Do you ever fully move on from the first girl you loved?

[viking22]

As the song goes you should look forwards and seek a "Sunday kind of love"
i.e. something deep, comforting and enduring built on genuine connection and trust that feels like home.

Young love is intoxicating and understandable that you're feeling nostalgic but it is a rite of passage and you should feel grateful you got to experience it and be able to move on.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

As the song goes you should look forwards and seek a "Sunday kind of love"
i.e. something deep, comforting and enduring built on genuine connection and trust that feels like home.

Young love is intoxicating and understandable that you're feeling nostalgic but it is a rite of passage and you should feel grateful you got to experience it and be able to move on.

its not nostalgia its real. but yes i specifically mentioned this, in fact so grateful for this experience that i could die and feel like i already lived a meaningful life

 

[Redwood]

I don't think so imo, at least in my situation when I found out she passed away

 

[BaronOfHair]

Young love is intoxicating and understandable that you're feeling nostalgic but it is a rite of passage and you should feel grateful you got to experience it and be able to move on.

And this ain't love... It's someone who's brain hasn't developed enough to gain much control over their emotions

 

[Pumax]

Do you really think it's just love?
I see the bigger picture.

These are experiences you've had that you've rarely looked back on.
Fantastic experiences. You had them with her. They've stayed with you.
It's not that you love her more than others.

 

[BaronOfHair]

These are experiences you've had that you've rarely looked back on.
Fantastic experiences. You had them with her. They've stayed with you.
It's not that you love her more than others.

One's MEMORIES of early life, first loves included, are frequently more rosy than the truth. Glossing over the fact that this chick we now label "a love" was really an RL Janis Ian we used to huff glue with, behind the dumpster at Tasty Freeze, is the dating and mating equivalent of fellas serving life sentences at Folsom asserting:

"Life was happein', when I's 16"

Despite the fact that they were, even back then, unlettered street corner trash who's ambition didn't extend much further beyond robbing the 7/11 for whatever pennies were in the register

 

[Dash Riprock]

There is no such thing as unconditional love unless it is the love parent gives a child. And even in that case it is Unidirectional.

Not to derail OP's post, but parents screw over their kids more than people know. I had one parent drain my bank accounts when I was a minor and another lose my inheritance money after they filed for bankruptcy. Years later, when I became an adult, they would perpetually come to me for money and assistance. There are many, many other tangible examples. Finally, after many years, I cut them off 100%.

The whole "blood is thicker than water" thing is a bunch of BS, to me anyway.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

Do you really think it's just love?
I see the bigger picture.

These are experiences you've had that you've rarely looked back on.
Fantastic experiences. You had them with her. They've stayed with you.
It's not tich hat you love her more than others.

i've never thought about it as "more" love, or love exclusively. it's something a bit more abstract, especially given how the events surrounding that whole phase of my life were all rich with significance, even when she wasn't in the picture. so while the love/limerence does fit into it, it's more like the whole context of that stage of my life was meaningful. speaking objectively, my teen years were a never ending descent into the depths of hell, so maybe the contrast of having these novel and rich experiences is what gave them so much weight. i truly believe that i wasn't even a conscious being until i met this chick and i literally feel as if it more or less ignited my existence.

all that said, i don't really think she was anything special. i still remember her cute female roomate blantantly hit on me at one point near the end of this, and i had no qualms about potentially pursuing something with her. and i probably would have things had lasted longer.

i've met women who i have just as much as common with but it didn't feel the same. it baffles me when i meet a girl who ticks all the boxes that i simply don't feel anything towards. some women just tap into something more than others and it's not always clear why. she wasn't even my first GF or lay anyway she was just the first one i felt anything towards.

 

[corrector]

Do you remember her birthday? I remembered her down to the taste of her tits in my mouth. (ie light berry flavour). This was my first love back i 2012. But the memory is faded out quite a bit after 14 years.

 

[Bible_Belt]

It's a shame you deleted her on social media, because you couldn't watch her get fat. I'm still in love with every girl I ever loved, as long as I could get a time machine and go back to who they were when I knew them. Otherwise, that person no longer exists.

 

[Thebestthereeveris]

I was a late bloomer. Invisible to most women in high school. Had a couple GFs in high school, but they were sexless, dumb relationships. Also had a brief thing with my high school crush when she asked me out after high school, but that didn't pan out either and I got over it pretty easily.

However, a few years after high school, I started my first serious relationship, which was only the 2nd girl I ever had sex with (she was 19, I was 22). She had just gotten out of a very long term relationship and in hindsight, I was probably just a rebound who she wanted to use to fvck the pain away (which isn't a bad thing by any means).

Within the first week of meeting her, I was staying over at her place multiple nights a week, raw dogging and busting inside every time (she was on BC). We would smoke a J (which I had never done before meeting her), fvck, play video games, rinse repeat, then go to parties and get shvtfaced almost every weekend. We also travelled a lot with extremely memorable trips. She introduced me to a lot of things that I still enjoy to this day. We had a lot of similar interests, sense of humor, and shared a lot of my odd quirks and takes on life.

Even after we broke up, the next several months or so continued to be the greatest and most transformative period of my life, and while I don't think it was all from her, I do think I was riding off the tailwinds of the relationship high. Thing is, after the breakup, I completely ghosted her and blocked her on everything, threw out all her shvt at my place, including gifts she gave me. Never talked to her again.

Here I am, 10 years later and I still think about it. Not just her, but that whole period of my life, how transformative and meaningful it was. I know all the tropes, I'm not pedestalizing her or anything about the relationship, nor do I miss the "idea" of her. I know better. But I also know my imagination isn't betraying me, not only because I have great episodic memory, but because I am largely immune and disgusted by nostalgia and sentimentality in general. I have been hoping to experience a fraction that feeling again only to always fall short and part of me thinks that's impossible.

Did anyone else experience anything like this?

are you gay? how are you still thinking about her.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

Do you remember her birthday? I remembered her down to the taste of her tits in my mouth. (ie light berry flavour). This was my first love back i 2012. But the memory is faded out quite a bit after 14 years.

Nah but i'm horrible at remembering anyones birthday, even family/friends, so that's probably a bad example.

It's a shame you deleted her on social media, because you couldn't watch her get fat. I'm still in love with every girl I ever loved, as long as I could get a time machine and go back to who they were when I knew them. Otherwise, that person no longer exists.

I actually did look her up a few years ago...she aged extremely well (or just got better at taking pics). She looked the same weight and was just as attractive if not more.

are you gay? how are you still thinking about her.

Already went over this bro can you read?

Do you not still have a certain fondness for the first girl in your life who tapped into something primal?

Not to derail OP's post, but parents screw over their kids more than people know. I had one parent drain my bank accounts when I was a minor and another lose my inheritance money after they filed for bankruptcy. Years later, when I became an adult, they would perpetually come to me for money and assistance. There are many, many other tangible examples. Finally, after many years, I cut them off 100%.

The whole "blood is thicker than water" thing is a bunch of BS, to me anyway.

Agreed. Unconditional love really is BS. I remember a joke from a comedian about it; would a Mom still love her son if he cut off her tit and put it down the garbage disposal?

I don't love (nor have I ever loved) any of my family except my Mom, and maybe a couple of my Uncles when I was younger.

 

[BPH]

Since this thread is still going, I'll weigh in on the OP.

Absolutely.

My first girlfriend and first love was a year or two below me, who transferred schools after I graduated, when we started our long-distance relationship. She ended up cheating on me with a guy she told me not to worry about, recanted that statement, and lied, telling me she had been ra**d while gaslighting me into feeling guilty for not being there to do anything about it.

She ended up blocking me on everything, telling me she no longer wanted to be with me, and I spent the next 3 months feeling depressed and guilty, thinking about what I could've done differently.

3 months, because before the 4th month following our breakup, a girlfriend of mine who also followed her and was NOT blocked told me she was posting pictures with the guy she cheated on me with. Apparently, they'd started dating after that.

She texted me at around 3:30 AM on one particular night in March, coming clean about the incident, probably expecting me to be asleep at that hour. Instead, I was awake and proceeded to curse her out over text, telling her I already knew everything, before blocking her.

I've not spoken to, seen, or thought about her since.

 

[CornbreadFed]

I think about past girls, but not to this extent. None of them are worth ruining my current life over. I don’t know how old you are, but it seems like you are in a mid life crisis depression right now, not in love.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

I think about past girls, but not to this extent. None of them are worth ruining my current life over. I don’t know how old you are, but it seems like you are in a mid life crisis depression right now, not in love.

the more happy and fulfilled i am in life, the more inclined i am to think about this. in fact at my lowest i don't think about this any of this, so I don't think your theory holds any weight, if anything sounds like you're projecting. no idea where you got the notion this is "ruining" my life.