pyros
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Dec 31, 2011
- Messages
- 1,699
- Reaction score
- 206
Hello,
I've been dating this cute Moroccan woman for the past 5 months. She asked to make it official one month ago. So far so good.
She is 32 years old (I'm 40), lives in my city, has been living here for 13 years since she came from Morocco, running away because her family wanted to marry her to some guy they kind of selected for her. Besides, she did not want to live there, and wanted to come to Europe for a more modern way of life. Came here when she was 19 with her brother. After a few motnths, she met an older, wealthy, guy from a common friend. She says that the moment they met, this guy wanted to marry her, but she was unsure and thought it was too soon. Anyway, after a few encounters (no sex, no kisses, nothing) in around 10 months she married at 20 (virgin) (I think she did more for stability than love, but ok). Also, she's been working in this guys business for all these years. First as a shop assistant, now she's the manager: handles clients, accounts, budget, trips, providers, etc. so she's pretty capable.
After 10 years of marriage and no kids, she found out he was cheating on her with wh-ores, so she decided to finish the relationship straighaway. Went to live with a female friend for a few months, now she will move to one of her two tiny apartments she rents. In month 4 after leaving her husband we met.
Well, the relationship it's been a bit complicated because of her circunstances, and eventhough she has several great traits, again, her circunstances are kind of difficult which makes me feel a bit stressed about the future, and also about whether or not this will be a great thing or if it will be a mistake. So far she seems the most down to Earth, sweet girl I've met, so I'd like to have an honest, rational perspective from you guys.
PROS
1 I find her pretty cute, femenine, clean, etc.
2 She expresses excitement and genuine joy when she sees me.
3 She is emotionally warm and shows genuine affection in a natural way.
4 She shows strong sexual compatibility and mutual desire.
5 She demonstrates strong loyalty.
6 She values building a stable relationship.
7 She is financially responsible and independent.
8 She manages work and any other decisions with maturity.
9 She reflects on conflicts and is capable of repairing quickly after emotional reactions.
10 She respects clear boundaries when they are communicated calmly.
11 She is not financially dependent and does not seek to rely on me for security.
12 She demonstrates courage for having built an independent life away from a restrictive family system.
13 She is willing to move step by step rather than rushing the relationship.
14 She values stability over drama.
15 She has very similar views regarding important topics like: money, politics, family, etc.
16 She does not drink alcohol, smoke, has any tattoos, or any male "friends".
16 We've had 4 serious conversations/arguments about important topics, but after a bit she took the right steps
to fix these issues. So she has good will.
17 She would like to have one kid.
18 She only had sex with her ex husband, and now with me. So body count is 1 prior to me.
19 She's not religious, she dresses like any other european woman, etc.
CONS
1 She still works in her ex husband's business. It is the only place where she has ever worked. (10 years).
2 She comes from a very rigid and patriarchal Moroccan family system.
3 ** She hid her marriage from her family for ten years. That's because the guy is not muslim, and SHE CHOSE HIM, not her father. She feels terrible for that, and says she did it that way because she was 20, was scared of her family's reaction, and did not know better, but now she does not want to hide it again once she has a strong, serious relationship with me. She says she lived with a lot of anxiety during all these years and was sad because she could share it with her mom or dad.
4 She sometimes reacts emotionally in the heat of the moment when she feels pressured, but process it and fixes it after a while.
5 She initially minimizes or avoids conflict instead of addressing it directly.
6 She carries unresolved emotional weight from her family background, and from her divorce.
7 She is in a transitional life phase (divorce and housing changes).
8 Because of all this stress, eventhough she has nice long hair, she is kind of "bolding" or losing a lot of hair in the past months, she just went to the dermatologist for this...
8 She does not speak too much.
Thanks.
P.S.
1 It's very clear she does not want to go back to her ex. She says he betrayed her, and there is no fix for this.
2 Ex husband is not interested in getting back together anymore at this point. He tried the first two months, she says.
3 She says he travelled a lot, drank a lot, and used to party with his guy friends once a month.
4 It's clear that her marriage has helped her financially a lot, because, she has her job (manager in ex husbands business), and during those years she could afford to buy two small apartments for renting as personal investments.
5 Eventhough she run away from Morocco, she still loves her parents so much, and also her brother who lives in our city. She goes to Morocco like once a year, speaks to her parents via phone call a couple of times a week, and sees her brother in our city like once a month for dinner, or whatever.
I've been dating this cute Moroccan woman for the past 5 months. She asked to make it official one month ago. So far so good.
She is 32 years old (I'm 40), lives in my city, has been living here for 13 years since she came from Morocco, running away because her family wanted to marry her to some guy they kind of selected for her. Besides, she did not want to live there, and wanted to come to Europe for a more modern way of life. Came here when she was 19 with her brother. After a few motnths, she met an older, wealthy, guy from a common friend. She says that the moment they met, this guy wanted to marry her, but she was unsure and thought it was too soon. Anyway, after a few encounters (no sex, no kisses, nothing) in around 10 months she married at 20 (virgin) (I think she did more for stability than love, but ok). Also, she's been working in this guys business for all these years. First as a shop assistant, now she's the manager: handles clients, accounts, budget, trips, providers, etc. so she's pretty capable.
After 10 years of marriage and no kids, she found out he was cheating on her with wh-ores, so she decided to finish the relationship straighaway. Went to live with a female friend for a few months, now she will move to one of her two tiny apartments she rents. In month 4 after leaving her husband we met.
Well, the relationship it's been a bit complicated because of her circunstances, and eventhough she has several great traits, again, her circunstances are kind of difficult which makes me feel a bit stressed about the future, and also about whether or not this will be a great thing or if it will be a mistake. So far she seems the most down to Earth, sweet girl I've met, so I'd like to have an honest, rational perspective from you guys.
PROS
1 I find her pretty cute, femenine, clean, etc.
2 She expresses excitement and genuine joy when she sees me.
3 She is emotionally warm and shows genuine affection in a natural way.
4 She shows strong sexual compatibility and mutual desire.
5 She demonstrates strong loyalty.
6 She values building a stable relationship.
7 She is financially responsible and independent.
8 She manages work and any other decisions with maturity.
9 She reflects on conflicts and is capable of repairing quickly after emotional reactions.
10 She respects clear boundaries when they are communicated calmly.
11 She is not financially dependent and does not seek to rely on me for security.
12 She demonstrates courage for having built an independent life away from a restrictive family system.
13 She is willing to move step by step rather than rushing the relationship.
14 She values stability over drama.
15 She has very similar views regarding important topics like: money, politics, family, etc.
16 She does not drink alcohol, smoke, has any tattoos, or any male "friends".
16 We've had 4 serious conversations/arguments about important topics, but after a bit she took the right steps
to fix these issues. So she has good will.
17 She would like to have one kid.
18 She only had sex with her ex husband, and now with me. So body count is 1 prior to me.
19 She's not religious, she dresses like any other european woman, etc.
CONS
1 She still works in her ex husband's business. It is the only place where she has ever worked. (10 years).
2 She comes from a very rigid and patriarchal Moroccan family system.
3 ** She hid her marriage from her family for ten years. That's because the guy is not muslim, and SHE CHOSE HIM, not her father. She feels terrible for that, and says she did it that way because she was 20, was scared of her family's reaction, and did not know better, but now she does not want to hide it again once she has a strong, serious relationship with me. She says she lived with a lot of anxiety during all these years and was sad because she could share it with her mom or dad.
4 She sometimes reacts emotionally in the heat of the moment when she feels pressured, but process it and fixes it after a while.
5 She initially minimizes or avoids conflict instead of addressing it directly.
6 She carries unresolved emotional weight from her family background, and from her divorce.
7 She is in a transitional life phase (divorce and housing changes).
8 Because of all this stress, eventhough she has nice long hair, she is kind of "bolding" or losing a lot of hair in the past months, she just went to the dermatologist for this...
8 She does not speak too much.
Thanks.
P.S.
1 It's very clear she does not want to go back to her ex. She says he betrayed her, and there is no fix for this.
2 Ex husband is not interested in getting back together anymore at this point. He tried the first two months, she says.
3 She says he travelled a lot, drank a lot, and used to party with his guy friends once a month.
4 It's clear that her marriage has helped her financially a lot, because, she has her job (manager in ex husbands business), and during those years she could afford to buy two small apartments for renting as personal investments.
5 Eventhough she run away from Morocco, she still loves her parents so much, and also her brother who lives in our city. She goes to Morocco like once a year, speaks to her parents via phone call a couple of times a week, and sees her brother in our city like once a month for dinner, or whatever.
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