She said yes to drinks but set a time limit. Red flag?

[holidayad_]

Bro. When you say she shared two stories with you, does that mean she typed you a story, or shared a video reel?

She typed like 8+ very detailed messages in a row.

 

[holidayad_]

UPDATE:

She just sent me the following messages:

"Hey, hi!

I was thinking it would be better to drive back from the show, and I can't drink beforehand.

Can we leave it for next Friday or Saturday?

Are you available?"

 

[SW15]

UPDATE:

She just sent me the following messages:

"Hey, hi!

I was thinking it would be better to drive back from the show, and I can't drink beforehand.

Can we leave it for next Friday or Saturday?

Are you available?"

So she asked to re-schedule in 6-7 days?

 

[holidayad_]

So she asked to re-schedule in 6-7 days?

Yes. She suggested Friday or Saturday.

 

[Sega Genesis]

Yes. She suggested Friday or Saturday.

Well.... the bad news is she prefers to wait another week to meet you which (1) suggests low interest and (2) furthers the chance of this fading away... unless you continue texting and chating during that time and keeping the momentum going.

The good news is there won't be a time constraint!

What are you inclined to do?

Have you responded?

 

[SW15]

Yes. She suggested Friday or Saturday.

It is good that you were bailed out of your initial mistake. @Sega Genesis assessed the basics of the situation correctly in the above post.

The best move now is to walk away. This is a sinking ship. Focus on in-person approaches.

 

[holidayad_]

Well.... the bad news is she prefers to wait another week to meet you which furthers the chance of this fading away... unless you continue texting and chating during that time and keeping the momentum going.

The good news is there won't be a time constraint!

What are you inclined to do?

Have you responded?

I will confirm that I received the message and send something like:

“No problem. Let's reschedule.”

Since she was proactive, gave a reason, and made a counteroffer, there seems to be some interest.

I won't suggest a date or confirm anything for now.

Let's see.

 

[SW15]

I will confirm that I received the message and send something like:

“No problem. Let's reschedule.”

Since she was proactive, gave a reason, and made a counteroffer, there seems to be some interest.

I won't suggest a date or confirm anything for now.

Let's see.

She gave you a counteroffer for one of two specific days. That's more effort than some women would give.

I doubt she'll react well to a “No problem. Let's reschedule.” because she already made an offer.

You can either accept her counteroffer right now, make your own counteroffer, or simply walk away. I still think walking away with zero communication would be best. You get to start over with a clean slate with other prospects.

 

[Gamisch]

.

The AWFUL advice given on this forum is just stupid.
Don't give women Friday through Saturday. Don't do this, dont do that, no IG, no FB, blah blah blah.
THERE ARE NO RULES other than DO WHAT YOU WANT.
She could have shot you down if she has something going on at 11pm. Then everyone here would be saying to delete her number. Stupidity!
But she accepted. Meet her for drinks. Have fun. We only live once.
If things go well maybe she will invite you to go with her afterwards. Who knows. Just go have fun and enjoy the night out with her.
This is why so many men STRUGGLE with dating. They try to play games and then get gamed....and then turn into the victims of the dating world.
OP- have fun. Don't listen to poor advice from strangers.
Geez looking at some of these comments, it's no wonder the average guy can't get a date and over analyzes everything. Life must be stressful for you folks.

I get what your saying yet I don't fully agree


There's a reason 1. Why " we" came up with the idea of being carefully about weekend dates..it's not something that just popped up out of nowhere. I'll get back to that in a moment.

2. OP made this thread..for a reason. Perhaps he is inexperienced and simply wants some advice, OR he kinda senses something is off. The latter often happens because EVERY man, even the incels, have at least experienced ONE woman who was highly interested and thus use that as a comparison method to gauge other women's interest level. Even if it faded over years ( in an extreme incel -like situation ).

UPDATE:

She just sent me the following messages:

"Hey, hi!

I was thinking it would be better to drive back from the show, and I can't drink beforehand.

Can we leave it for next Friday or Saturday?

Are you available?"

Boom And there we go already. Now, most will picture a cute ,sincere girl say this and actually believe what she's saying. But ...a bitter( sweet cmon guys) man like myself can't help but think " where have I seen this before?".

This is what I meant. I personally feel like it's EXTREMELY disrespectful and on a deeper level she doesn't value/ view OP as a top tier dude. She already takes away two of his weekends!!( according to yall the ideal window to date. For men or for women??) .. IF OP was dating with abundance he would have something else planned for this weekend. Now suddenly it's a coin toss: another flake( that's what it is IMO) and he's out.

Ideally a man has planned something for the weekend, either a date or plans with friends, family, bizz whatever.

I regard this as learning experience for myself as well. Don't get me wrong: for OP'S sake I do hope YOU are right. But even a quick search om sosauve teaches us that most of the times this is a sign of low interest. She assumes he doesn't have other women lined up( which is true). So now we assume she also doesn't have other men lined up on the APP?? Dating will.always remain a game(unfortunately).

Let's wait and see and again hope that YOU are right..

 

[holidayad_]

She assumes he doesn't have other women lined up( which is true).

Hahaha. How do you know?

Sorry, man, I understand what you are saying. But you're making assumptions in your post here.

 

[Gamisch]

Hahaha. How do you know?

Sorry, man, I understand what you are saying. But you're making assumptions in your post here.

No disrespect meant bro, but let's keep it a buck; if a man DOES have other women lined up the answer to her inquiry is simply: NO.

It's not like I would handle this like a pro every time..if she hot I would follow her like a puppy as well..or I might've in the past. Hence why I try to create a lifestyle where I can SINCERELY tell a woman doing this nope, I'm busy next weekend. Hence why some say week days. It's still about a first date, ya know, testing the waters and see if you guys really connect..

 

[BadBoy89]

The AWFUL advice given on this forum is just stupid.
Don't give women Friday through Saturday. Don't do this, dont do that, no IG, no FB, blah blah blah.
THERE ARE NO RULES other than DO WHAT YOU WANT.

In theory you are right, yet everything a man does before he sleeps with a woman, the woman is analyzing., testing, provoking, to see how he reacts.

Her logical brain is saying “Im meeting a guy from instagram on Sat night at 7:30 pm. Very Sexy.”

Her emotional brain is saying “Meeting a guy from instagram and on a Saturday night? No sexy introduction and he has nothing to do Sat nights? Un Sexy.”

In a way, it’s similar to a womanhating to admit they met their husband or boyfriend online. It’s not sexy, it’s not romantic, it’s not dreamy.

This is why so many men STRUGGLE with dating. They try to play games and then get gamed....and then turn into the victims of the dating world.
OP- have fun. Don't listen to poor advice from strangers.
Geez looking at some of these comments, it's no wonder the average guy can't get a date and over analyzes everything. Life must be stressful for you folks.

I don’t think it’s playing games, it’s the feeling of putting a tine limit of a first date that’s the turn off.

Yes, she is busy at 11 pm, yes she agreed to the date and didn’t reject him, yes 3.5 hours is plenty of time for a first meeting, but the way she put it, it’s a turn off, it’s like a business agreement. It’s as if she is saying “you have 3.5 hours to impress me.” and doesn’t want a genuine connection.

If I was attracted to the girl, which I’m sure the OP was, I’d be pissed she said that.

 

[Clockwerk50]

I’d message her something like:

“I’d prefer with something on Tuesday, Wednesday, or Thursday. Next weekend it is a difficult for me. If you can’t make it I understand”.

I would leave it like that, and if she can’t compromise then it is not meant to be. Communicate like an adult.

 

[Gamisch]

In theory you are right, yet everything a man does before he sleeps with a woman, the woman is analyzing., testing, provoking, to see how he reacts.

Her logical brain is saying “Im meeting a guy from instagram on Sat night at 7:30 pm. Very Sexy.”

Her emotional brain is saying “Meeting a guy from instagram and on a Saturday night? No sexy introduction and he has nothing to do Sat nights? Un Sexy.”

In a way, it’s similar to a womanhating to admit they met their husband or boyfriend online. It’s not sexy, it’s not romantic, it’s not dreamy.



I don’t think it’s playing games, it’s the feeling of putting a tine limit of a first date that’s the turn off.

Yes, she is busy at 11 pm, yes she agreed to the date and didn’t reject him, yes 3.5 hours is plenty of time for a first meeting, but the way she put it, it’s a turn off, it’s like a business agreement. It’s as if she is saying “you have 3.5 hours to impress me.” and doesn’t want a genuine connection.

If I was attracted to the girl, which I’m sure the OP was, I’d be pissed she said that.

100

Didn't we all end up here because we thought we knew it all only to get sucker punched/ backstabbed by a sweet angel?

It's( modern/dating) is a game. Great if you can do it all naturally, unfortunately most of the times..the game requires..GAME..

 

[BadBoy89]

"Hey, hi!

I was thinking it would be better to drive back from the show, and I can't drink beforehand.

Can we leave it for next Friday or Saturday?

Are you available?"

I would say “Let me know the day and time that works for you.”

That way, if she picks a day and time and then backs out again, you’ve tripped her up on her own words.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

The best move here is to re-engage with something off-kilter and random that is c0cky/funny or otherwise provides value to see if it hooks her. Right now the chances of a date even happening are pretty low. OP if you happen to see anything or think of anything that would make her laugh or smile send it and see if it moves the needle any. Don't try put much effort into it, but do it if something comes to you that's good.

Right now this is a low effort/low interest standoff that's headed to a fizzling out.

Maybe this chick will get unlucky and have her better prospects ghost her, but right that's OP's best chances of something happening.

edit - again, don't put much effort into it but a restart text can work.

 

[Gamisch]

Hahaha. How do you know?

Sorry, man, I understand what you are saying. But you're making assumptions in your post here.

Lemme give it to you straight with no chaser..

RP rule: the one who wants it more loses.

Need to say more? Let me remind you that a woman who really really REALLY wants you will move hell, heaven and earth to spend time with you...She'll call in sick on work, drop her kids anywhere, cancel Starbucks with her bestie and even flake on her bf to see you..

She nonchalantly takes two(!!!) weeks to "perhaps" meet up with you..if she is somewhat hot ,two weeks are like two months in man- time. Ideally a man is so much established that he can't and won't go along with this bs because he doesn't value pity dates / being anything but numero uno on a woman's list because he has plenty of more important shyte to take care off ; other women,bizz/ making money or family or just peace of mind and honor.

I'll close by saying that life is dynamic and I've been proven wrong plenty of time. Let's hope this is again such a case..

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Let me remind you that a woman who really really REALLY wants you will move hell, heaven and earth to spend time with you...She'll call in sick on work, drop her kids anywhere, cancel Starbucks with her bestie and even flake on her bf to see you..

Typically you have to hook her first, which the OP never did.

 

[Solomon]

The over anaylsis in this thread, WOW you guys are making something super simple frigging complicated
If OP is trying to close that night do another night
she reschedules FINE that's why you have PLATES if not get some

 

[CornbreadFed]

Holy crap right now