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Do you ever fully move on from the first girl you loved?

FlexpertHamilton

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I was a late bloomer. Invisible to most women in high school. Had a couple GFs in high school, but they were sexless, dumb relationships. Also had a brief thing with my high school crush when she asked me out after high school, but that didn't pan out either and I got over it pretty easily.

However, a few years after high school, I started my first serious relationship, which was only the 2nd girl I ever had sex with (she was 19, I was 22). She had just gotten out of a very long term relationship and in hindsight, I was probably just a rebound who she wanted to use to fvck the pain away (which isn't a bad thing by any means).

Within the first week of meeting her, I was staying over at her place multiple nights a week, raw dogging and busting inside every time (she was on BC). We would smoke a J (which I had never done before meeting her), fvck, play video games, rinse repeat, then go to parties and get shvtfaced almost every weekend. We also travelled a lot with extremely memorable trips. She introduced me to a lot of things that I still enjoy to this day. We had a lot of similar interests, sense of humor, and shared a lot of my odd quirks and takes on life.

Even after we broke up, the next several months or so continued to be the greatest and most transformative period of my life, and while I don't think it was all from her, I do think I was riding off the tailwinds of the relationship high. Thing is, after the breakup, I completely ghosted her and blocked her on everything, threw out all her shvt at my place, including gifts she gave me. Never talked to her again.

Here I am, 10 years later and I still think about it. Not just her, but that whole period of my life, how transformative and meaningful it was. I know all the tropes, I'm not pedestalizing her or anything about the relationship, nor do I miss the "idea" of her. I know better. But I also know my imagination isn't betraying me, not only because I have great episodic memory, but because I am largely immune and disgusted by nostalgia and sentimentality in general. I have been hoping to experience a fraction that feeling again only to always fall short and part of me thinks that's impossible.

Did anyone else experience anything like this?
 
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Mertz09

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Yes I have. But before I go there I have a few questions. You said "She had just gotten out of a very long term relationship" and she was only 19. Just wondering how long it was since she was only 19. ???
Secondly, "after the breakup, I completely ghosted her and blocked her on everything" The reason I ask is on your profile you say you are 69. I am an older guy and I can say that we never ghosted anyone or anything back then because there was no internet and no social media of course. We did not know what "ghosting" was.
So something doesn't add up. ????
 

FlexpertHamilton

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Yes I have. But before I go there I have a few questions. You said "She had just gotten out of a very long term relationship" and she was only 19. Just wondering how long it was since she was only 19. ???
Secondly, "after the breakup, I completely ghosted her and blocked her on everything" The reason I ask is on your profile you say you are 69. I am an older guy and I can say that we never ghosted anyone or anything back then because there was no internet and no social media of course. We did not know what "ghosting" was.
So something doesn't add up. ????
I think it was a high school sweeetheart sort of thing.

I am not 69.


I never loved a woman (outside of family), I loved the moments.

I don’t think people understand the true meaning of love. They (especially women) think they love a man, but in reality they love the thought of “love”. It’s all a movie.

I’ve had some very cool moments that I loved. I thought it was the women I was loving, but it was the moments.
Men love romantically and unconditionally, women love opportunistically and conditionally.
 

Masculinity

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I was probably just a rebound who she wanted to use to fvck the pain away.

Within the first week of meeting her, I was staying over at her place multiple nights a week, raw dogging and busting inside every time
(she was on BC). We would smoke a J (which I had never done before meeting her), fvck, play video games, rinse repeat, then go to parties and get shvtfaced almost every weekend.
She does not sound like a quality girl to me.

But to answer your question, yes, I continued with my life after my first girl. Do not get caught up in The Trap of Living in the Past.
 

Pierce Manhammer

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There is no such thing as unconditional love unless it is the love parent gives a child. And even in that case it is Unidirectional.
 

manfrombelow

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I'm a late boomer too, and let me tell you: There was this one woman that crushed me mentally and drove me to the edge of insanity the day she broke up with me, which contributed greatly to me finding this website and forced myself to learrn & unlearn everything about life and relationships and women in general.

I actually thought I loved her so much, but now? I don't even remember her fvcking birthday, and I have no feelings whatsoever thinking about her image now.

So yeah, as cliché and corny as it sounds, but time does heal everything, and I mean everything.
 

FlexpertHamilton

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She does not sound like a quality girl to me.

But to answer your question, yes, I continued with my life after my first girl. Do not get caught up in The Trap of Living in the Past.
Oh, she wasn't, but it doesn't mean I didn't enjoy my time with her. I actually abhor nostalgia and fixation on the past in any way shape or form, but, that entire period of my life holds great significance regardless.

There is no such thing as unconditional love unless it is the love parent gives a child. And even in that case it is Unidirectional.
Well, I agree, I don't believe in it either, but men do tend to love women unconditionally (not saying they should).
 

Dr.Suave

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Do you ever fully move on from the first girl you loved?

Yes, when/if you find someone better for you
 

Millard Fillmore

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Men love romantically and unconditionally, women love opportunistically and conditionally.
All people love opportunistically and conditionally. Each gender just likes to flatter itself.
 
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