Impossible situation with my ex

[Askaladd]

Many of you might remember when I broke up with my ex. Post break up she lost her mind and blew up my phone. I felt really bad for her and decided to keep talking to her. Now if I break up with her she will doxx my d pics to family, tell them everything that I have done and kill herself, in her own words. I still talk to her everyday and it is incredibly toxic. I wish I could be alone.

How can I make her stop talking to me in a way where she will continue life happily? I am her only friend, she is extremely clingy and has had a very traumatic life thus far.

Now I am not saying everything is her fault. I have made so many mistakes when interacting with her. I think that if I stop being a loser in life maybe she will respect me and stop giving me **** for everything?

 

[CornbreadFed]

Sounds like you still have feelings for her and need an excuse to do something stupid. Welp, you ain't going to get it from me lol.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

There is only one thing to do and that's walk away.

You are in the collateral damage zone no matter what at this point, now you just have to decide how big the blast radius will be.

If she sends you that again in writing I would take it to the police, that's blackmail and is taken very seriously.

 

[Askaladd]

Sounds like you still have feelings for her and need an excuse to do something stupid. Welp, you ain't going to get it from me lol.

She will doxx everything about me online and then off herself. I need ideas of how to make her not do that

 

[Doctor Europeo]

She will doxx everything about me online and then off herself. I need ideas of how to make her not do that

After all this time, this doesnt sound so bad and she´s probably bluffing on the offing herself. You will finally be free. Go to the police

 

[BPH]

She will doxx everything about me online and then off herself. I need ideas of how to make her not do that

Go to the police, as @Doctor Europeo said. Explain the situation and if she acts it will be treated as blackmail, and she will be placed on suicide watch.

In the future, when we tell you to forget about your ex, actually listen. The only reason she's holding you hostage like this is because you're actually responding to her. You are not the first man who's had their woman threaten to kill themselves if you leave them. Faking a pregnancy is also a really popular one.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

She will doxx everything about me online and then off herself. I need ideas of how to make her not do that

You can't. Stop thinking you can control what other people do.

 

[Gamisch]

Important lesson / gem hidden within this thread!!

THIS is what happens when you DON'T grab that window of opportunity to walk away from a toxic woman! This kind of predicament will be the end result. And trouble like this can present itself in many ways; financially, physically, your rep ect.

Iirc ,OP did had multiple opportunities to end it and let her down slowly. But , my geuss is that OP himself took the initiative here and there and now...now you stuck. She got you checkmate. Id like to know the entire story because I know from personal experience how this works.

Even the police can't help you unless you got clear evidence. Even in that case, its not like they will be eager to solve bs cases like this. I do have to say that a police officer telling her she will be punishable by law might scare her enough to withdraw temporarily.

The lesson is to RESPECT a woman's grief. The moment you respond to her or even worse; take the initiative to start a conversation YOU reset the relationship and she'll come back acting even worse.

At this point I'd consider changing my number and pray she'll get over it without doing any damage..

 

[RoadKing_Rabbit]

She will doxx everything about me online and then off herself. I need ideas of how to make her not do that

That's what she SAID she would do. And even if she does, so what? Everyone will see evidence of what you've got. Your masculinity is reaffirmed. Win/win. You got a woman SO obsessed with you that she'd do something like that. Not every guy can do that. Win/win. Move on to better.

Stop believing everything everyone says. Including this. Matter of fact, why don't you call her right now and grovel then do the hokey pokey. Sarcasm aside, I'd do the next part of the song. Since you've "done the hokey pokey" now you TURN YOURSELF AROUND! That's what it's all about!

 

[zekko]

That's what she SAID she would do. And even if she does, so what? Everyone will see evidence of what you've got. Your masculinity is reaffirmed. Win/win. You got a woman SO obsessed with you that she'd do something like that. Not every guy can do that. Win/win. Move on to better.

It's pretty insensitive, but that would be a heckuva line. "My last ex was so obsessed over me she killed herself". That would create an air of mystery for sure - they'd want to know what's so great about you to drive her to that? Or more likely, they would see that the flaw resides in the woman.

There are statistics where women try suicide more often than men - but men actually accomplish it more. That might suggest they are actually trying to make a cry for help. Or perhaps they just naturally seek less lethal means. Has the OP suggested she seek some sort of therapy?

 

[Plinco]

OP

Like others have said, right now the best thing to do it walk away. Going to the police right now is probably not going to do anything because of the lack of evidence. If she does what she says she's going to do, that will only look bad on her and plus you'll have evidence against her that you can use.

Don't ever let people do this to you. You've allowed her to be an authority figure over you and that's unbecoming of a man.

 

[RoadKing_Rabbit]

It's pretty insensitive, but that would be a heckuva line. "My last ex was so obsessed over me she killed herself". That would create an air of mystery for sure - they'd want to know what's so great about you to drive her to that? Or more likely, they would see that the flaw resides in the woman.

There are statistics where women try suicide more often than men - but men actually accomplish it more. That might suggest they are actually trying to make a cry for help. Or perhaps they just naturally seek less lethal means. Has the OP suggested she seek some sort of therapy?

Believe it or not, I used to be OVERLY sensitive. It has done me more harm I'm certain during the time I was than I could ever accomplish dealing the same harm with my very stunted capability to not 'give a damn.' I really should care a LOT less than I do in most cases. Some people consider it a strength. I'm not sure I agree. Kindness and compassion can really be a motherclucker.

I was referring more to the doxing with that quip. I don't wish others to commit to extreme irreversible self harm. And I'm not suggesting "Fine go ahead!" Now even if she were to do that, it still isn't his fault.

I can understand to a point. But even one of those threats (only one directly effects him) is enough to suggest that anything involving this lady is not a good idea. OP, if you still care about her, by all means let someone know what she's said for extra CYA. But if she does either, that's hardly your fault. It takes two to tango. She made a choice as much as you. Now you're done and nothing you do will get her past it. She has to do that on her own.

Bottom line is anyone can make mistakes and if you made one here it's possibly a lapse in vetting judgement or you putting all your eggs in one basket. Ergo oneitis. Regardless of what she does NOW it is out of your hands.

 

[Desdinova]

I am her only friend, she is extremely clingy and has had a very traumatic life thus far.

Cut the rope and move on.

You are NOT responsible for any actions or reactions she has to you leaving. You are not tied to her in any way, shape or form. If she has no friends, that's her problem. She needs to remedy that herself.

 

[Zontyy]

So let me give you some advice dealing with the crazy. It's best to just block her, if your unwilling to do that. Turn off your read receipts and go no contact. This girl threatening to dox your **** pictures to your family is irrelevant either she will do it or is all talk, her trying to bad mouth you and killing herself is irrelevant "no one believes the mentally unstable".

If she does share your **** pictures that in most states (assuming your living in the US is a misdemeanor followed by felony if she continue). This would be an instant protection order for at least 12-24 months. She even contacts you once during that time frame just print off the text messages with something that can be used in court (I can recommend you the app to use to export that information that can be used in court), just go down to the police and they will arrest her for breaking an order of protection, she will end up in jail. If it continues she will keep getting longer jail sentences. If she did Dox your **** pictures to friends depending on what your working with this might be a good thing. (After my breakup and her doxing, some of her friends actually approached me for dates after the breakup saying that I was too good for her, one of her nurse friends commented she was surprised with what I was packing lol)

If she does try to kill her self while that is sad and tragic you need to protect yourself at this point. Don't worry about her trying to ruin your reputation her own friends and most people who have dealings with her will recognize she was crazy.

The only thing you really need to worry about is if she tries to kill you or damage your property because she sounds unstable you probably will never get restitution for whatever she damages. You can't garnish wages if she can't hold a job. She might slash your tires, break into you home when your not home and try to dose your medication (she undid the tablets to my amoxicillin and put heart medication to try and stop my heart but got the dosage wrong) , run up on you in public and tase you, break into your home and spray paint your walls with hateful messages and smiley faces, these are all things that happened me dealing with crazy. Just watch your back when you finally do decide to breakup.

 

[BaronOfHair]

@Askaladd "How can I make her stop talking to me in a way where she will continue life happily?"

It's on her to "continue life happily"

 

[viking22]

You've already rewarded her bad behaviour by effectively getting back together with her. So of course if you try to break it off again she will make a bunch of scary threats.

End of the day she is a girl. Her main weapons are words. She also probably isn't being too smart about using them so is probably leaving a trail that you can easily point to if she makes some false accusations to the authorities about you. You can change your locks to protect your property. You aren't in any physical danger. If she causes some **** with your workplace or your family then it may be deeply embarassing but they are unlikely to take seriously the ravings of a lunatic and again you probably will have a trail you can produce if necessary.

It isn't your responsibility to get her through the breakup and the best thing you can do is to withdraw your attention even if short term that will make her crazier.

 

[sevbucmash]

she will doxx my d pics to family, tell them everything that I have done and kill herself

Race does matter after all when it comes to dating.

I can't imagine a white girl doing something like this over a Scandinavian man, so you must have been dating an arab girl, or an indian girl there, or a black girl from Africa. Now here is the real problem, for them your physique is top of the line, a model-like. So although she probably won't kill herself over you, she might do some bad stuff to hurt you.

I say you need to get her phone password and go through her phone before you leave her, and don't forget to go to Find My and add yourself to be able to view her location, lol.