What led you to take action?

[CornbreadFed]

There was never any pain or fears I had to experience to motivate me in regards to women. There were plenty of girls that showed interest in me during high school. I reciprocated only if I had time and it made them try even harder. I was very indifferent towards them. I was lucky it worked this way because I was really clueless.

Yeah, I didn’t realize how many girls were interested in me in high school until I started actually talking to women. Instead, I dedicated my life to Xbox live and the sims 2

 

[Divorced w 3]

Hormones and when I graduated high school I met the ex girlfriend of my high school arch nemesis. Her brother in law told me that the guy wouldn’t have sex with her (weird thing to say to someone) so i promptly did that, she became my first and then when I was in college i had broken out of my shell and i was more confident but it still was a lot of trial and error

 

[Vanderdonck]

It wasn't about fear or pain for me really. I was simply not getting results relying on my old ways (go out in college, get drunk, hook up).

Once I learned what to do I was excited to try it. And it worked, after some trial and error. So it was fun for me.

 

[tksniper]

For me it was attractive women putting themselves in my field of vision and looking at me and smiling and never saying anything. I would walk away feeling the biggest sense of regret. And it would happen over and over and over again. It got to the point where I was terrified of iois from hot women lol. It was the pressure to open that got me to choke.

Eventually I started to approach hundreds of women with the aim to get rejected just to desensitize myself from rejection. I literally needed to get rejected hundreds of times before I was desensitized enough to be able to open a woman who already liked me.

 

[jhonny9546]

There were plenty of girls that showed interest in me during high school.

What was your advantage over other men at the time?

 

[The Duke]

What was your advantage over other men at the time?

Decent Looks, I wasnt a follower, my hobby, and my dad's career gave me status.

 

[crowolf]

I am somewhat certain that 75% of AA is caused by watching too much pxrn and wasting your seed / life force.

One of the things that cured my fear of approaching is NoFap / semen retention.

 

[nicksaiz65]

Yeah, I didn’t realize how many girls were interested in me in high school until I started actually talking to women. Instead, I dedicated my life to Xbox live and the sims 2

When I reflect, there were a lot of girls in high school & college where I was like “damn that girl wanted to sleep with me!”’

And then she would lose interest once I was too clueless to make a move.

Hindsight is 20/20. That’s a big reason I wanted to get into the game in the first place

 

[BaronOfHair]

Yeah, I didn’t realize how many girls were interested in me in high school until I started actually talking to women

In the days before Facebook, YouTube, and unlimited streaming, we had fewer avenues to AVOID doing the things we were terrified of. The typical rationalizations for not acting that The Manosphere has infected the minds of so many men with("But Gynocentrism/Blue Pill/Feminine Primary Social Order/Empathy Gap")didn't exist, outside perhaps a few randos on an obscure AOL chat room

 

[Drmuscular]

I was rejected, typical story, she went back to her ex, I swore revenge so I tried to self improve, looksmaxx and learnt everything about women so that I could find someone better and rub it in her face.
Now I don't care, never heard of her again, but I fell in love with looking better and getting women, its just makes life more "complete" for me you know?.
Before her though? nothing really, tbh she was the first women I actually pursued.

 

[Captain Redbeard]

I appreciate the responses so far, but I want to clarify just a little bit about what I'm asking and why I'm asking it...

I would like to know what changed for you in the moment - when you're considering talking to a beautiful woman, afraid of being rejected, and mentally talking yourself out of it.

What was the difference between all the times you successfully talked yourself out of it, versus the first time you went up and talked to her anyway?

The reason I ask is that with the coaching that I'm offering, the most common problem is approach anxiety. I can teach guys a lot of things, but I cannot force them to take action...just like a personal trainer can't force their client to walk into the gym, or the old adage about "you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink".

I'm wondering if there's a common theme among those of you who have overcome it, and if there's a way I can eliminate that barrier to entry for these guys.

For me, I saw a lot of my friends in long-term relationships with average women where sex was withheld for special occasions or good behavior. I decided I didn't want that for myself, so I started using canned pickup lines at a beach during my family's vacation, where I'd approach any woman I found attractive. This led me to overcome approach anxiety, get comfortable flirting with women, and do so in an environment where the rejections didn't follow me home and affect my reputation in my school or hometown.

That's what I'm hoping to hear from you guys, how you did it.

Biggest hurdle for these guys is that little voice has been telling them not to approach for so long and they've been listening. That voice is trying to protect from the perceived threat of social rejection. We must learn that the threat is not very serious.

I would suggest identifying that voice, telling it to sit back, make the approach anyway. Through repetition, the voice gets quieter.

I remember back in college I would try to start the night with a rejection. Quick reminder that it is no big deal and then I could operate freely the rest of the night. (Since you are trying to get rejected, this is also a great opportunity to test out some bolder game than you might normally employ and realize you can get away with a lot more than you think.)

Any time that little voice wins, I feel like sh1t. So I don't let it win.

 

[H8CourtshipWithAPassion]

well duh, for all eternity, or just long before modern medicine existed, men are the only gender that have to get off their asses and do something about it, because the world and nature, society, never comes to mens rescue, thats a fact.

 

[The Duke]

well duh, for all eternity, or just long before modern medicine existed, men are the only gender that have to get off their asses and do something about it, because the world and nature, society, never comes to mens rescue, thats a fact.

Women also reach out to other females to solve their problems. They cant even go to the bathroom by themselves.

Men go to their private cave to sort out their problems.

 

[BaronOfHair]

Men go to their private cave to sort out their problems.

Or to their bartender, a forum such as ours, etc etc

 

[OngBak]

Going to an all-male high school and realizing that I had to go out and make my own opportunities, especially with chicks that were on the margin of my social circle ("What's her story? Is she going with anyone?", etc.). My social life has been one of always having to escape grinding poverty.

Thats interesting, do you mind answering whether your class was a competitive environment? I know when mixed with men and woman, men tend to seem more competitive just to impress woman.

 

[MatureDJ]

Thats interesting, do you mind answering whether your class was a competitive environment? I know when mixed with men and woman, men tend to seem more competitive just to impress woman.

There wasn't really any competition. Well over half the class were non-Incel-tier incels, and the ones that could get women seemed to try to get others set up - although that might have been because their girlfriends went to all-girls schools, and they were always trying to get their friends set up.

When I learned of Kegger Kavanaugh's difficulty with women (he also went to an all-boys school, and he was even a football player!), I understood his situation completely.

Brett Kavanaugh

Brett Kavanaugh was formerly an incelibate, and is currently a Supreme Court justice for the USA. According to him, he experienced inceldom throughout his teens...

incels.wiki

 

[H8CourtshipWithAPassion]

Women also reach out to other females to solve their problems. They cant even go to the bathroom by themselves.

Men go to their private cave to sort out their problems.

i also know that, this is obviously true, if you are a guy, the world is normally never coming to save you, but it is true if you are a woman though, men don't get nowhere as much sympathy and emotional support as women do, thats likely a key factor why the suicide rate has always been male-dominated.

I am bringing that up because, i sadly lost someone i knew to suicide back in July, i attended his funeral.

 

[inquisitor]

I am bringing that up because, i sadly lost someone i knew to suicide back in July, i attended his funeral.

Condolences. You think you might have an idea why?

 

[H8CourtshipWithAPassion]

Condolences. You think you might have an idea why?

i know he had been dealing with depression for many years, don't know the specifics though, i know he never married though.

 

[Solomon]

I just broke up with the hottest girl at the time I was 23 years old. I had some experince with women but usually it wasn't the ones I wanted. My ex put me through the ringer so to speak, I had lost all confidence because of how batshyt crazy she went after I broke up with her i.e., ruining my reputation, calling the cops on false allegations, pretending to be pregnant etc.

I remember in New years eve of 2008, right before I turned 24. I was with my two best friends at a time and we all made a pact that we would find quality girls. One of my buddies ended up with his now wife, another buddy ended up in an LTR just to find out she was cheating on him with a bum a year or so later and I delved fully into seduction. I did meet a great girl but at the time I was so heavy into the game tand arrogant that I thought I could do better, boy oh boy I can honestly say since that girl never met anyone like her. Whatever I knew I pushed it to the back, I read shyt tons of field reports at work then the weekend would come and I would field test to my surprise a lot of stuff worked and a lot of stuff was b.s. or unnecessary

The older I get the more I realize it's not about women but levleing up to be the betst version of my self or my dieal version