She doesn’t know what she wants

[bat soup]

I’m seeing a girl for 3 months. She is 35 and never had a serious relationship only fwb type of relationship. We meet twice a week at her place.

Tonight she told me she likes me and enjoys the sex but doesn’t have feelings for me. She doesn’t know yet what she wants but she thinks she probably doesn’t want a serious relationship in the future.
She said she is happy with what we have now exclusive sex and hangout at her place. But if she figures out someday she doesn’t want a serious relationship, then she doesn’t want to be keep this sex thing we have now forever.

I asked why she is telling me this? She said she feels I want more from this in the future and she doesn’t want to end it someday and then I blame her that she was just leading me on and didn’t want a relationship from the beginning.

Plan of action? I think I’ll keep meeting her and just text for meet ups?

Is she on her way out ?

Is this a problem or are you bragging? Sounds like the perfect plate scenario to me.

 

[RicBoy]

In all fairness, the only thing that you say to her “ thank you for being honest and fully noted. I value honest people”

Then you only talk with her when you want to sleep with her. Nothing more, nothing less. If she writes to you, do not get baited into talking with her. Just keep things professional

Then once you sleep with her, leave in maximum 10 minutes ( not in a hurry but not taking your time either )

Ideally you would sleep with her every 2-3 weeks, but not more than 1 time a week ( and that should be more an exception than most of the times )

Use the time to go out and grab a drink when you do not see her . You would be amazed of what is going on when you are not into your head too much

Thanks sounds really good. Not sure I have the balls to leave right after sex but I can start to make my visits shorter

 

[RicBoy]

Is this a problem or are you bragging? Sounds like the perfect plate scenario to me.

She is basically saying she has no feelings and she might end even the fwb thing some day. Doesn’t sounds too good honestly.
I just told her I don’t want to talk more about this again and just meet sex chill and take a day at the time with thinking about future

 

[RicBoy]

7*24=168
So how are you also spending 5-6 hours twice a week with her..?


SO THEN STOP CHASING HER. Y'all can't be chasing each other, but you still shouldn't be chasing this trainwreck.

I meant 200 hours a month HHaha

yes truth to be told I never give her the chance to chase me and test me first. At this point I’m not even sure if she will. She told me she has no feelings and if she texts she knows she will be giving me the wrong impression

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

OP: you have the advice of many experienced men telling you to preserve your dignity and walk away.

My guess is that for some reason you think you can’t do better. You talk a good line “I can dump her easy”, but you won’t. Spare yourself the grief, you’re a rookie trying to jump in the rink with a heavyweight, she’s running circles around you and probably ridiculing you to anyone she talks to.

For you to think there are no other involved with her the other 5 nights is naive. She’s been on OLD forever, has seen a lot of cawk, and you think she doesn’t have at least three other guys on speedial? Do you really think she isn’t getting hit up like every single day to fack?

Again walk away. The mental masturbation you’re engaging in on the thread is not helping you.

 

[RicBoy]

I m

What do you mean "you never gave her the chance to test you"? She's BEEN testing you - its what women do. You just repeatedly failed it which is why you're eating out of the palm of her hand.

I meant text me first more often or miss me.

 

[RicBoy]

You're beta orbiting her. You're 100% in her frame.

I don't think I have any advice you will listen to, but if you were to listen, you should just pull back. Like all the way. If she doesn't start chasing you, then she doesn't give a ****.

BUT you're quite literally her fallback plan after 15+ years of hoeing around. She will not make a good mate (for the 100th time).

I’m pulling back for sure. I will only text from now on for meet ups and most of the time I will just wait she texts me first. She needs to start chasing. It’s been 3 months it’s about time.

 

[RicBoy]

Today I didn’t text her to check if she would. She didn’t. I think was the first time we didn’t exchange texts in a month or so. We will be meeting tomorrow night at her place

 

[CornbreadFed]

Today I didn’t text her to check if she would. She didn’t. I think was the first time we didn’t exchange texts in a month or so. We will be meeting tomorrow night at her place

I know that feeling

 

[RicBoy]

I know that feeling

This is probably gonna be over soon. Not a good sign when you’re seeing someone if they don’t text in my opinion.

 

[The Duke]

I’m seeing a girl for 3 months. She is 35 and never had a serious relationship only fwb type of relationship. We meet twice a week at her place.

Tonight she told me she likes me and enjoys the sex but doesn’t have feelings for me. She doesn’t know yet what she wants but she thinks she probably doesn’t want a serious relationship in the future.
She said she is happy with what we have now exclusive sex and hangout at her place. But if she figures out someday she doesn’t want a serious relationship, then she doesn’t want to be keep this sex thing we have now forever.

I asked why she is telling me this? She said she feels I want more from this in the future and she doesn’t want to end it someday and then I blame her that she was just leading me on and didn’t want a relationship from the beginning.

Plan of action? I think I’ll keep meeting her and just text for meet ups?

Is she on her way out ?

I haven't read everything that has been shared so might be a bit off.

A person that has only had FWB relationships and nothing serious likely has an attachment disorder. When things get too deep, they detach to feel safe. You might read up on the types and see if anything makes sense.

Every girl I've ever been with that used a ton of emojis in texting had a mental issue.

 

[RicBoy]

I haven't read everything that has been shared so might be a bit off.

A person that has only had FWB relationships and nothing serious likely has an attachment disorder. When things get too deep, they detach to feel safe. You might read up on the types and see if anything makes sense.

She just texted today saying she is feeling a bit sick she will let me know later if we are meeting. She is probably on her way out

 

[CornbreadFed]

She just texted today saying she is feeling a bit sick she will let me know later if we are meeting. She is probably on her way out

Code for she is seeing if her plan A are B are in line first.

 

[RicBoy]

Code for she is seeing if her plan A are B are in line first.

I called her and she actually sounded quite sick lol and like she had been sleeping all day. Maybe I’m stressing over nothing. She said she will let me know when we can meet next to let her heal first

 

[CornbreadFed]

I called her and she actually sounded quite sick lol and like she had been sleeping all day. Maybe I’m stressing over nothing. She said she will let me know when we can meet next to let her heal first

She’s lying, if she was sick then she would call off the date and reschedule not lead you on like a potential plan c.

 

[RicBoy]

She’s lying, if she was sick then she would call off the date and reschedule not lead you on like a potential plan c.

We have met like 25 times in 3 months it’s not like a real date where everything needs to be set in stone. It’s quite chilled. But yeah she could say like Tuesday or something

 

[CornbreadFed]

We have met like 25 times in 3 months it’s not like a real date where everything needs to be set in stone. It’s quite chilled. But yeah she could say like Tuesday or something

Just tell her to not worry about it and get well soon and find something else to do.

 

[Modern Man Advice]

Simple translation:

"I don't know what I want" -> "I don't know what I want with you"

Move on if taking the next step is something you want with her. Keep enjoying casually dating her if you don't care and stop putting pressure on labeling things or taking it to the next level.

If you ask me, just the fact you are asking here is a sign that you care and bothers you. In that sense, you should move on from anything that disrupts your mental peace and masculine energy.

 

[The Duke]

I hate that it works this way, but for a man to be most successful he needs to care less about the relationship than she does. Always. Females like to wonder what their man is up to. Keeps them focused, grounded, and seeking your attention. It's the only way it works.

 

[Gamisch]

Golden nugget of wisdom and knowledge that cant be told often enough.