Need help with advice

[teakroy]

I was coming back from town after buying clothes and getting ready for the Electric Castle music festival in Romania. I was alone on a train, just a few minutes away from my stop, when I noticed a girl, around 21 years old, who got stuck at a door. I went over and helped unjam it.

She was beautiful, and after that, she approached me and asked, “Are you going to Electric Castle camping too?” I told her no, because I’d be getting off soon to go home. In that moment, something told me I should ask for her number.

I asked if she was there with a boyfriend, and she said no — like me, her plans had fallen apart and she ended up alone. I got her number and said I’d call her later. About three hours later, I called, but got a busy tone. Maybe that was the first red flag?

I live about 11 km from the festival, so I was already planning to visit. It was three days before the festival started, but I went to the nearby village. I texted her, and she replied on WhatsApp, saying we should talk there directly.

I kept searching for her, but she found me first. I asked if she wanted to stop somewhere to grab a drink or food, but she said no. Instead, I walked with her while we talked about life. Eventually, we sat on a bench and smoked together.

One thing I noticed: when she sat down, she placed her purse between us.

We stayed for about an hour, and I asked what she was doing the next day — the day before the festival opened. She said she’d sleep all day in her tent because she was tired. Maybe another red flag I ignored.

She asked if I had a car, and I told her I didn’t even have a driver’s license — she said she didn’t either, because she was afraid to learn. She asked about where I live and mentioned she had four small tattoos. She also said that on Friday she’d go see a friend perform at the festival for an hour, and that was it.

When I was about to go back to the camping area, I tried to hug her. She gave me a quick hug and turned her face away, like she didn’t want me to kiss her. Still, we agreed to meet again when the festival started.

The next day, I texted her around 9 PM, asking how she was. She never replied. That’s when I deleted her number — I just knew it was over.

When the festival began, it wasn’t too crowded yet. I saw her walking with a short guy. On the last day, I saw her again with another girl. But we never talked again.

So here’s my question: what did I do wrong? What could I have done better to avoid this? Things like this don’t happen every day — it felt like an opportunity, but maybe I messed it up somehow.

 

[Vanderdonck]

Based on this it sounds like you didn't have any sexual energy. Just friend vibes.

And you called/messaged her a lot. I get that maybe it was a small window during the festival but I think you should have just gone there to have a good time. Message her ONCE to say you'll be there and maybe you'll see her.

Put it this way, when you got her out of the stuck door, for a fleeting moment you were her hero. After that you just sounded like a nice guy. So IMO be a little more mysterious, less available.

 

[teakroy]

Based on this it sounds like you didn't have any sexual energy. Just friend vibes.

And you called/messaged her a lot. I get that maybe it was a small window during the festival but I think you should have just gone there to have a good time. Message her ONCE to say you'll be there and maybe you'll see her.

Put it this way, when you got her out of the stuck door, for a fleeting moment you were her hero. After that you just sounded like a nice guy. So IMO be a little more mysterious, less available.

Just one one call and just one text before and little comunication before , we stay one hour that day ,and she wear all time sunglasses ,today i find the number and send the last message just to clear my mind and this is all,
I probably shouldn’t write this message, but you could have told me that you have someone at Electric Castle, otherwise I wouldn’t have bothered like this. Well, you don’t have to give me any explanations, especially since I’m just a stranger, and if you at least read this message, it’s up to you. It seemed like you didn’t like me — how I look, how I behave, or that you didn’t want to communicate with me. But you could have been honest and told me beforehand that you had other plans. Yes, indeed we just passed by each other by chance, but I didn’t dare to bother since you were with someone else. The day before, I sent you a message and that’s it, but you didn’t reply...

 

[CornbreadFed]

She was beautiful, and after that, she approached me and asked, “Are you going to Electric Castle camping too?” I told her no, because I’d be getting off soon to go home. In that moment, something told me I should ask for her number.

I asked if she was there with a boyfriend, and she said no — like me, her plans had fallen apart and she ended up alone. I got her number and said I’d call her later. About three hours later, I called, but got a busy tone. Maybe that was the first red flag?

What hot girl goes to a music festival alone?? Big Ol Cap

We stayed for about an hour, and I asked what she was doing the next day — the day before the festival opened. She said she’d sleep all day in her tent because she was tired. Maybe another red flag I ignored.

She asked if I had a car, and I told her I didn’t even have a driver’s license — she said she didn’t either, because she was afraid to learn. She asked about where I live and mentioned she had four small tattoos. She also said that on Friday she’d go see a friend perform at the festival for an hour, and that was it.

wtf

When I was about to go back to the camping area, I tried to hug her. She gave me a quick hug and turned her face away, like she didn’t want me to kiss her. Still, we agreed to meet again when the festival started.

The next day, I texted her around 9 PM, asking how she was. She never replied. That’s when I deleted her number — I just knew it was over.

When the festival began, it wasn’t too crowded yet. I saw her walking with a short guy. On the last day, I saw her again with another girl. But we never talked again.

So here’s my question: what did I do wrong? What could I have done better to avoid this? Things like this don’t happen every day — it felt like an opportunity, but maybe I messed it up somehow.

It never began for you; she was clearly trying to use you for a ride or something for her gain. She saw that you couldn't provide what she wanted and ghosted you. Next time, be more direct and forward to sniff out these types of women.

 

[teakroy]

she was carry a large backpack the first time we meet maybe that was a idea and asked about car after we meet the second time.

 

[teakroy]

What hot girl goes to a music festival alone?? Big Ol Cap



wtf



It never began for you; she was clearly trying to use you for a ride or something for her gain. She saw that you couldn't provide what she wanted and ghosted you. Next time, be more direct and forward to sniff out these types of women.

Absolutely! Here’s the entire conversation translated into English, in order, ready for you to copy:

You:
I probably shouldn’t write this message, but you could have told me that you have someone at Electric Castle, otherwise I wouldn’t have bothered like this. Well, you don’t have to give me any explanations, especially since I’m just a stranger, and if you at least read this message, it’s up to you. It seemed like you didn’t like me — how I look, how I behave, or that you didn’t want to communicate with me. But you could have been honest and told me beforehand that you had other plans. Yes, indeed we just passed by each other by chance, but I didn’t dare to bother since you were with someone else. The day before, I sent you a message and that’s it, but you didn’t reply...

Her:
I thought we were just friends since I like girls anyway.

You:
Well, I didn’t say anything about being more than friends, I didn’t know you liked girls but that doesn’t matter. How did you have fun?

Her:
Too bad you didn’t realize.

You:
Honestly, my radar was definitely on off mode. Thanks for the update. I promise I’ll train it better So, are we still friends or did I get ghosted without notice?

Her:
But I see you’re really in the mood to talk, no joke.

You:
Alright, I’ll be quiet and let the silence do all the talking — at least this is a conversation at the friends’ level!

Her:
A conversation at a friendly level is very minimalist and without extensions. With my friends, I exchange two messages every two months, and even then two messages each, because I don’t care that much about them, and not about you either.

You:
Great, we’re perfectly in sync — two messages a month at least. We both learned to pretend we care and not waste too much time on conversations.

Her:
If you’re buying legal stuff, tell me which dealer you use because what’s happening here is too crazy.

You:
Yeah, I’m on drugs: a daily dose of sarcasm and a hearty serving of reality. If that’s illegal, then I plead guilty with all my heart. But I wonder — didn’t you say we talk once every two months?

Her:
If silence is golden, you’ve invested everything in colored plastic.

You:
If silence is golden, then I’m the plastic diamond of conversations.

Her:
You mean a low-quality one — that’s what a plastic diamond means.

You:
Low-quality plastic has more personality than many genuine diamonds.

Her:
Never — if you’re a real diamond, you shine anytime. Plastic is good for throwing away, that’s why they give people their money back on plastic.

You:
That’s true, but at least this plastic knows how to put on a show before being thrown away.

Her:
I’ve never heard a sentence more fake than that. It’s obvious you’re plastic, you’re not real — not at all.

You:
It’s hard to compete with someone who lives in the world of easy insults.

Her:
Go to hell, or do you want to s.. d.. ?


i reply to her with help of chat gpt and when she will not win the argument she started insulting me and i deletede after half of text.. i write ,i got
my answer what person she is..

 

[teakroy]

What hot girl goes to a music festival alone?? Big Ol Cap



wtf



It never began for you; she was clearly trying to use you for a ride or something for her gain. She saw that you couldn't provide what she wanted and ghosted you. Next time, be more direct and forward to sniff out these types of women.

u are right check down what she tell she likes girls… and start fighting..

 

[teakroy]

Based on this it sounds like you didn't have any sexual energy. Just friend vibes.

And you called/messaged her a lot. I get that maybe it was a small window during the festival but I think you should have just gone there to have a good time. Message her ONCE to say you'll be there and maybe you'll see her.

Put it this way, when you got her out of the stuck door, for a fleeting moment you were her hero. After that you just sounded like a nice guy. So IMO be a little more mysterious, less available.

more bad check down i compose some text
to make her answering,just blow me away with what she say.

 

[Clockwerk50]

The more obviously you pursue someone, the more likely you are to chase them away. The real power is in drawing them in, making them want you and possess you.

In your case, after the initial phone call, it was already clear she had low interest. A woman who is genuinely excited, obsessed, and interested wouldn’t be missing your calls, she’d be glued to her phone, waiting, or the very list, contacting you back.

Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case here. It seems like you lost your sense of value, forgot you’re the prize, and you were obviously more invested in validation and the relationship. A high interest woman would take care of the relationship and make things easy for you.

Just one one call and just one text before and little comunication before , we stay one hour that day ,and she wear all time sunglasses ,today i find the number and send the last message just to clear my mind and this is all,
I probably shouldn’t write this message, but you could have told me that you have someone at Electric Castle, otherwise I wouldn’t have bothered like this. Well, you don’t have to give me any explanations, especially since I’m just a stranger, and if you at least read this message, it’s up to you. It seemed like you didn’t like me — how I look, how I behave, or that you didn’t want to communicate with me. But you could have been honest and told me beforehand that you had other plans. Yes, indeed we just passed by each other by chance, but I didn’t dare to bother since you were with someone else. The day before, I sent you a message and that’s it, but you didn’t reply...

This makes me think you’re still a bit blue-pilled, stuck in a scarcity mindset, and you had a case of oneitis; trying too hard to keep her from slipping away. My advice: don’t send these kinds of messages to women. Looking for closure is pointless, and arguing with them is even more futile. It just makes you sound bitter and butthurt that things didn’t work out the way you wanted.

Focus on keeping your frame and moving on.

 

[teakroy]

agree she has blocked me after insulting me anyway.she was low interest after my first call giving busy tone that is when i should end all quick.i know woman make easy when they want but i pursue that ,,what if,,.

 

[ValiantMale]

To sum it up,
1) Not every woman is looking for something because they gave you their number. Several signs her show she's not that interested to begin with.
2) SEcondly, your intentions should be clear and your interest should make sense, otherwise you come off as desperate or too eager. Many girls wonder why a guy is so eager to get toknow them because, unlike us, they dont have much testosterone or a penis.
3) Thirdly you must have a sense of direction, you lead, she follows--or she has to lead and you follow... But if no one does anything, nothing will occur.

The same scenario you had, you keep it fun and offer her a sense of Excitement, Curiosity, Adventure.. + you bring a few friends of your own to the festival, now you're playing a better game. So when you see her with her friends you don't feel like outcast or extinguished by the fact that one of her friends is a guy. However, if it were myself, I wouldn't have bothered trying to project that this girl likes me, I woulda had a conversation with her and found out everything face to face before deciding to proceed. I don't think you found any real indication that she liked you to begin with but her giving you the # yet being dry gave you false hope.

 

[Vanderdonck]

Some very cringe stuff on that text exchange, OP. You can't negotiate attraction. Getting into an argument is pointless and obviously repelled her.

 

[teakroy]

yes

 

[Gamisch]

This is why men need VOLUME.

When you're starving every crumbs will look like a 5 star meal. But in reality it's just a drop on the hot plate. A nothing burger and it should be treated as such.

The discrepancy between what it takes/ means to be with a woman vs this post is staggering. OP is the type of Beta male who will always have the same issues, ranging from getting dumped ,getting friendzoned to getting cheated on constantly.

Not to be mean, just being real. You need basic understanding of women so you can at very least understand when it's time to move the F on

 

[CornbreadFed]

Op

This is why men need VOLUME.

When you're starving every crumbs will look like a 5 star meal. But in reality it's just a drop on the hot plate. A nothing burger and it should be treated as such.

The discrepancy between what it takes/ means to be with a woman vs this post is staggering. OP is the type of Beta male who will always have the same issues, ranging from getting dumped ,getting friendzoned to getting cheated on constantly.

Not to be mean, just being real. You need basic understanding of women so you can at very least understand when it's time to move the F on

Yeah it is obvious OP is a in a BAD scarcity mindset. Falling in love with a Gypsy is a new low lol.

 

[teakroy]

yes

This is why men need VOLUME.

When you're starving every crumbs will look like a 5 star meal. But in reality it's just a drop on the hot plate. A nothing burger and it should be treated as such.

The discrepancy between what it takes/ means to be with a woman vs this post is staggering. OP is the type of Beta male who will always have the same issues, ranging from getting dumped ,getting friendzoned to getting cheated on constantly.

Not to be mean, just being real. You need basic understanding of women so you can at very least understand when it's time to move the F on

Yes, sure, maybe you are right about certain points, but in Romania, it’s not easy to pick up a woman. I’ve swiped about 100k times on Tinder and got nothing, not even one date. I’m 35 years old, divorced for 9 years, and things are not as simple as you write them. I’m kind of an introvert, and sometimes, let’s say, I step out of my comfort zone and go straight for it—but that’s rare. Maybe I have some beta moments, but you can’t be a hundred percent beta. Here, if you work for minimum wage or have an acceptable salary, it’s not enough. Where do I show my qualities if I don’t even pass the first tests? Although, there might be another option: being a rebel and a bad guy.

 

[teakroy]

Op
Because the girls in the city and on the internet don’t just talk randomly with every stranger, and yes, you could say it’s scarcity when a girl matches maybe once every 6-7 months online. I don’t live in Las Vegas; I live in Romania near a big city, but I hate approaching directly because most of the time it ends in rejection based on past experiences.

Yeah it is obvious OP is a in a BAD scarcity mindset. Falling in love with a Gypsy is a new low lol.

 

[teakroy]

But from what I see, few have encouraged me with anything; from what you said, you only pointed out my bad points. Well, that’s how it is on the internet—how easy it is to act like a big Don Juan and expose others as they lose one after another.

 

[CornbreadFed]

But from what I see, few have encouraged me with anything; from what you said, you only pointed out my bad points. Well, that’s how it is on the internet—how easy it is to act like a big Don Juan and expose others as they lose one after another.

What are you trying to get out of this topic? This was a complete L for you OP so there's no sugar coating it.

 

[teakroy]

What are you trying to get out of this topic? This was a complete L for you OP so there's no sugar coating it.

I’m open to advice, but if you’re just going to criticize without support, it’s not really useful.