The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[Glassguy]

She's over an hour away, lives in Brooklyn and if I leave on the porch they can get stolen. So while it's a good idea, may not work here.

Ok. Do you have a porch? Lol. Pack it up and tell her a time to pick it up. You dont have to open the door and deal with her.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Ok. Do you have a porch? Lol. Pack it up and tell her a time to pick it up. You dont have to open the door and deal with her.

Much easier.

 

[Glassguy]

Much easier.

There ya go.
"You left stuff at my place. What day and time are you free to come get it?"....."great. It will be boxed up out front. And I made sure to include all of it to save you any more trips. Thanks. "

 

[Divorced w 3]

There ya go.
"You left stuff at my place. What day and time are you free to come get it?"....."great. It will be boxed up out front. And I made sure to include all of it to save you any more trips. Thanks. "

Text to that effect is already out.

 

[Divorced w 3]

How do people deal with this right after. Mind you I broke up with her a week ago, but it still blows now and then. No closure, just a blowout fight, a couple logistical texts about grabbing stuff. Have heard such advice as, sit in it, don't deflect. Have heard the other common one, get right under someone. I have a couple texts out to old hookups, I have a date later.. I'm working on my business, working on my health, spending more time with the kids, getting that Dad stuff tightened up a little more, spent the weekend with my closest friends.

 

[BaronOfHair]

How do people deal with this right after. Mind you I broke up with her a week ago, but it still blows now and then

Couple of ideas:

-Remind yourself that dissatisfaction after a loss of any kind is a component of being human, much as we like to pretend that we're real-life equivalents to The Terminator, back when HE was still cool

-When you find yourself ruminating over events and experiencing unpleasant emotions, recognize what your doing, and stop ruminating/think of things you find more joyful, or at the very least, less disconcerting

 

[Divorced w 3]

Couple of ideas:

-Remind yourself that dissatisfaction after a loss of any kind is a component of being human, much as we like to pretend that we're real-life equivalents to The Terminator, back when HE was still cool

-When you find yourself ruminating over events and experiencing unpleasant emotions, recognize what your doing, and stop ruminating/think of things you find more joyful, or at the very least, less disconcerting

It's also growth. Me, prior to diagnosis and treatment, would be going 110% out at night, working out 2x a day, obsessed, stressed, angry, toxic, provocative, and ignoring everything that matters. Now I'm slowed down, definitely feeling what's going on but not chasing better feelings / evading what's happening. I'm being attending much better to what truly matters in life....like an adult

 

[Doctor Europeo]

Mind you I broke up with her a week ago, but it still blows now and then. No closure, just a blowout fight

What happened? What was the fight about? If you dont want to elaborate on that, I will understand.

FWIW, everytime a LTR ended, I ended up finding someone better (eventually). I guess its nature; we all want to trade up rather than trade down.

 

[Divorced w 3]

What happened? What was the fight about? If you dont want to elaborate on that, I will understand.

FWIW, everytime a LTR ended, I ended up finding someone better (eventually). I guess its nature; we all want to trade up rather than trade down.

What got us was continuous toxicity. The fight itself was me saying that my kids winter sports schedule looked a certain way. She said that I should slow down the scheduling because she was going to get overburdened. I said not your lane, please stop and got pretty aggravated. She kept going, I walked off called her a ***** and said she ruined another potentially good night. Two hours pass and she comes upstairs and gives me the silent treatment. I'm like what the fvck, can't we drop it. She's now digging in on my calling her a *****. So I'm like look, you are being one, you overstepped and you need to understand that I have three different ways to cover my schedule that don't involve you. She then laughs when I say my father can help and she's like, Oh go run to daddy. She laughs like really cold about my relationship with my father. My head explodes. I rip the covers off and push her out of the bedroom. She goes to sleep on the couch, I'm like no you need to leave. Take the blanket from the couch and chase her off the couch. She leaves, we basically don't speak since, except for a couple logistical texts. She slept in her car, neglected to book any of the nearby hotels and / or go to her apartment or her parents.

Therapist says I did some things right and did some wrong. However she noticed that the continuous pattern is that if I do have a good point, that she'll dig at me toxically, and then she'll go play wounded dove when my head explodes. I am a diagnosed narcissist and what this ultimately rolls up to, was not accepting no for an answer which has triggered so many events.

 

[Doctor Europeo]

Thank you for sharing. I think there is some good stuff in here.

Therapist says I did some things right

D@mn straight, you did. Good, bro

and did some wrong.

We all make mistakes. The moment I stop making mistakes is the moment I stop learning.


Sounds like the relationship has run its course. And since it was a toxic relatioship (at least to some degree) I would say its probably for the best. But like I said in my previous post, odds are you will trade up for someone less toxic and someone who gives you peace of mind.

 

[BPH]

I know you're a pretty experienced member on this forum, but I want to draw your attention to this bit:

She said that I should slow down the scheduling because she was going to get overburdened. I said not your lane, please stop and got pretty aggravated.

From the outside looking in, I don't know why you couldn't have said this instead of what you'd said, and avoided the whole fight, maybe without the "that don't involve you" part:

you need to understand that I have three different ways to cover my schedule that don't involve you.

I walked off called her a *****

I've never called any of the women I've ever been with a b****, out of anger or otherwise. It sounds like this was already doomed.

My head explodes. I rip the covers off and push her out of the bedroom. She goes to sleep on the couch, I'm like no you need to leave. Take the blanket from the couch and chase her off the couch.

This also seems like an overreaction.

Anyway, you didn't ask for my opinion on that, but it reminded me a lot of the dynamic I had with my most recent, toxic ex. As far as how to get over her...

For me, it was a slow burn after multiple fights and trying to make it work. The final fight wasn't even a fight; it was just me being tired of defending myself and calmly leaving. Months later, we would reconvene every so often for just physical flings, and those were fun for a while, and I started to see some progress in her behavior when she started going to therapy, and would apologize to me for putting me through everything she had, and understood that I tried my best. Mind you, I was still seeing other women, and was emotionally removed from the outcome of whether she had a meltdown or not, so that certainly helped. As I'd said before: never get emotional. Obviously, easier said than done.

It sounds like in your situation, you'd probably be best served by doing what I did with my first ex I really loved. She cheated on me, but lied and said it was r*pe. It took time, maybe 2 months of feeling really depressed by feeling like I could've done more. When I found out the truth, those feelings were replaced by anger, and I was very quickly able to move on.

TL;DR I'd suggest giving yourself time to be upset. Remember the good times, but don't let those happy moments convince you to give this woman another chance. Once the nostalgia wears off, remember the terrible times and why you decided to end it, then realize you're making the best decision for yourself in the long term. That way, you'll be able to meet new women with an open mind and without having a chip on your shoulder.

 

[Divorced w 3]

I know you're a pretty experienced member on this forum, but I want to draw your attention to this bit:



From the outside looking in, I don't know why you couldn't have said this instead of what you'd said, and avoided the whole fight, maybe without the "that don't involve you" part:





I've never called any of the women I've ever been with a b****, out of anger or otherwise. It sounds like this was already doomed.



This also seems like an overreaction.

Anyway, you didn't ask for my opinion on that, but it reminded me a lot of the dynamic I had with my most recent, toxic ex. As far as how to get over her...

For me, it was a slow burn after multiple fights and trying to make it work. The final fight wasn't even a fight; it was just me being tired of defending myself and calmly leaving. Months later, we would reconvene every so often for just physical flings, and those were fun for a while, and I started to see some progress in her behavior when she started going to therapy, and would apologize to me for putting me through everything she had, and understood that I tried my best. Mind you, I was still seeing other women, and was emotionally removed from the outcome of whether she had a meltdown or not, so that certainly helped. As I'd said before: never get emotional. Obviously, easier said than done.

It sounds like in your situation, you'd probably be best served by doing what I did with my first ex I really loved. She cheated on me, but lied and said it was r*pe. It took time, maybe 2 months of feeling really depressed by feeling like I could've done more. When I found out the truth, those feelings were replaced by anger, and I was very quickly able to move on.

TL;DR I'd suggest giving yourself time to be upset. Remember the good times, but don't let those happy moments convince you to give this woman another chance. Once the nostalgia wears off, remember the terrible times and why you decided to end it, then realize you're making the best decision for yourself in the long term. That way, you'll be able to meet new women with an open mind and without having a chip on your shoulder.

Thank you. Also anyone airing their business out on a forum such of this is inviting all feedback. No need to apologize.

I did in fact tell her first that I had other options. She dug in and kept going. It was all stupid. Nothing that needed to be addressed in that moment, nor worry the level of intensity.

You’re right about the overreaction. I should never have said stay in her lane. It’s a power move and raises the heat. There are better ways to address it which I am capable of in business no doubt and other issues in which I’m less emotionally involved. However, narcissistic behavior; head exploding when you don’t get what you want. A narcissist wants power.

Red pill, by the way is gas to a narcissist. I had this entire relationship under my thumb. I’ve heard before that the amount of demands and pressure I exerted were a large factor in how this toxicity was developed.

It was in fact, a slow burn, as you said. This wasn’t the first time or the first couple dozen. It’s taken time, therapy, and medication trial and error for bipolar behavior as well, to get comfortable on lots of issues, being alone and self sufficient included.

 

[Divorced w 3]

I know you're a pretty experienced member on this forum, but I want to draw your attention to this bit:



From the outside looking in, I don't know why you couldn't have said this instead of what you'd said, and avoided the whole fight, maybe without the "that don't involve you" part:





I've never called any of the women I've ever been with a b****, out of anger or otherwise. It sounds like this was already doomed.



This also seems like an overreaction.

Anyway, you didn't ask for my opinion on that, but it reminded me a lot of the dynamic I had with my most recent, toxic ex. As far as how to get over her...

For me, it was a slow burn after multiple fights and trying to make it work. The final fight wasn't even a fight; it was just me being tired of defending myself and calmly leaving. Months later, we would reconvene every so often for just physical flings, and those were fun for a while, and I started to see some progress in her behavior when she started going to therapy, and would apologize to me for putting me through everything she had, and understood that I tried my best. Mind you, I was still seeing other women, and was emotionally removed from the outcome of whether she had a meltdown or not, so that certainly helped. As I'd said before: never get emotional. Obviously, easier said than done.

It sounds like in your situation, you'd probably be best served by doing what I did with my first ex I really loved. She cheated on me, but lied and said it was r*pe. It took time, maybe 2 months of feeling really depressed by feeling like I could've done more. When I found out the truth, those feelings were replaced by anger, and I was very quickly able to move on.

TL;DR I'd suggest giving yourself time to be upset. Remember the good times, but don't let those happy moments convince you to give this woman another chance. Once the nostalgia wears off, remember the terrible times and why you decided to end it, then realize you're making the best decision for yourself in the long term. That way, you'll be able to meet new women with an open mind and without having a chip on your shoulder.

Therapist said I was right moving out of the situation, and I was wrong slamming my hand on the table asking her to stop. That I immediately lose all credibility when you put hand on (push her out of bedroom). That two hours after the fact she clearly came up with an agenda and baited me, and I should have walked away yet again (instead of pushing her out). That I should not reach out, because now I have real risk due to the hands, and the risk she told people that; that if she’s smart she won’t either, but likely that she will. Also while threats of moving out of been made before, interesting she really did it this time. Therapist said I am a bad boy and should have no trouble meeting women and hooking up, but those traits are not good long term and progress is possible.

Meanwhile, I reconnected for drinks with someone I met 7 mos ago that I never followed up with. We spent about 2 hours, she had to get back to something but spoke later driving back and looks like she’s coming over mid day next week.

It’s getting harder and lonelier. I’ve only been broken up 8 days. Reminding myself it’s a week.

 

[BPH]

Therapist said I was right moving out of the situation, and I was wrong slamming my hand on the table asking her to stop. That I immediately lose all credibility when you put hand on (push her out of bedroom). That two hours after the fact she clearly came up with an agenda and baited me, and I should have walked away yet again (instead of pushing her out). That I should not reach out, because now I have real risk due to the hands, and the risk she told people that; that if she’s smart she won’t either, but likely that she will. Also while threats of moving out of been made before, interesting she really did it this time. Therapist said I am a bad boy and should have no trouble meeting women and hooking up, but those traits are not good long term and progress is possible.

Meanwhile, I reconnected for drinks with someone I met 7 mos ago that I never followed up with. We spent about 2 hours, she had to get back to something but spoke later driving back and looks like she’s coming over mid day next week.

It’s getting harder and lonelier. I’ve only been broken up 8 days. Reminding myself it’s a week.

I'm surprised you feel lonelier with this toxic woman out of your life. I'm sure you love her and miss her, but in time, you'll also realize that this was the correct move in the long term.

From what I understand, you're a good-looking guy who makes quite a bit of money and has kids who can occupy your time and fill that loneliness you're experiencing.

I don't necessarily think you need to throw yourself back out there to meet new women before you're ready (because you'll likely harbor some resentment about your ex and project it onto them), but I think it would help you to remember why you left.

You can remember the good times...my ex could be a real sweetheart sometimes...once for New Year's, we had a little party at her house with some of her friends. I got drunk, one of her sober friends joined us, so I went drink for drink with him until HE was drunk. I got sh**faced. She had to carry me up her stairs and take care of me. I ended up puking - and AFTER I had puked, I went to kiss her (not with tongue or anything) and she didn't recoil. She was grossed out, but she also thought it was cute that even as drunk as I was, I was still lovey-dovey for her. She tucked me into her bed, gave me water and Aspirin, and regularly checked on me despite the party going on downstairs. And when everybody left, she climbed into bed and cuddled with me.

But then you can remember the bad times...I can think back to when she laid her hands on me - the first and only girl to ever do so. She had a friend over and pulled up her top to quickly flash me before the friend saw. I returned the favor, and even though she had done the same thing, it wasn't inappropriate until I did it, and she slapped me in the face as a result. That became a big fight where I tried to leave right then and there, but she blocked the door and told me she wouldn't move until I calmed down.

I can remember when, on one occasion, we had sex a bunch of times, and one of those I wasn't "ready" to go again and couldn't get it up. This coincided with her thinking I was cheating on her because she had received messages from some girl in Delaware telling her that when I went home each week, I was seeing her instead of my ex (I still don't know who was saying this, if it was even real, since she refused to show me the messages). This led to her thinking I was either cheating or had lost attraction for her, and developed into a mental block where I struggled to stay hard with her for a few weeks - leading to several follow-up fights when that fact disappointed her.

Or I can remember how she killed Valentine's Day for me, because I had scheduled a dinner, planned a rose bubble bath, and spent the weekend spoiling her - but I had work on the actual holiday. She would then get passive-aggressive about me not being there with her on a date night with her friends, which would lead to her belittling my efforts because I had not been with her on our first Valentine's Day together, leading to a breakup over text, and me breaking down in the middle of my workday.

Or how our first Thanksgiving together when she had her family over and kicked me out of her house because I had placed my hand on her sister's waist to move past her in the kitchen, and she deemed that flirtatious and inappropriate. Coupled with a conversation about "husband swapping" (which she started), where her sister jokingly agreed. I would end up staying at a Holiday Inn until her family, witnessing her snapping at me, caused them all to head home prematurely, leaving her breaking down in bed and pleading for me to come back.

Remember why you left, and be happy you left that behind. If your woman can get enough of a rise out of you that you're being physical and calling her a b*tch, then it's not a healthy dynamic. This is why it's so important not to get emotional. At this point in my life, I've dealt with and witnessed enough bad behavior from women that I'm not surprised by anything. All I can do is decide how I want to react to it, and move forward accordingly. I don't pick fights if I don't see a benefit to winning.

My dad, who divorced his first wife due to infidelity on her part, had a saying: You can be right all the way to divorce court.

 

[Divorced w 3]

I'm surprised you feel lonelier with this toxic woman out of your life. I'm sure you love her and miss her, but in time, you'll also realize that this was the correct move in the long term.

From what I understand, you're a good-looking guy who makes quite a bit of money and has kids who can occupy your time and fill that loneliness you're experiencing.

I don't necessarily think you need to throw yourself back out there to meet new women before you're ready (because you'll likely harbor some resentment about your ex and project it onto them), but I think it would help you to remember why you left.

You can remember the good times...my ex could be a real sweetheart sometimes...once for New Year's, we had a little party at her house with some of her friends. I got drunk, one of her sober friends joined us, so I went drink for drink with him until HE was drunk. I got sh**faced. She had to carry me up her stairs and take care of me. I ended up puking - and AFTER I had puked, I went to kiss her (not with tongue or anything) and she didn't recoil. She was grossed out, but she also thought it was cute that even as drunk as I was, I was still lovey-dovey for her. She tucked me into her bed, gave me water and Aspirin, and regularly checked on me despite the party going on downstairs. And when everybody left, she climbed into bed and cuddled with me.

But then you can remember the bad times...I can think back to when she laid her hands on me - the first and only girl to ever do so. She had a friend over and pulled up her top to quickly flash me before the friend saw. I returned the favor, and even though she had done the same thing, it wasn't inappropriate until I did it, and she slapped me in the face as a result. That became a big fight where I tried to leave right then and there, but she blocked the door and told me she wouldn't move until I calmed down.

I can remember when, on one occasion, we had sex a bunch of times, and one of those I wasn't "ready" to go again and couldn't get it up. This coincided with her thinking I was cheating on her because she had received messages from some girl in Delaware telling her that when I went home each week, I was seeing her instead of my ex (I still don't know who was saying this, if it was even real, since she refused to show me the messages). This led to her thinking I was either cheating or had lost attraction for her, and developed into a mental block where I struggled to stay hard with her for a few weeks - leading to several follow-up fights when that fact disappointed her.

Or I can remember how she killed Valentine's Day for me, because I had scheduled a dinner, planned a rose bubble bath, and spent the weekend spoiling her - but I had work on the actual holiday. She would then get passive-aggressive about me not being there with her on a date night with her friends, which would lead to her belittling my efforts because I had not been with her on our first Valentine's Day together, leading to a breakup over text, and me breaking down in the middle of my workday.

Or how our first Thanksgiving together when she had her family over and kicked me out of her house because I had placed my hand on her sister's waist to move past her in the kitchen, and she deemed that flirtatious and inappropriate. Coupled with a conversation about "husband swapping" (which she started), where her sister jokingly agreed. I would end up staying at a Holiday Inn until her family, witnessing her snapping at me, caused them all to head home prematurely, leaving her breaking down in bed and pleading for me to come back.

Remember why you left, and be happy you left that behind. If your woman can get enough of a rise out of you that you're being physical and calling her a b*tch, then it's not a healthy dynamic. This is why it's so important not to get emotional. At this point in my life, I've dealt with and witnessed enough bad behavior from women that I'm not surprised by anything. All I can do is decide how I want to react to it, and move forward accordingly. I don't pick fights if I don't see a benefit to winning.

My dad, who divorced his first wife due to infidelity on her part, had a saying: You can be right all the way to divorce court.

That's all good advice. Just sucks - I actually sat down with her father like 7 weeks ago - but the crazy thing is, I did it because she lost her tenant, she had two mortgages to pay (rent to me, and then her own) and I was like, this isn't good. She's bending over backwards, indebting herself, doing all the right things. The thing is, she lied to me, and her parents, about the loss of the tenant, dead to our faces. We knew the tenant was giving her a hard time at renewal so we had asked. Felt fishy so I used some of my high quality third party verification tools the following morning to check the tenant and what do you know, she has a new mailing address. I ask her that day, so when did your tenant move out - she flipped out on me, and I was like, how do you lie to the people you supposedly care the most about in the world over something so dumb, and then you go in on me like you are now. So, I said what's the underlying issue here - she's going to be strapped and we've been living together 2 years and we're like a family.

The problem I always keep coming back to is that, I had so many untreated issues, issues that I was so hard on her with, explosively and absolutely unfairly - you could even say abusively, as hard as that is to admit - but that doesn't absolve her being evasive from the very beginning, shifty tendencies I glossed over, throwing things back at me when we identified and treated these problems and yet doing exactly what she knew was the absolutely last thing she should do or risk escalating it 10x, like the other night when I was visibly upset and she was not in control of herself, either apparently to stop - things I grew to accept and love her for anyway and just said, she's human and I can be composed and keep pushing forward - but I started really getting irate when she started bringing this toxic wastebasket of her childhood friend back into her life - undoubtedly the person who helped her learn how to be so toxic, given that my girl was generally sheepish and nonconfrontational. So I was basically like look, I have zero room for that woman. She's awful to you, she embarrasses you in public, she turned a dozen people off from you for over a year, ones that just attended your birthday - she has this thing where she obviously is attracted to people who are not nice to her (me, at times, included.)

So it's starting to become reflective on trying to fit a square peg into a round hole - could someone who didn't want to be family focused have done so incredibly much for me and my kids? Yet at the same time, seem so discontent and short with me

It's very chicken or egg

I feel a lot better since the post a couple hours ago - I had a great workout, I hit the sauna and shower, went to Costco started buying stuff, which for some reason gave me a good boost of good vibes, and then I went to Target and did a little more - I think I was proud I was doing the right things and focusing more on the right things, then cleaned up around the house a little, came home and posted this. Got dinner later with a friend.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Swingers is a perfect movie for anyone dealing with this situation. I actually thought about proposing for like 5 minutes today. I ended up texting my shrink and I also threw this movie on and then, I started taking her photos down, put new ones up, cleaned up, put all her remaining stuff in boxes and I’m going to have it out in like 15 minutes. It’s reassuring I’m more Vince Vaughan on my situation so far.

 

[BPH]

Swingers is a perfect movie for anyone dealing with this situation. I actually thought about proposing for like 5 minutes today. I ended up texting my shrink and I also threw this movie on and then, I started taking her photos down, put new ones up, cleaned up, put all her remaining stuff in boxes and I’m going to have it out in like 15 minutes. It’s reassuring I’m more Vince Vaughan on my situation so far.

I think the hardest part for you will likely be what's to come.

If this woman is as toxic as you make her out to be, and anything like my ex, you're not done with her yet. She probably enjoys the drama because you make her feel something. So she'll probably try to reconcile, appeal to your physical attraction for her, etc.

At that point, you'll have to think logically rather than emotionally, so that will be something I'd expect to happen around the time she has to pick up her things, or maybe within the weeks afterward.

 

[Divorced w 3]

I think the hardest part for you will likely be what's to come.

If this woman is as toxic as you make her out to be, and anything like my ex, you're not done with her yet. She probably enjoys the drama because you make her feel something. So she'll probably try to reconcile, appeal to your physical attraction for her, etc.

At that point, you'll have to think logically rather than emotionally, so that will be something I'd expect to happen around the time she has to pick up her things, or maybe within the weeks afterward.

It’s interesting you mention that. The way she responded on my text about the details of her items…. She couldn’t believe how much I put out. The regular person would never see it, but it had this vibe of what you’re mentioning. Maybe the fact that she sent a second unnecessary text. It requires no response and so I gave none. Her birthday is also in less than two weeks.

 

[Sega Genesis]

I think the hardest part for you will likely be what's to come.

If this woman is as toxic as you make her out to be, and anything like my ex, you're not done with her yet. She probably enjoys the drama because you make her feel something. So she'll probably try to reconcile, appeal to your physical attraction for her, etc.

Chiming in late but 100% agree with this^^.

Toxic and "abusive" (your word Dw3) relationships can take on a dangerous (and "unhealthy") dynamic sometimes with the couple feeding off each other's dysfunction.

This was depicted in the HBO series "Big Little Lies" where Nicole Kidman's character (Celeste) and her abusive husband Perry were caught up in this dynamic.

There was one scene where Celeste was totally pushing Perry's buttons, she wouldn’t stop!

Perry responded by saying "Do you want me to hit you"??!!

During her therapy sessions Celeste admitted that she did! NOT because she enjoys abuse but afterwards when Perry would feel all sorts of remorse/guilt/shame and come back virtually begging forgiveness, Celeste felt like SHE then had all the power!

That was their dynamic and SHE was a full participant!

Same with your now ex-girl Dw3, she was also a full participant and she chose to be! Until this recent incident where you told her to leave.

I find it interesting that after all this, you were considering proposing? This of course rewards her poor behavior and keeps the toxic cycle going.

I think it's good you're doing some reflection and introspection and realizing and understanding your role in the toxicity and breakdown - your explosive and abusive nature (with HER) etc.

You can view it as a great learning opportunity to bring with you into your next relationship so hopefully it will be happier, healthier, less chaotic and toxic.

Assuming that's what you want?

No judgment I promise you as I've been there myself (past tense), but some people and couples thrive on a certain amount of chaos in their relationships and lives.

In any event sorry you're experiencing this, breakups suck.

Wondering if the breakup of your 12 year marriage was as dramatic and difficult as this?

In any event good luck and hope you feel better.

 

[BPH]

It’s interesting you mention that. The way she responded on my text about the details of her items…. She couldn’t believe how much I put out. The regular person would never see it, but it had this vibe of what you’re mentioning. Maybe the fact that she sent a second unnecessary text. It requires no response and so I gave none. Her birthday is also in less than two weeks.

Yep, sounds like she's fishing for a way back in.

Told ya...

Now you have to decide what you're gonna do when those feelings are inevitably brought back to your doorstep again.