasure, then I'm done. Kind of like a little treat once in a while.
The exception to all this is the insecure mature man who cannot stand the thought of being alone. And there are many, MANY men like this. They will sacrifice time, effort, money, resources, etc., just to find someone who “likes them.” It's sad and I see it all the time. Thank god I'm not one of them.
Ciao,
Dash
