Relationship update.

[Askaladd]

So all you gents already know about my struggles. Now we are taking atleast a week of not talking to each other. The reason she cited was that I am too passive and always leave the deciding up to her and I never think.

I will use this time to focus on improving myself. Thank you for all the advice and support. I truely appreciate it.

 

[Plinco]

So all you gents already know about my struggles. Now we are taking atleast a week of not talking to each other. The reason she cited was that I am too passive and always leave the deciding up to her and I never think.

I will use this time to focus on improving myself. Thank you for all the advice and support. I truely appreciate it.

Don't reach out to her. Wait for her to reach out to you if anything. Start thinking about yourself and think about new women in the future who will be more compatible with you.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Make it a permanent break and stop wasting your time with her.

It will take you far longer than a week to work on yourself and see any real differences and she will just slow down any progress you begin to make. That's something you have to do while you are on your own, won't work when you are with someone else.

 

[Askaladd]

Don't reach out to her. Wait for her to reach out to you if anything

If I don't reach out to her at some point she will say I don't care about her and that I am feminine for not reaching out first. Has happened before.

 

[Askaladd]

Make it a permanent break and stop wasting you le time with her.

It will take you far longer than a week to work on yourself and see any real differences and she will just slow down any progress you begin to make. That's something you have to do while you are on your own, won't work when you are with someone else.

I have been thinking about this a lot. The urge to bust my ass for goals seems very alluring.

 

[Plinco]

If I don't reach out to her at some point she will say I don't care about her and that I am feminine for not reaching out first. Has happened before.

She talks to you like that, and doesn't make any effort on her part, because she doesn't respect you. Until there is mutual trust and respect, that relationship is broken. I would break it off completely and make my way in the world. I'd forget all about her and wouldn't talk to her unless she reaches out to you. Even then I wouldn't get back with her, but if you do, she needs to show you a ton of respect to make up for what has previously happened. Like I said before, you first need to learn to respect yourself before you can expect anyone else to do the same.

I have been thinking about this a lot. The urge to bust my ass for goals seems very alluring.

Go for it! The rewards are on the horizon buddy.

 

[Clockwerk50]

The chickens have come home to roost. You reap what you sow. You made your bed; now lie in it. Pick whichever saying fits your situation best.

Everyone gave you advice and warned you what to do, not only to avoid lowering her attraction to you, but also to build your self-respect. Unfortunately, you ignored that advice.

Thankfully, she did you a favor. Hopefully, this is the wake-up call you need to move on from this pathetic phase of your life, chasing long-distance situations that go nowhere, and start building something meaningful for yourself. Start by reading this, then go to the gym.

No More Mr Nice Guy: A Proven Plan for Getting What You Want in Love, Sex, and Life: Glover, Robert A.: 9780762415335: Amazon.com: Books

 

[Gamisch]

Ah I remember you... the ldr guy innit? Who wanted out of life because of her?

Well, she basically said that she wants a REAL MAN. A man who goes after what he wants in life. Here's the thing: ( been there) if a man feels emasculated he tends to mirror a woman's behavior as a method to give her a "taste of her own medicine ". But we are NOT women!!!! And they are not men!!! IOW; the effect won't be the same ESPECIALLY when she is already out of the door with one and a half foot.

Easy example: once you argue with a woman it's you in your most feminine. Might feel nice to win a verbal judo match, but it will demolish everything she feels for you inside of her AKA losing respect for you.

Imma be blunt:a one week no contact combo with a LDR means she is fecking a new dude. She already blames you thus she frees herself from any guilt.

Man the F up, learn to be alone and never I'll repeat NEVER depend on another person let alone a woman for YOUR happiness!!!! Told you in the previous thread to EJECT IMMEDIATELY. Call her right now and tell her it's over. She'll be happy you did it...next you man up, sketch a 5 year plan that doesn't involve women or friends and act accordingly.

I GUARANTEE you will meet a dime piece when you least expect it,one who lives around the corner and will respect you for who you are. Man up or remain a emotional sack of sh't.

 

[Askaladd]

Easy example: once you argue with a woman it's you in your most feminine. Might feel nice to win a verbal judo match, but it will demolish everything she feels for you inside of her AKA losing respect for you.

Always walk away?

 

[Gamisch]

Always walk away?

Remember this meme?


This is how I feel whenever a woman " traps" me into having an argument.

She got me....best analogy I've heard is the "playing dog "metaphor.

When you have a dog and you do NOT wanna play ,the dog won't care. You might wanna go home ,its raining youre in a hurry ect but the dog wants you to chase ,run ect assuming it's a game..the more frustration you show,yhe more yhe dog wants to continue this " game".

Now I don't say women are dogs....just a metaphor. But it's the same when you argue with a woman. You try to logically muscle your way through it and finish the argument as soon as possible and as rational as possible, while she might actually ENJOY the arguing. So she won't necessarily feel like stopping. Regardless of how "logical " or even right you might be.

Recently dated a woman who at one time had me stuck for HOURS arguing in circles. Literally came home in my working clothes around 6, and around 9 I still hadn't changed, eaten ,showered ect. Nonstop back and forth verbal scrambling about nothingness.

I felt like a fecking B*TCH. Completely emasculated no ballz senor , playing HER game by HER rules( because she wouldn't stop thus SHE was controlling the dance).

Obviously it was the last time we talked...but it was a valuable reminder to NEVER ARGUE WITJ A WOMAN.


If she tries to trap you( and she will) my advice is to shrug it off while simultaneously avoiding becoming a yes-man doormat . If you're dealing with a real toxic one ,she'll pick up on this and find a way to sabotage the relationship. Your response to walk away and deescalate might actually be best!!!


If she wont adjust? Good riddance, next.

 

[Askaladd]

Remember this meme?
View attachment 15192

This is how I feel whenever a woman " traps" me into having an argument.

She got me....best analogy I've heard is the "playing dog "metaphor.

When you have a dog and you do NOT wanna play ,the dog won't care. You might wanna go home ,its raining youre in a hurry ect but the dog wants you to chase ,run ect assuming it's a game..the more frustration you show,yhe more yhe dog wants to continue this " game".

Now I don't say women are dogs....just a metaphor. But it's the same when you argue with a woman. You try to logically muscle your way through it and finish the argument as soon as possible and as rational as possible, while she might actually ENJOY the arguing. So she won't necessarily feel like stopping. Regardless of how "logical " or even right you might be.

Recently dated a woman who at one time had me stuck for HOURS arguing in circles. Literally came home in my working clothes around 6, and around 9 I still hadn't changed, eaten ,showered ect. Nonstop back and forth verbal scrambling about nothingness.

I felt like a fecking B*TCH. Completely emasculated no ballz senor , playing HER game by HER rules( because she wouldn't stop thus SHE was controlling the dance).

Obviously it was the last time we talked...but it was a valuable reminder to NEVER ARGUE WITJ A WOMAN.


If she tries to trap you( and she will) my advice is to shrug it off while simultaneously avoiding becoming a yes-man doormat . If you're dealing with a real toxic one ,she'll pick up on this and find a way to sabotage the relationship. Your response to walk away and deescalate might actually be best!!!


If she wont adjust? Good riddance, next.

What if you express an opinion that she gets mad at and is now forever angry until you apologize?

 

[Gamisch]

What if you express an opinion that she gets mad at and is now forever angry until you apologize?

Example?

 

[Askaladd]

Example?

Let's say she presents a dress she likes. You tell your honest opinion about it, you don't like it. Now she is mad at you and will not talk to you and only respond with a mean "what" to all communication attempts. The only way to resolve this is to apologize and tell her she was right

 

[RoadKing_Rabbit]

Let's say she presents a dress she likes. You tell your honest opinion about it, you don't like it. Now she is mad at you and will not talk to you and only respond with a mean "what" to all communication attempts. The only way to resolve this is to apologize and tell her she was right

NO! If you did something that your mother or sister would say "WOW. What a d1ck thing to do!", then you might consider an apology. If you know damn good and well you did nothing wrong NEVER apologize. You woke up this morning, right? You gonna apologize for that? Did you tie your shoes! Daggone it, you'd better tell me you're sorry! Oh! You think the Goonies was a terrible movie? I'm NEVER SPEAKING TO YOU AGAIN! It those examples sound ridiculous, there's hope for you and I believe in you. If those sounded reasonable, I think you should read them again until they sound silly. Make some up if you have to!

If I don't reach out to her at some point she will say I don't care about her and that I am feminine for not reaching out first. Has happened before.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! She doesn't respect you if she's said this before! Big question is why do you care about her saying you don't care!? This is where you show that your spine has steel and bark back "I DO care! That's why I'm not suggesting you wear a dress that will make you look like the Michelin man!/Lawrence of Arabia/Reticulated giraffe!" What, she knows what being a man is? How many years of experience does she have on you being a man? GYAARRRRGH!!!! You going to tell a surgeon how and where to cut? Want to tell a biologist that a rock can give birth to a live snake without an egg? Her telling you you're feminine should have 0 effect on you.

And if it does, CURB HER. Because as a MAN, you should not tolerate that at any level! Go to the mirror right now and give YOURSELF an apology and then forgive yourself and then say "NO MORE!"