Did I Dodge A Bullet?

[Solomon]

Not asking for advice as this situation is finished, posting this more for entertainment and discussion and I got other plates. For context, I matched with this 40-year-old on Hinge Sunday. Set up our first date at 4 p.m. Monday(for Friday), got these Messages 7 Hours Later. she canceled our date with this message. @Pierce Manhammer would get a kick out of this

Picture OF The lass
​

In conclusion, I wished her well on her journey and thanked her for being honest. The younger me probably would have lashed out, being butthurt.

 

[pipeman84]

Definitely dodged a mental case.
The real question is what are you doing on Hinge, particularly with the 40yrs old demographic?

 

[The Duke]

Its nice to get a response like that. I'd appreciate it. I also bet thats something her counselor told her.

Wait and see if she is still on Hinge in a week or so. Something tells me she will be.

I'm always amazed how people don't think things thru.

 

[Clockwerk50]

The classic “it’s not you, it’s me” trope. She not only wrote an essay saying that you’re better emotionally than her (though it’s unclear how she would know this without meeting you), but we could also question why she’s on a dating app if she isn’t ready to date.

To be fair, assuming you do have game, she might be telling the truth, maybe she’s dipping her toes into the dating pool to reassure herself that it’s okay. Either she’s more damaged than we can imagine, or she just wants free attention.

 

[Bokanovsky]

The classic “it’s not you, it’s me” trope.

Not to mention that cliche "victim of narcissistic abuse" trope...which is really womanspeak for "victim of my own bad choices".

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Yup...because when women are in relationships like that, it means they actually WANT to be treated that way and when you don't, they will like it at first but over time will start to think something is wrong with you and will end up pushing you away...to get back in a relationship that is more there style like the one she was just in....

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Yeah that's crazy. its like their brain are used to be treated like that and since its familiar, they see it as okay.

Tell me about...happened to me once and ever since then anytime a woman tells me she has had abusive relationships with exes I am out ASAP. It always ends the same way.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

Women like her will say all that then jump into a relationship with Chad who treats her like garbage the next week.

 

[Solomon]

Definitely dodged a mental case.
The real question is what are you doing on Hinge, particularly with the 40yrs old demographic?

I use OLD as a supplemental game to IRL, I got my age range from 20-42, if a chick is attractive and eager, then why not? I've seen/matched with some hot 40-year-old women who look hotter than 20-year-old women. Living in a liberal town, I have seen A LOT OF women in their 20s who are built like they're in their 50s; it's truly a shame. The younger generation of women where I live on average tends to not take pride in the upkeep of their looks compared to younger women when I was in my 20s.

Wait and see if she is still on Hinge in a week or so. Something tells me she will be.

It wouldn't shock me if she was, but for me I'm not bothering to wait to find out or wasting energy thinking about it, I blocked her and focused on my other plates and acquiring more etc. From experience, women with issues like this will continue to have these issues even if she suddenly turns "Hot" for you. Something eventually will come up in her mind or eyes, and they will sabotage the situation. It's not worth the frustration to smash

Not to mention that cliche "victim of narcissistic abuse" trope...which is really womanspeak for "victim of my own bad choices".

To me is a red flag when women talk like this; as I mentioned above from past experience, these women are never worth the pursuit. A woman I met at a club in 2011 comes to mind. She was a yoga instructor, always talking this self-love crap but had some issues. We then fell out got in touch in 2013 when we ran into each other at a restaurant. She was mentally traumatized cause she had an abortion months before we met again in 2013. I haven't spoken to her since I saw her dating profile pop up in the last several weeks. Not interested in getting together whatsoever; I've been there and done that.

Tell me about...happened to me once and ever since then anytime a woman tells me she has had abusive relationships with exes I am out ASAP. It always ends the same way.

I've noticed the older I get the more this is becoming common, I do not bother with women who traumadump or overshare right away. These women are not worth the effort to date or even sex, as they tend to still be severely traumatized. Instead of taking a break from dating and working on their issues they tend to double down and ride the carousel even harder.

 

[Solomon]

But bro, that's what they most desire, hot dirty sex, being used a piece of meat for our enjoyment and then discarded like trash, so they can keep riding the CC. Who are you or even me to deny their desires?

You are right nor am I the "***** Police" but in the context of dealing with a woman who has had severe trauma and hasn't worked it out. They are the type that end up being the "Crazy" women. This is why I say the sex isn't worth it. I have had my share of those throughout my life. Now that I'm older and more experienced. I can clock those women right away(usually on the first date) because they tend to say or do something that gives major red flags.

NJ we both know, some of these crazy women don't appreciate being discarded like trash. I had a crazy ex call the cops on me saying that I beat her up, all because I wouldn't get back together with her (same woman who faked being pregnant) You know what saved my ass NJ? I was at work, and my manager was a cool older guy in his late 40s. he vouched that I was working during the time that I was allegedly whooping her butt (also, there was camera footage of me working; this was back in 2007 when I was in my early 20s). If it wasn't for my boss vouching for me, I would have ended up in jail. My ex made a false accusation You know what happened to her Nothing nada

For me I don't stick my **** in crazy to risky,

 

[Divorced w 3]

This is why you go mode one son!

 

[Solomon]

I mean you're 100% on point. But man for some reason those crazy ones have an aura of desire around them that is so powerful to not beat that meat.

This is true. crazy women can be fun, they are champions in the sack and they know how to lovebomb. However, in a situation like the original post I'd rather not fight it and graciously bow out. I had a crazy woman who I went with on a first date in January, who confessed to me she used to peg her ex-husband, who liked to crossdress(this was towards the end of her marriage when she found out he was bi). By the end of the date, she was sobbing about the failure of her marriage and the state of her life(I talked about this recently in another thread)

"Do you want to come back to my place and cuddle?"​

She asked me at the end of the date, and I declined. She had a nice ass but I just didn't wanna deal with that and also hearing how her husband like to get pegged ruined the sexual mood forme

 

[Divorced w 3]

All joking aside, I hope he didn’t dignify her with an answer. It’s well argued by now that she’s obviously going to stay on the app, she understands from his writing that he’s got a heart and emotional balance and that it doesn’t vibe: so the obvious only way now to get in her pants is to be the darker version- and that starts with simply leaving her hanging. I am sure he wrote her back, it’s not in his DNA to be dark

 

[Divorced w 3]

This is true. crazy women can be fun, they are champions in the sack and they know how to lovebomb. However, in a situation like the original post I'd rather not fight it and graciously bow out. I had a crazy woman who I went with on a first date in January, who confessed to me she used to peg her ex-husband, who liked to crossdress(this was towards the end of her marriage when she found out he was bi). By the end of the date, she was sobbing about the failure of her marriage and the state of her life(I talked about this recently in another thread)

"Do you want to come back to my place and cuddle?"​

She asked me at the end of the date, and I declined. She had a nice ass but I just didn't wanna deal with that and also hearing how her husband like to get pegged ruined the sexual mood forme

Oh man you blew that. You could have said sure, penetrative cuddling when you had her in your arms later.

 

[justaroundthecorner]

Not asking for advice as this situation is finished, posting this more for entertainment and discussion and I got other plates. For context, I matched with this 40-year-old on Hinge Sunday. Set up our first date at 4 p.m. Monday(for Friday), got these Messages 7 Hours Later. she canceled our date with this message.

She is a serial teaser using app as egobooster, most probably using her old photos & playing nice via messages, then getting kicks/pleasure from refusing men, fuelling her fantasy that she is still attractive & desired.

Its common behaviour for low-morale but at some point in the past high attractiveness females that use dating apps. It's 100% she doesn't look like on the photos and 99% sure she is not single. What she wrote is a lie.

Nevertheless, it's a reality of dating after some age. From some point it's better to pay-for-play instead of dating - with exception to old fashioned "I met her at work, she gave me tons of IOIs" situations.

I'm 39. I consider 35y old a dating border of Imperium Romanum, beyond that there is Barbaria - anyone that passes the border is automatically blamed with consequences of trespassing - if my wife will leave me I will never try to date above that age in spite of being older myself. If it means I will be considered too old for women at this age at some point I would pay for play and that's what I can advice anyone that has this terrible idea of crossing this dating border. Unless an easy plate, consequences of paying4fun are for sure less burdensome than dating older women.

 

[justaroundthecorner]

What is your reason for the cutoff be 35?

Like I wrote, aside of easy plate (she is the type that gives no resistance and leads herself to your d*ick and it all happens in 3 weeks tops from first message on dating app to fckng) then it still may or may not be fine. For example I was fcnkng some hot 35y old at some point - later she told me she is actually in LTR with a guy that has constant access to weapons in his job and keeps few sidearm pieces in his house. He also trained martial arts.

So you know, it's great until it may happen to be not so great. These women have stories, a lot of c0cks railed them (possibly dozens if not around hundred) some of these c0cks still rail them, you are most probably in their rotation, not the other way around - you may get mouthwatering thoughts about eating a ***** but that ***** you want to taste was railed by some macho guy with herpes like 18 hours ago - you get to know that after the fact or you never get to know that if you are less lucky and more interested in feeling like ultimate conqueror of pussies.

The concept of plate and rotation is something natural for women since ancient times (that's why we, men, invented religion and tradition of monogamous relationships) we just named it and feasted on this crop of male domination in relationships that lasted since Christianity took over pagan gods - it ended with end of feminism wave in late 70s in western world.

Now experienced females keep rotation, that's why dating them is hard (therefore I only roll my eyes when I read about upgrading plate to GF - only some guys will succeed and the plate needs to be inexperienced/young).

Now, 35+ women are neither inexperienced, neither young, they know the game and they hate that game is starting to work against them due to their fading looks. So it's not getting easier to date them - the easiest females to pick up are probably somewhere between age 23-27 (end of college, first few jobs, new situations for them, feeling uneasy but open for experience with older guys that may upgrade to LTR easily) therefore there is no point to go after 35+ unless you like the thrill of adventure with unexpected consequences.

 

[justaroundthecorner]

You are almost 40 and you write like a kid talking about the fantasy of Disney, but of Love like a 15 year old.

Lots of aggression dude, I don't know where is it coming from but tbh I am not that interested in this knowledge. I do not need to fantasize about things I already have and I have what I wanted. Live your life and go through used ***** if you wish. XOXO.

 

[Skyline]

Hinge has only left over christian women for me on the West Coast. I say you dodged a bullet as the platform is not good if you aren’t apart of any type of religion.

 

[CornbreadFed]

Loloool

 

[Pumax]

Yes, it's crazy. It's like their brains are used to being treated that way and because it's familiar, they consider it normal.

But for some reason those crazy people have such a strong aura of desire that they can't defeat that meat.

So you've heard it too. It's impossible for a man to resist his first encounters with those kind of women.
It takes a lot of experience before you start to understand the games.

As a good man, you feel deeply sorry, and you may become bitter in life, especially those who develop oneitis. But eventually, you start to understand that these women are programmed by their imprinting to have relationships of this type. You think that they can improve, yes, but then, they, themselves, will always feel "broken," and in many ways, they truly are.

Imagine having a child with a woman like that. I would say it's a beautiful experience if you manage to survive it. It probably gives you more strength and insight. But at an extremely high cost.

In such situations, it's easy to doubt yourself and adopt attitudes that aren't genuinely yours but are shaped by the "winner" of these relationships: broken and disturbed men.

But every day you improve through this, to become men of value out there.