You make me feel relaxed

[jhonny9546]

Women around me, lovers, friends, even cousins, often say things like:

• “You make me feel relaxed.”
• “You’re so calm, it puts me at ease.”
• “You’re quiet, and it helps me unwind.”

After that, they open up completely, talk non-stop, and rarely break eye contact. It feels like they reach a level of intimacy and don’t want to leave the interaction. It is like that their emotional chaos settles in the presence of someone calm and grounded.

In my teens, I was often used as an emotional sponge. But after learning about boundaries, through SoSuave and similar sources, I’ve learned to listen without trying to fix everything. Being calm and nonjudgmental is rare and attractive, once women feel you won’t let them drain you, they respect that even more.

What's your mileage on this?

 

[jhonny9546]

listening to her and then be a sexual

That is actually built in within me, but how do you make it sexual, while keeping that connection is so hard to not broke their "confidential state" to have her to say to you "oh, so you was listening me, just to **** me"?

 

[BaronOfHair]

Women around me, lovers, friends, even cousins, often say things like:

• “You make me feel relaxed.”
• “You’re so calm, it puts me at ease.”
• “You’re quiet, and it helps me unwind.”

After that, they open up completely, talk non-stop, and rarely break eye contact. It feels like they reach a level of intimacy and don’t want to leave the interaction. It is like that their emotional chaos settles in the presence of someone calm and grounded.

In my teens, I was often used as an emotional sponge. But after learning about boundaries, through SoSuave and similar sources, I’ve learned to listen without trying to fix everything. Being calm and nonjudgmental is rare and attractive, once women feel you won’t let them drain you, they respect that even more.

What's your mileage on this?

Consider going into the priesthood. I hear Catholic Europe is desperate for native clergy

 

[ThisIsSparta]

Women around me, lovers, friends, even cousins, often say things like:

• “You make me feel relaxed.”
• “You’re so calm, it puts me at ease.”
• “You’re quiet, and it helps me unwind.”

After that, they open up completely, talk non-stop, and rarely break eye contact. It feels like they reach a level of intimacy and don’t want to leave the interaction. It is like that their emotional chaos settles in the presence of someone calm and grounded.

In my teens, I was often used as an emotional sponge. But after learning about boundaries, through SoSuave and similar sources, I’ve learned to listen without trying to fix everything. Being calm and nonjudgmental is rare and attractive, once women feel you won’t let them drain you, they respect that even more.

What's your mileage on this?

I dont know man....

arent you worried about getting friendzoned?

In my experience women are like cats, they dont eat where they shyt.
While they may enjoy dumping their emotional baggage at the comforting guy, they will rather fvck the guy that stirs excitement and all kinds of emotions in them.

I mean if it works for you to be that " soothing, nice guy" its cool. Does it work though? Do these women put out?

 

[jhonny9546]

I don't know man....



aren't you worried about getting friendzoned?



In my experience women are like cats, they don't eat where they shy.

While they may enjoy dumping their emotional baggage at the comforting guy, they will rather fvck the guy that stirs excitement and all kinds of emotions in them.



I mean if it works for you to be that "soothing, nice guy" its cool. Does it work though? Do these women put out?

I'm like that by nature.
I can only become more sexual, or interrupt/divert conversational topics, when I understand that he is using me as an emotional buffer.

I'm not as good a guy as I used to be, I understand what you mean.



Sure there are women who do this, and they prefer the exciting one, that keeps them on edge, that repels them, but you want this woman as a STR and I'm aiming for LTRs.

He said it well

I do wanna put this c0ck deep inside of you, but you are also interesting to talk to

 

[ThisIsSparta]

I'm like that by nature.
I can only become more sexual, or interrupt/divert conversational topics, when I understand that he is using me as an emotional buffer.

I'm not as good a guy as I used to be, I understand what you mean.



Sure there are women who do this, and they prefer the exciting one, that keeps them on edge, that repels them, but you want this woman as a STR and I'm aiming for LTRs.

He said it well

I understand were you are coming from and i am not judging.

If it works for you, do it.

BUT..... have you actually tried it that way? Did you get STRs/ONSs out of it? How did your LTRs work out with that approach?


For me, even in LTRs (and i had 1 year, 3, years 5 years, 13 years+) i fared way better (more respect and more desire from them) when i didnt comfort them in a way of being their "emotional dumpster". After all, women dont want you to solve their drama anyway. In fact most women need drama in their life and in absence they will create it.

 

[jhonny9546]

I'm coming back to this post since there are some updates.

So I've met some women in the last year and had 2 of them stuck on the quote "I like how you make me feel".
So women feels for a man means many things, and I've aknowledged the fact that I cannot understand what kind of natural weapon I'm using on them to make that possible.

It is like a behavior I do have from just being.
But maybe, an external viewer, or a sosuaver, could actually tell.. I'm sure about that.

Given this

For me, even in LTRs (and i had 1 year, 3, years 5 years, 13 years+) i fared way better (more respect and more desire from them) when i didnt comfort them in a way of being their "emotional dumpster". After all, women dont want you to solve their drama anyway. (But they want you to stay there and create and emotional connection with the act of listeting to them). In fact most women need drama in their life and in absence they will create it.

I'm sorry but I've missed this comment. So I'll take the opportunity to reply to it too.

I was never an emotional dumpster to women, but I'm actually there to openly listen without giving them solutions, but actually validating them a bit, or sometimes actually mirroring their emotions, when they have something to talk about which involve some drama or gossip in their daily life.
That could be a 30 second or max 5 minute talk, it's like they need someone to talk to.

They usually go out without a solution from me, but they go out with the satisfaction of having said something to someone they know will listen but not be an emotional dump.

It's kinda hard to explain but I'm not the man who will help them find a solution, but I would listen to them and usually leave them with more doubts than before, like leaving them with a question.

For example: there was this woman who told me about how her female son was left by her bf because He found out She was cheating, and how the bf actually went to the cheater guy home, to fight with him and he hit him in the nose.
So I told her "I would never do that if it were my gf, She would simply be worth of my total indifference from that moment on. What would you do about that?"
And this is actually how my "drama" conversation with women end.



Given that, @ThisIsSparta if you say that you "fared way better" when you didn't comfort them, this means you had also a past when you actually did.
So, in this case, it would be interesting to know more about how you started behave in a "better way" in order to generate more respect/desire from them.
So if you want you could also use some real examples, from your field report of your LTR's experience.