Providing Value: Beta or Alpha?

[SargeMaximus]

I’ve heard/read especially on PUA forums that to be alpha you have to provide value. But early in my life, before I knew about pua, I learned that if you help people or provide valuable knowledge/insight they either hate on you OR they take advantage of that and treat you like a beta subservient.

so I stopped doing that years ago but was shocked to find pua theories suggesting I go back to those old ways.

my question is: was I just doing it wrong? Or is this one of those “pua wisdoms” that is false?

 

[Mike32ct]

I don't think they meant helping people per se.

By "giving value," I think they meant providing others with good feelings and attention*, e.g. via humor, interesting stories, etc.

*The effectiveness of those things is a different debate lol. Just going by what the PUAs had in mind.

 

[Plinco]

I’ve heard/read especially on PUA forums that to be alpha you have to provide value. But early in my life, before I knew about pua, I learned that if you help people or provide valuable knowledge/insight they either hate on you OR they take advantage of that and treat you like a beta subservient.

so I stopped doing that years ago but was shocked to find pua theories suggesting I go back to those old ways.

my question is: was I just doing it wrong? Or is this one of those “pua wisdoms” that is false?

Value is earned. If they didn't earn it from you then don't provide it, unless you are doing some kind of service.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Your value to a woman largely relies on how you make them feel when they are around you and how you make them feel when you are absent from them.

Provide value = provide positive emotions and feelings without compromising yourself.

 

[SargeMaximus]

Ok thanks guys. I was more talking about with other people in general, not just women.

Value is earned. If they didn't earn it from you then don't provide it, unless you are doing some kind of service.

But if you don’t provide value unless people have earned it, how will people ever know you have value in the first place?

 

[Plinco]

Ok thanks guys. I was more talking about with other people in general, not just women.




But if you don’t provide value unless people have earned it, how will people ever know you have value in the first place?

If you are a happy guy, people will be drawn to that. Think about it as providing indicators of value, not necessarily giving something away for nothing.

 

[SargeMaximus]

If you are a happy guy, people will be drawn to that. Think about it as providing indicators of value, not necessarily giving something away for nothing.

Ok, thank you

 

[member160292]

Provide value = provide positive emotions and feelings without compromising yourself.

Yup! If you can’t extract emotions, you’re not going very far. Sometimes you get a bluebird here and there, but if you can get her to feel you’ll stand out. I recently had a first date’s eyes filled with tears, that glistening stare for 2 minutes was incredible