On July 20th my wife and I celebrate our 16th wedding anniversary. It’s no secret to my readers that I have a very good marriage and I’m constantly asked what my ‘secret’ is…
therationalmale.com
Rollo married his wife after only 8 months of dating, and 4 of those months were non-exclusive.
That was an interesting article. Reading between the lines, I don't think his marriage is as great as he says he is.
My 2 main arguments are:
1. very shaky basis ... a 32yrs old woman marrying a 28yrs old recovering AFC (by his own admission) after only 8 months of dating, 4 of which were non-exclusive doesn't scream genuine desire to me but desperation and biological clock ticking. Rollo proudly states:
When we met my wife was dating two very rich men (we were non-exclusive, remember?), I had 2 nickels and a beat up pickup truck to my name. Mrs. Tomassi is a medical professional and the men she’d dated prior were E.R. doctors and specialists; guys making well over $300K annually. They had boats, cars, large homes, status, dispoasable wealth, and yet despite all of that I’m the one she pursued and locked in with (her Mom thought she was insane to marry me at the time).
He likes to believe he was the chosen one, the other interpretation of the facts is that he was the only one willing to marry. The 2 rich guys didn't want to commit, for them the future Mrs Tomassi was just a plate.
2. his own words
After 16 years of marriage I can honestly say there are no appreciable advantages (outside of raising children) that a man cannot enjoy single that he can married. That’s not meant to be pessimistic, but rather a caution to emphasize how important it is to disabuse yourselves of this AFC, romanticized, marriage-as-goal mentality. It’s also not to say marriage is never worth it – just that marriage is complete advantage for women with negligible, if any, benefit for men.
Does that sound like a happily married man to you? Or more like a frustrated man who used to be free to 'bang' several women and now is forced to 'bang' only one?
Firstly, if marriage has, in your own words,
negligible, if any, benefit for men
why the heck did you marry in the first place? Secondly, that line of thinking is that of a defeated man who can't even envision a happy marriage, let alone being part of one. Deep mutual love, overcoming challenges and building a life together is something unique that can only be experienced as a married man.
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