The price of Freedom

[crowolf]

I am reading some David Buss stuff about SMV, and I am thinking about the following:

If I am a Free man - meaning I am being able to live life mostly on my terms, but paying the price of that by not having great career and finances - does that actually make my SMV lower or not?

Because on the one hand, I get to be myself unapologetically, do whatever I like, etc. - so that's kind of "badass", right...

But on the other hand, in the eyes of a woman (for now) I might not a stable guy to have a future with.

Don't get me wrong - I am certainly working on myself, building my skills, working on projects and temporary jobs, but I am by no means the type of a person to stick to a long-term mundane routine and build a "career" by playing stupid corporate games, being friendly with annoying people, assl1cking, etc. And as a result, I don't live in the best-looking property, for example. And this maybe affects my confidence.

Not implying that the corporate life is the only way to build a steady stream of income, but rather that I am trying to contrast 2 opposite perspectives on life.

So through the evolutionary psychology lens, where do I stand on the SMV thing, based on this? And what are your thoughts and experience with it?

Do you think living life on your own terms could be a bad idea, overall? Did you at one point or age in your life had to say "screw Freedom, peace and fun, it's time to lock-in and actually get my sh!t right"?

For the record, I am in the 25-30 age bracket. Perhaps I am uploading this messy thread to this sub-forum because I'd like to hear the opinion of people who have more life experience, and have perhaps gone through this phase themselves.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

Girls are hard-wired to like guys who dominate hierarchies. Not dudes who step back and "enjoy freedom."

So yeah, if you're going to withdraw from "the game" and enjoy freedom, etc., your SMV is def going to take a hit.

 

[crowolf]

Girls are hard-wired to like guys who dominate hierarchies. Not dudes who step back and "enjoy freedom."

So yeah, if you're going to withdraw from "the game" and enjoy freedom, etc., your SMV is def going to take a hit.

I might be creating my own hierarchy. Think of a rock-star - he is having fun, but he is also the main character in his life. That's what I mean.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

Find your strongpoint & play to that. The rest won't really matter. It's generally Looks, Status, wealth or personality/game.

 

[Manure Spherian]

If I am a Free man - meaning I am being able to live life mostly on my terms, but paying the price of that by not having great career and finances - does that actually make my SMV lower or not?

Depends on the crowd.

Because on the one hand, I get to be myself unapologetically, do whatever I like, etc. - so that's kind of "badass", right..

Not really.

So through the evolutionary psychology lens, where do I stand on the SMV thing, based on this? And what are your thoughts and experience with it?

To be used for sex, you might be just fine. As husband/father material, rock bottom.

Do you think living life on your own terms could be a bad idea, overall?

For me, terrible. For you, it might be awesome.

Did you at one point or age in your life had to say "screw Freedom, peace and fun, it's time to lock-in and actually get my sh!t right"?

For me, being disconnected from others, no family, few or no friends, no profession, no ties to community, and thereby no obligations, I’d be depressed and suicidal, not free, but mentally crippled.

the 25-30 age

Maybe you can be fine indefinitely. Many men have paid the price of taking this route when young. My former therapist had 35-year-old men in his office because of living free, and letting good women go,” only to wind up not so free. Poor health, few or no friends, no woman.

In order to live the free wheeling life some here crave, a man actually does need a high paying career or popularity.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

I might be creating my own hierarchy.

Any hierarchies must be objectively observable to people outside your brain.

The most common cope of the modern man (and women) is to pretend they are dominating the hierarchy in their mind while retreating from actual hierarchies.

Just to test your theory, suppose you walked into a social environment.

Would girls see your behavior and think, "Wow, that guy is really dominating the room."

Or do they need to look inside your imagination to find the hierarchy you think you are dominating?

 

[pipeman84]

If I am a Free man - meaning I am being able to live life mostly on my terms, but paying the price of that by not having great career and finances - does that actually make my SMV lower or not?

I don't think so. But it surely helps avoiding gold diggers and those +30yrs old women who are looking for a provider to marry and have kids with.
There's the 'starving artist' cliche ... those guys usually have girlfriends/wives ... and I think they genuinely love them, otherwise why would they be with them? Surely not for money or social status.

Think of seduction guru Zan Perrion ... the guy worked in IT or something up until his 30s or so when he quit that unfulfilling (for him) career path and began travelling the world and became involved with the seduction community. Then in 2012 when he was 48-49 he got together with a 22yrs old girl (smart, was studying to become an architect) and they're still together, living in Romania.

So going by the 'standard' SMV he'd be close to bottom while a 48yrs guy old with a good career, making lots of money would be at the top. In reality, Zan got in a relationship with a smart 22yrs old girl while the 'high SMV' guy most often marries a divorced +35yrs old woman who's only after his money.

So bottom line, you've got to live your own life, don't go by what 'experts' tell you to do or what statistically appears to be the best path.

 

[crowolf]

Any hierarchies must be objectively observable to people outside your brain.

The most common cope of the modern man (and women) is to pretend they are dominating the hierarchy in their mind while retreating from actual hierarchies.

Just to test your theory, suppose you walked into a social environment.

Would girls see your behavior and think, "Wow, that guy is really dominating the room."

Or do they need to look inside your imagination to find the hierarchy you think you are dominating?

I don’t have a need to “dominate the room”. And with that, I subtly do. They call it “sigma”.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

I don’t have a need to “dominate the room”

Then you don't have a need for any SMV.

 

[Rainman4707]

I might be creating my own hierarchy. Think of a rock-star - he is having fun, but he is also the main character in his life. That's what I mean.

If a woman can see you have potential to bring in the riches, she might take a gamble on you - Rollo Tomassi

Also remember, that women can destroy your potential. Tomassi has a post about that too in his book. A hell of a lot of men had so much potential, but then they met a woman and spent most of his time on her.

 

[Bokanovsky]

If I am a Free man - meaning I am being able to live life mostly on my terms, but paying the price of that by not having great career and finances - does that actually make my SMV lower or not?

What exactly do you mean when you say that you're living life of your terms? What sort of term are those?

I don't see how you can possibly be poor and "free" in a society that's built around access to financial resources. Everything around you costs money. You have to be independently wealthy to truly be free.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Do you have your sh!t together? None of this other stuff matters if the answer is no.