Why do we get oneitis for some women, but not for others??

[tesla8520]

I'm pretty sure some of you men here have found the answer to this question:
Why do we get ONEITIS for some women, but not for others?

I mean, we're still attracted to them, and we'd be madly in love with them, but we don't have ONEITIS for them.
But for other women, we do. So, have you found the solution?

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

One itis is a self delusion.

You fantasize that the women is a perfect match for you, even though you know little about her.

Why it happens with some women and not others is mostly subconscious.

For the women it does happen with, there is something about her that leads you (or rather your subconscious) to believe she's your "soul mate' and you'll be perfect together.

 

[Prepostereax]

One itis is a self delusion.

You fantasize that the women is a perfect match for you, even though you know little about her.

This.
Oneitis is mostly about what's going on in your head, possibly due to scarcity* than the woman herself.

(*other factors can play into it here, that's in the woman's control, significantly push/pull, and mystery - seduction factors)
But a well-grounded person is immune to this.

 

[oOh Nasty]

I'd say that finding women attractive is quite normal and healthy for men.

From my personal experience, the part where it turns into One-Itis (which I'd like to assume the definition to be unhealthy and obsessive thoughts and actions with the intent of getting one chick to "fall for you") is when we: take some sort of action (ask her out...try to micro-flirt, etc) -> don't get the result we want (rejection, her being repulsed, etc) -> and then doubling down that there's some "glimmer of hope" with this chick, causing you to keep trying. Rinse and repeat the same process over and over again with the same chick, with new "techniques" all while sacrificing the integral areas of your manhood.

Once we actually get that bit of rejection, our brains trick us to overvalue that which we are attempting to obtain. That's why sometimess, we get one-itis for chicks who aren't even all that, and we look back at those one-itis moments and absolutely cringe and feel embarassed for ourselves.

So. Find a chick hot. Are you going to take action? If yes, do so (generally speaking, attempt to get her on a date or on some kind of alone time). If she rejects you the first time, forget about her and move on asap. On to the NEXT. That's how you stop the one-itis from budding.

Basically, any negative results = MOVE ON. Anything other than that will result in one-itis forming.

 

[Alvafe]

One itis is a self delusion.

You fantasize that the women is a perfect match for you, even though you know little about her.

Why it happens with some women and not others is mostly subconscious.

For the women it does happen with, there is something about her that leads you (or rather your subconscious) to believe she's your "soul mate' and you'll be perfect together.

with in general means you find her hot an you want to do her, everything else is your mind filling the lack of information to give a reason for that, because admit you only want se* is too mean or not ok for some reason

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Because those women you have created a fantasy version of them in your mind that doesn't actually exist and you are in love with that version of them instead of the one in real life.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

I'm pretty sure some of you men here have found the answer to this question:
Why do we get ONEITIS for some women, but not for others?

I mean, we're still attracted to them, and we'd be madly in love with them, but we don't have ONEITIS for them.
But for other women, we do. So, have you found the solution?

Love/infatuation/passion is genuine raw desire and intense mutual attraction.

Onetis is just...fantasy. I don't necessarily think it happens due to any particular qualities of the girl in question, rather it's more about your internal mindset and the circumstances of your life. Onetis is is more likely to occurr if you lack a greater purpose in life and think that a woman will make you happy, for instance.

For the women it does happen with, there is something about her that leads you (or rather your subconscious) to believe she's your "soul mate' and you'll be perfect together.

I don't believe in soul mates nor do I think a "perfect" relationship exists as well, but surely you can admit that some women tap into something that others don't. What do you call that? Sometimes it seems like people use the words onetis and infatuation interchangeably.

 

[Aguirre]

Many women have pretty face but often men act like these women somehow earned it. Give men a single reason more, no matter how trivial, and it’s a done deal.

She looks good and you both love hockey? One-itis.

She looks good and puts pineapple on pizza too? One-itis.

 

[Clockwerk50]

Oneitis is about your life position; it shows up when your life feels empty or misaligned and one person becomes a psychological escape, source of meaning, or solution to your problems. That's why it only happens with certain women because it is about timing since they appear when you're below your baseline and craving relief. You are basically coming in from a place of inferiority. When your life is full, directed, and self-sustaining, the likelihood of oneitis is really low.

 

[Travel memoir21]

That’s true, when your life has purpose and meaning and you have an emotional high that surpasses a woman’s validation ….then fvck yes, you won’t get oneitis. Your activities throughout your day is what determines whether you’re bound or very vulnerable to get oneitis or not. For example, do you jerk off to porn a lot? and don’t practice semen retention? that’s a no no. A man needs discipline, log on to nofap.com and start the semen retention habit today. Do you also don’t go to the gym, don’t do yoga, take brisk walks? That’s a no no, get back on the grind. Do you also spend your time purposeless and not doing things that can contribute to society? That’s a no no, your life has to have meaning. One that don’t cater to women’s whims. Your activities and actions is the sum of who you are as a Man, make smart choices.

 

[LTG71]

You become obsessed with the fantasy of what could be. In reality, that person might be a complete disaster but you brain is high on chemicals making them seem perfect.

 

[plumber]

oneitis.

one-itis.

by definition, its one. it blocks others. first girl you see as attractive and also gives, or you feel any validation from will trigger it. the validation can be nothing or very little, just a smile.... your brain locks that as interest. we see it all the time in the forum. man is asking if he got a valid green light signal when the girl is just being polite.

after the brain locks out other women. this is the real danger. chasing/waiting/wishing for her instead of working with the many others that are available.

 

[Plinco]

I'm pretty sure some of you men here have found the answer to this question:
Why do we get ONEITIS for some women, but not for others?

I mean, we're still attracted to them, and we'd be madly in love with them, but we don't have ONEITIS for them.
But for other women, we do. So, have you found the solution?

What you are attracted to is a result of what you are deeply convinced of; what you are attracted to says something about you.

As far as obsession goes, that's a matter of focus. Someone who obsesses has questionable impulse control.

 

[justaroundthecorner]

I think its easy to get onetis if:
- you are attracted to the woman
- you are sex-deprived
- you try to microflirt/catch eyecontact and this fail
- there is actually some social obstacle to try the shot (you work this this woman or study in the same group therefore it will not be possible to evade meeting her if she will refuse you)
- you idealise women (or sex with them)

This all will lead to onetis if you will not break the thinking pattern somehow.