Why do women complain so much?

[Askaladd]

When I was with my gf she would complain all the time about something I did. It felt like she was trying to make me "fix" things so I could be the version she wanted me to be. But in general, why the complaining?

 

[OngBak]

When I was with my gf she would complain all the time about something I did. It felt like she was trying to make me "fix" things so I could be the version she wanted me to be. But in general, why the complaining?

Depends on what you did, elaborate..

 

[Clockwerk50]

Feelings are a drug to women. They crave emotion; anything other than boredom. Happy, sad, in love, lust, angry, disgusted, these feelings are more powerful than any narcotic to most women. Accept this, and you’ll better understand how they function.

As a guy, you’re inherently logical. You accept that problems are part of life, so you hold frame and try to fix them. Most women (and emotional men) aren’t like this; they’re driven by feelings. When they talk about problems, they’re not asking for solutions but they’re asking you to address how they feel.

That’s why the more you try to give a logical solution, the worse the reaction gets. This is why you don’t fix her problems, you fix her feels. You can do that by:

1. Say nothing and just listen.
2. Give her a hug
3. Use humor/sarcasm
4. Change the energy by playing music, joking around, being playful. Break the negative spiral.

Disclaimer: Not trying to make a blanket generalization here, but as a rule of thumb, this is how it often plays out.

 

[viking22]

Nagging is a tell tale sign of low interest level. It’s basically her rationalising her lack of interest and building a case in her mind to dump you without feeling bad about it. She can tell herself and her friends that she tried to change you but you couldn’t be fixed

 

[BaronOfHair]

Same reason everyone else does these days:

Airing out one's "traumas"(real or perceived) in public, then taking the piss out of society for never having empathized with you enough, has become a fad

 

[Hal9000]

Women who feel lucky to have you will rarely complain about anything having to do with your behavior. They'll certainly complain about other areas of their life but not you.

 

[Bible_Belt]

I saw a giant fat woman at Walmart wearing a t-shirt that said, "I have the pvssy, I make the rules."

 

[BackInTheGame78]

When I was with my gf she would complain all the time about something I did. It felt like she was trying to make me "fix" things so I could be the version she wanted me to be. But in general, why the complaining?

Because she didn't respect you.

 

[Lauel]

Break the negative spiral.

Do learn to break this. A woman will drown herself in series of negative emotions, if she isn't stopped. If she loves you, then only you can stop this.

 

[Clockwerk50]

Do learn to break this. A woman will drown herself in series of negative emotions, if she isn't stopped. If she loves you, then only you can stop this.

Not necessarily. In an LTR, you do have to listen sometimes, but you also need boundaries—you need to put limits on this stuff. You can’t be the outlet for constant complaints. Some of that should go to her friends or family, unless it’s something you can actually solve.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Same reason everyone else does these days:

Airing out one's "traumas"(real or perceived) in public, then taking the piss out of society for never having empathized with you enough, has become a fad

We need to keep these slaves in line Baron.

 

[RoadKing_Rabbit]

I agree with the idea that it comes from a woman who doesn't see you as her best option. She's "tolerating" you FOR NOW. And she's going to nag and nag that you aren't who she wants you to be while still not being able to tell you what kind of man she wants you to be. It takes a while to learn this, but once you do, it is like turning the light switch on. You see/notice a LOT more that you never knew was even a thing.

Most women who are truly into you and want you see you almost as someone who can do no wrong whatsoever. It defies reasoning. What also defies reasoning is how fast this can flip on its head. I was with a lady who saw me as capable of b1tch slapping a chunk out of the moon and taking a bite and didn't need to stuff roses up my @$$ to make my flatulence fragrant. Ok, that's exaggeration. But all it took for her to have a problem with every little thing I did was to see me with another woman who was what I was actually after.

 

[BaronOfHair]

We need to keep these slaves in line Baron.

Life was more entertaining when they stocked the harems

 

[Scaramouche]

Life was more entertaining when they stocked the harems

Hi Baron,
Yes I agree,if she got troublesome you just wrapped her up in a carpet with a brick for company and chucked her out of the window into the Bosphorus.

 

[LTG71]

Feelings are a drug to women. They crave emotion; anything other than boredom. Happy, sad, in love, lust, angry, disgusted, these feelings are more powerful than any narcotic to most women. Accept this, and you’ll better understand how they function.

As a guy, you’re inherently logical. You accept that problems are part of life, so you hold frame and try to fix them. Most women (and emotional men) aren’t like this; they’re driven by feelings. When they talk about problems, they’re not asking for solutions but they’re asking you to address how they feel.

That’s why the more you try to give a logical solution, the worse the reaction gets. This is why you don’t fix her problems, you fix her feels. You can do that by:

1. Say nothing and just listen.
2. Give her a hug
3. Use humor/sarcasm
4. Change the energy by playing music, joking around, being playful. Break the negative spiral.

Disclaimer: Not trying to make a blanket generalization here, but as a rule of thumb, this is how it often plays out.

This and throw in her menstrual cycle. Some women you can barely tell and others become complete psychopaths. So if you put all these ”feels” and hormones into a bag, it’s inevitable that there will be some complaining in the mix.

 

[Glassguy]

When I was with my gf she would complain all the time about something I did. It felt like she was trying to make me "fix" things so I could be the version she wanted me to be. But in general, why the complaining?

Because she wasnt that into you or her interest level dropped.
Women dont criticize, constantly complain, shyte test, etc when they admire and respect their man.
Sure it may happen a little bit here and there with any woman. But when it happens frequently, the end is near.

 

[Fortune_favors_the_bold]

Generally speaking in my experience it depends on 2 factors.

1)Her current personality which is the result of her temperament and biology plus past experiences and baggage.

That explain why young, brand new girls not under chemicals nor under fear of missing out are generally more stable.

2)How attractive you are to her and how she evaluates her value compared to yours.

The same annoying nagging woman having a walk with her average mid status neightbour becomes way more bearable if the one giving her the lift is the good looking lawyer leaving in the upper floor even if all the settings are the same.

Her mood should be a very strong indicator to consider how reliable a relationship with that woman could be, not only in terms of dating but also business.