What led you to take action?

[BPH]

I'm not asking what led you to this forum, pick-up, red pill mindset, whatever.

What I want to know is what pain did you have to experience, or what motivated you to overcome your fears and approach women you found attractive?

When was the pain of staying the same greater than the pain of rejection and embarrassment?

 

[CornbreadFed]

Nothing lol. I just started approaching women after I left for college.

 

[BPH]

Nothing lol. I just started approaching women after I left for college.

This question is more for the guys who didn't come out the womb slingin d*ck.

 

[Plinco]

I'm not asking what led you to this forum, pick-up, red pill mindset, whatever.

What I want to know is what pain did you have to experience, or what motivated you to overcome your fears and approach women you found attractive?

When was the pain of staying the same greater than the pain of rejection and embarrassment?

That came to me in two stages. I was indirectly approaching women while I was in high school. I started directly approaching women a few years after covid after getting my stuff sufficiently together and attempting to adapt to having no social circle.

 

[Doctor Europeo]

I'm not asking what led you to this forum, pick-up, red pill mindset, whatever.

What I want to know is what pain did you have to experience, or what motivated you to overcome your fears and approach women you found attractive?

When was the pain of staying the same greater than the pain of rejection and embarrassment?

Maybe its not exactly what you are asking, but I remember this very specific moment for me. My previous LTR had broken up with me after more than four years together.

She took a plane to Texas and when she arrived, she ended things over text. Man, I was a wreck (mentally).

I went No Contact but (at the time) I wanted her back. But I only wanted her back because I was afraid I was not gonna be able to pull someone better. I remember posting about the breakup here...

There was one member...For the life of me I cant remember his username...

He said something along the lines of "Lets assume that hypothetically you get back together. She already broke up with you once, how can you know she wont break up with you again later than the road?"

Man, reading those words.....Something just "clicked" inside my head...Just like that, I didnt want her back anymore. Just because I read a small post that made sense to me.

"Never get back with an ex" was one of The Rational Male´s Iron Rules, but during those 4 years I had un-learned a bunch of stuff along the way.

But God had a plan. I started reading again, re-learning basic stuff I had forgotten.

Six months later, I had met and pulled someone so much better, leaps and bounds ahead of her. To this day I still thank my lucky starts she broke up with me; I only wish we had broken up earlier or never went exclusive at all to begin with.

 

[Isildur1]

post university i didn't want to rely on tinder or online apps as the quality was low - seeing my older brother go through a divorce and my other brother dating a single mother through tinder made me feel the future was bleak unless i really expanded my options - my social circle was also pretty small and calcified - all the women were in ltrs - so i did daygame and met a lot of women through that means- it was pretty transformative and gave me real abundance and options which im grateful for

 

[BaronOfHair]

What I want to know is what pain did you have to experience, or what motivated you to overcome your fears and approach women you found attractive?

Long story short:

-Ended up out on my ass in the streets at age 17, when the folks who owned the home me and my siblings(Who the state took custody of)resided in were indicted(Eventually convicted)for defrauding the state out of over a $1,000,000 smackeroos

-Went on the run temporarily*, as those bottom feeding fu-kwads had persuaded the state that I'd taken part in the fraud... I was in danger of being tried as an adult, and at the time ignorant of pro-bono legal representation

-Found myself in Las Vegas, having to survive on my own, after a life time spent retreating into fantasy worlds, as a means of NOT taking a brutally candid look at my own existence


While I've read exhaustively and attended/watched my fair share of seminars, nothing "Red Pills" a fella more effectively than being tossed out of his cushy home in Mayberry and into the realm of earthy, Everyday Men... Fellas whom Political Correctness is no less unheard of than soap is to Calcuttan slum dwellers. By time my 18th Bday rolled around, I'd received the admonition "Stop being led around by your d-ck", at least a few thousand times

I had no other option BUT to recognize that, if a man wants something(Be it high-paying employment or poonany that isn't riddled with HIV), it's incumbent on him to seek out that which he desires


*I wasn't guilty, and have since gotten this matter cleared up in court

 

[zekko]

I never considered myself a pickup artist, but there wasn't really anything that prompted me take action as far as approaching was concerned. When I was growing up (back in the 70s), that was just something you did. It was the male role (which is not to say women couldn't or didn't approach - but it was basically the male role). If you didn't ask for something, you didn't get it. It was as simple as that.

Now there were other key moments in my life where I was prompted to take action, like there was a point where I knew I had to get my career/financial life in order. I considered that much more important than finding some random woman to have sex with. I was looking to find some sort of connection more often than not, anyway. You need some luck for that though.

 

[TheGambino]

Not being a ****ing simp

 

[BPH]

I appreciate the responses so far, but I want to clarify just a little bit about what I'm asking and why I'm asking it...

I would like to know what changed for you in the moment - when you're considering talking to a beautiful woman, afraid of being rejected, and mentally talking yourself out of it.

What was the difference between all the times you successfully talked yourself out of it, versus the first time you went up and talked to her anyway?

The reason I ask is that with the coaching that I'm offering, the most common problem is approach anxiety. I can teach guys a lot of things, but I cannot force them to take action...just like a personal trainer can't force their client to walk into the gym, or the old adage about "you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink".

I'm wondering if there's a common theme among those of you who have overcome it, and if there's a way I can eliminate that barrier to entry for these guys.

For me, I saw a lot of my friends in long-term relationships with average women where sex was withheld for special occasions or good behavior. I decided I didn't want that for myself, so I started using canned pickup lines at a beach during my family's vacation, where I'd approach any woman I found attractive. This led me to overcome approach anxiety, get comfortable flirting with women, and do so in an environment where the rejections didn't follow me home and affect my reputation in my school or hometown.

That's what I'm hoping to hear from you guys, how you did it.

 

[Clockwerk50]

When I finished high school, I was part of two cliques, the “black gangsters” and the “fresh-off-the-boat” Colombians. Neither group was really a good social circle, since most of them skipped school, dropped out, or partied too much with drugs and alcohol.

What both groups had in common, though, was that they got a lot of women. The gangsters had that “bad boy” image and good looks (there was one guy who was 6'4" and always got the pick of the crop), while the Colombians were into the car scene and knew how to show girls a good time.

I got a few hookups just by association with girls would approach me or give clear signals they were interested, but things never really went anywhere because I didn’t have a car and had to rely on friends or my parents for rides.

When it came to approaching women myself, I was self-conscious about my crooked teeth. Eventually, I decided to get braces, and after 18 months my teeth were straight; I stopped being insecure about my smile.

So basically, after I got my car and fixed my teeth, two major mental and physical barriers, I just stopped caring and started going for it.

 

[jhonny9546]

@BPH


It started with personal improvement.
Physical improvement.
When women started falling all over me.
When the woman in your relationship behaves badly.
Behavioral improvement.

 

[nicksaiz65]

Continuing to go out over and over and over. I felt nervous at first, but I think if you keep going out and don’t talk to anyone, eventually your mind says “f this” because it’s more painful to not approach than approach, and you talk to some girls, overcoming the AA. Then I built momentum from there.

 

[The Duke]

There was never any pain or fears I had to experience to motivate me in regards to women. There were plenty of girls that showed interest in me during high school. I reciprocated only if I had time and it made them try even harder. I was very indifferent towards them. I was lucky it worked this way because I was really clueless.

 

[Doctor Europeo]

I appreciate the responses so far, but I want to clarify just a little bit about what I'm asking and why I'm asking it...

I would like to know what changed for you in the moment - when you're considering talking to a beautiful woman, afraid of being rejected, and mentally talking yourself out of it.

What was the difference between all the times you successfully talked yourself out of it, versus the first time you went up and talked to her anyway?

The reason I ask is that with the coaching that I'm offering, the most common problem is approach anxiety. I can teach guys a lot of things, but I cannot force them to take action...just like a personal trainer can't force their client to walk into the gym, or the old adage about "you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink".

I'm wondering if there's a common theme among those of you who have overcome it, and if there's a way I can eliminate that barrier to entry for these guys.

For me, I saw a lot of my friends in long-term relationships with average women where sex was withheld for special occasions or good behavior. I decided I didn't want that for myself, so I started using canned pickup lines at a beach during my family's vacation, where I'd approach any woman I found attractive. This led me to overcome approach anxiety, get comfortable flirting with women, and do so in an environment where the rejections didn't follow me home and affect my reputation in my school or hometown.

That's what I'm hoping to hear from you guys, how you did it.

Ah, got it. Again, reading a few words that made all the sense to me: Simply reading "Rejection is better than regret" got rid of my approach anxiety.

 

[inquisitor]

I'm not asking what led you to this forum, pick-up, red pill mindset, whatever.

What I want to know is what pain did you have to experience, or what motivated you to overcome your fears and approach women you found attractive?

When was the pain of staying the same greater than the pain of rejection and embarrassment?

Weak frame plus multiple rejections in high school, followed by being diagnosed of psoriasis concurrent with joint pain. I still get rejected, and the pain still is chronic, been living with the pain for 6 years now, which messed up my ideals and taught me the lesson: when no one cares, use it as your advantage. This diagnosis continues as I graduated college recently, and as it is autoimmune, there are no signs of stopping the symptoms until I die, unless I become very rich. So it goes. Weak hand, but I want to win big.

When you have goals that are very challenging and harder to achieve, talking to women feels so much more easier, and the experience of conversing pales in comparison to real suffering.

Now, I find talking to women very pleasurable.

 

[inquisitor]

Simpler terms: it's just a girl. You're both people. She's gonna die. You're gonna die. F*ck it. Just go and talk to her, dude.

It never mattered whether she reciprocated or not, whether she smiled or frowned, whether she paid attention or not, whether she got angry or aroused.

As long as you talked to her, and you learned the lesson, and you change yourself accordingly, you'll be alright, and there'll be more girls, but you'll be alright.

 

[MatureDJ]

I'm not asking what led you to this forum, pick-up, red pill mindset, whatever.

What I want to know is what pain did you have to experience, or what motivated you to overcome your fears and approach women you found attractive?

When was the pain of staying the same greater than the pain of rejection and embarrassment?

Going to an all-male high school and realizing that I had to go out and make my own opportunities, especially with chicks that were on the margin of my social circle ("What's her story? Is she going with anyone?", etc.). My social life has been one of always having to escape grinding poverty.

 

[MatureDJ]

There was never any pain or fears I had to experience to motivate me in regards to women. There were plenty of girls that showed interest in me during high school.

I have no reference frame to understand this whatsoever.

 

[MatureDJ]

post university i didn't want to rely on tinder or online apps as the quality was low - seeing my older brother go through a divorce and my other brother dating a single mother through tinder made me feel the future was bleak unless i really expanded my options - my social circle was also pretty small and calcified - all the women were in ltrs - so i did daygame and met a lot of women through that means- it was pretty transformative and gave me real abundance and options which im grateful for

It's OVER for CalcifiedSocialCircleCels.