What would you do in this situation

[DreamAgain]

"I’m 27 years old and my husband is 37 years old. We have a 1 year old. I’m 5’2 I was 130 pounds before pregnancy and I’m currently sitting at 160 pounds

My husband told me that he almost cheated on me when he was out one weekend for a work trip. A girl also in her 20s was showing interest in him and she was flirting with him and she tried to kiss him and my husband pulled back but he said he was tempted to go for it because he’s unhappy with my physical appearance

He said I’ve let myself go in such a short time. Complained I started gaining weight after we got married. He said I use to have a perfect small body and now I look like someone’s old fat wife. How can someone say something this cruel? I just had your baby. I’m a busy stay at home mom. I don’t have time to exercise all day like I did before I had a child. I’m always tired even when I’m busy my body is just exhausted and I just want to lay down and relax because my days go by so fast

He wants me to fix my weight. He told me he wants me to bounce back to my pre pregnancy weight and “stop eating so ****ing much”… god wtf no one has ever spoken to me like this before

Can someone actually give me useful tips on how to lose weight? I get it my husband is an *******. I want to actually lose weight though, I do want my body back, it’s just hard to lose weight"

I think this is a legitimate concern for any guy considering marriage and kids.

What can be done to avoid this? I know several examples in person of such things happening to some variation.

 

[Barrister]

My thoughts in no particular order of importance:

1. In a complete vacuum, the husband does sound like kind of an a$$hole. However, I am guessing there is a lot more to the story than what is being posted here by the woman. I am guessing he has tried to get her to start exercising again in various ways and they have all fallen flat. It is easy to pay lip service to "wanting to get back in shape" and not do anything. I am guessing the husband is extremely frustrated. 160 pounds is fairly significant for a woman who is 5'2.

2. It isn't hard for the woman to get even a 30 minute workout in if she wants to. I am sure the husband would be willing to watch the child for a short duration of time so she could do that after he is at home from work. This sounds like just excuses to not work out because "baby and stuff." Women don't seem to understand how important their appearance is to men. At 1 year - she could definitely be getting back into shape if she really wanted to be. That not happening I am sure is weighing on husband that he is now married to chick who has mailed it in. Also, diet is far more important to losing weight than any workout is. So I am guessing her diet is terrible - hence the alleged comments.

3. To answer your actual question "what can be done"? Nothing. Besides screening the best you can and acknowledging that even perfect screening won't always protect you from a woman's whims - including deciding that once she has a ring and baby she is going to mail it in on her appearance. So tread carefully if you think this is what you want.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Must be a Reddit post, I’ll bet ya a bagel.

 

[Bokanovsky]

My thoughts in no particular order of importance:

1. In a complete vacuum, the husband does sound like kind of an a$$hole. However, I am guessing there is a lot more to the story than what is being posted here by the woman. I am guessing he has tried to get her to start exercising again in various ways and they have all fallen flat. It is easy to pay lip service to "wanting to get back in shape" and not do anything. I am guessing the husband is extremely frustrated. 160 pounds is fairly significant for a woman who is 5'2.

130 lbs is already too much for someone who's only 5'2. 160 lbs is warpig territory.

I don't think the husband is an @sshole for wanting his wife to lose excess weight. She's 23% heavier than the woman he married. That's a lot. Imagine a woman marrying a guy and then discovering that he has become 23% shorter (i.e. he goes from 6'0 down to 4'8). Or his pen!s shrinks by 23%. I don't think she would be happy.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

This all depends on how much of that extra 30 lbs went to the boobage.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

130 lbs is already too much for someone who's only 5'2. 160 lbs is warpig territory.

I don't think the husband is an @sshole for wanting his wife to lose excess weight. She's 23% heavier than the woman he married. That's a lot. Imagine a woman marrying a guy and then discovering that he has become 23% shorter (i.e. he goes from 6'0 down to 4'8). Or his pen!s shrinks by 23%. I don't think she would be happy.

No it isn't. I dated a woman that was into fitness who was 5'1" and 135 lbs and had an amazing body and abs.

Depends on more than just height.

 

[Bokanovsky]

Your idea of an amazing body must be different form mine. The only way a 5'1 woman is going to be 135 lbs is if she has thick thigs and a huge ass. I'm not into that kind of look.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Not everyone is used to dating athletic chicks, and that’s ok. All of them say they don’t want to date weak men as well, so it’s kinda perfect balance if ya ask me…