Would you attend a Yonge Adults group if you are old?

[corrector]

I just got this email from a local church who is having a Yonge Adults meet-up this Friday. Social circle games have not worked with me in the past and I'm not sure why I would care about trying something out as I'm older, if it never worked when I was younger.

Would you attend a Yonge Adults group with the hopes of meeting young single women or would it likely be a sausage fest/waste of time in that regard?

My mother thinks I look more mature and even with a haircut can barely pass for under 40 with my own looks. This is not like a number of years ago when I could have passed for under 20. But even then, say in 2013 (when my hair was greyed and not cut), I was booted out of one church Young Adults group for looking too old.

But then again, you could lie about your age and falsely claim you have a genetic disorder that makes you look older (ie if there is someone policing your age, but don't say that lie to the women, etc....)

 

[zekko]

My initial thought is that since you are not a young adult, I wouldn't go. Then you say you've already been thrown out of one, and that confirms it. I'm wondering why you got the email though? If they tried to throw you out you could say you were invited lol. When I was younger I took every opportunity to socialize, but that was when I was younger. I don't want to try to steer you out of something where you could possibly meet someone, but I don't like the feel of it. Do you know anybody at the church who would know the age range involved?

 

[corrector]

My initial thought is that since you are not a young adult, I wouldn't go. Then you say you've already been thrown out of one, and that confirms it. I'm wondering why you got the email though? If they tried to throw you out you could say you were invited lol. When I was younger I took every opportunity to socialize, but that was when I was younger. I don't want to try to steer you out of something where you could possibly meet someone, but I don't like the feel of it. Do you know anybody at the church who would know the age range involved?

The email says 18-35. I am 46.

Like I said they never worked when I was younger and were just another bad incel chapter in my life. Why would I try again now? Even if I was within the age range I would not feel exited about going.

 

[zekko]

The email says 18-35. I am 46.

Like I said they never worked when I was younger and were just another bad incel chapter in my life. Why would I try again now? Even if I was within the age range I would not feel exited about going.

According to the email, they don't want you there. So for me it's a definite no. I'm with you though, I probably wouldn't have enjoyed it when I was in that age group, and if I weren't I'd feel like a creeper.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

 

[characternote]

I stayed in a party hostel for teenagers in Budapest when I was like 30 a few years back and banged some of the teens haha.
Just for for it

 

[ERB]

Go as a volunteer to help.

 

[Travel memoir21]

Here's an idea. Are you an avid reader?

I'm sure there's a meet up book club you can join somewhere. Probably at a local university or something. Check it out. If you're Christian, you can pass out gospel tracts and practice your social skills with random strangers. That's not a bad way to practice your faith and meet people at the same time.

 

[corrector]

Here's an idea. Are you an avid reader?

I'm sure there's a meet up book club you can join somewhere. Probably at a local university or something. Check it out. If you're Christian, you can pass out gospel tracts and practice your social skills with random strangers. That's not a bad way to practice your faith and meet people at the same time.

Thanks, but not an avid reader, or much of a reader at all.

 

[Machine10033]

I dunno... the thought of any social meeting at a church weirds me out. I am catholic but most people that are big into my church have something off with them. Some of the dirtiest girls I know are in church every Sunday...sitting there like they didn’t just get blasted by some dude who isn’t her husband on Saturday night...... wait.... maybe go

 

[zekko]

I stayed in a party hostel for teenagers in Budapest when I was like 30 a few years back and banged some of the teens haha.

Not at all the same situation.

 

[Mike32ct]

I probably wouldn't. I'm not so worried about you being "kicked out." My concern is they might "freeze you out" i.e. selectively ignore you (clique-max) until you quit.

Agree with Zekko. I fully support you socializing, but this doesn't sound like the right venue for you.

 

[Billtx49]

Social circle games have not worked with me in the past and I'm not sure why I would care about trying something out as I'm older, if it never worked when I was younger.

But even then, say in 2013 (when my hair was greyed and not cut), I was booted out of one church Young Adults group for looking too old.

Doing the same exact thing more than once with no previous success is the definition of delusion depending heavily on hope …

 

[corrector]

I probably wouldn't. I'm not so worried about you being "kicked out." My concern is they might "freeze you out" i.e. selectively ignore you (clique-max) until you quit.

Agree with Zekko. I fully support you socializing, but this doesn't sound like the right venue for you.

They did that when I was younger. Its the main problem with churches. Just cant fit in. So I cant have a worst experience now if I already was cliqued out when I was in the age category.

 

[dark god]

Your 46....thats a hard no.

 

[SW15]

The email says 18-35. I am 46.

That's not even close. It's not worth trying.

Why would I try again now? Even if I was within the age range I would not feel exited about going.

A lot of groups and activities are like this. Co-ed sports leagues and fitness classes can be like this as well. You'd have to be passionate about the sport or fitness class to have a fighting chance of arranging dates from it. Lots of men go to things where they think they have a better chance of getting their penises wet than the bars or the swipe apps. If the only reason why they are there is to get dates and/or laid, they typically have a bad experience with those.

My concern is they might "freeze you out" i.e. selectively ignore you (clique-max) until you quit.

They did that when I was younger. Its the main problem with churches. Just cant fit in. So I cant have a worst experience now if I already was cliqued out when I was in the age category.

Religion and church groups have that reputation of being very cliquey and very difficult to break into for outsiders. I think a person has to be genuinely religious and a big believer in the dogma of that religious to get past that. Being genuinely into that religion will incentivize a person to go long enough to get vetted by others in the group as genuine.

It's super difficult to show up to a church or religion related group and randomly start trying to arrange dates. That's even difficult to do in a co-ed sports league but multiply that by a factor of 100 for a religious group.

 

[corrector]

That's not even close. It's not worth trying.



A lot of groups and activities are like this. Co-ed sports leagues and fitness classes can be like this as well. You'd have to be passionate about the sport or fitness class to have a fighting chance of arranging dates from it. Lots of men go to things where they think they have a better chance of getting their penises wet than the bars or the swipe apps. If the only reason why they are there is to get dates and/or laid, they typically have a bad experience with those.





Religion and church groups have that reputation of being very cliquey and very difficult to break into for outsiders. I think a person has to be genuinely religious and a big believer in the dogma of that religious to get past that. Being genuinely into that religion will incentivize a person to go long enough to get vetted by others in the group as genuine.

It's super difficult to show up to a church or religion related group and randomly start trying to arrange dates. That's even difficult to do in a co-ed sports league but multiply that by a factor of 100 for a religious group.

I disagree. These groups look like another case of how your looks play out. At least one Christian girl told me she could not date me because I was not white. I attended these groups multiple times over an extended period in the 00-06 area (my age 25-30 years old). If you attend at least three times you should be able see if someone likes you there or not.
I attended more than three times despite not being taken on by any girl and it becomes a cope for that. (You focus on the religion and it helps get your mind off feeling invisible by the girls, that does not help you connect with any women there). If a lady likes you or you are chad looking they will try to missionary date you and insist on marriage if things get too hot.

 

[Plinco]

I just got this email from a local church who is having a Yonge Adults meet-up this Friday. Social circle games have not worked with me in the past and I'm not sure why I would care about trying something out as I'm older, if it never worked when I was younger.

Would you attend a Yonge Adults group with the hopes of meeting young single women or would it likely be a sausage fest/waste of time in that regard?

My mother thinks I look more mature and even with a haircut can barely pass for under 40 with my own looks. This is not like a number of years ago when I could have passed for under 20. But even then, say in 2013 (when my hair was greyed and not cut), I was booted out of one church Young Adults group for looking too old.

But then again, you could lie about your age and falsely claim you have a genetic disorder that makes you look older (ie if there is someone policing your age, but don't say that lie to the women, etc....)

That totally depends on you. If you don't feel right about it then don't go. I wouldn't lie about my age either.

1.) You have to want to go there
2.) You have to feel comfortable in your own skin
3.) Don't be surprised if you get kicked out, but also don't be surprised if you ended up being glad you went if you wanted to go.

Use your judgement and go with it.

 

[Murk]

As a follower of Christ, something doesn't sit right with me about macking on 18 year old church girls.

However, the deviant in me says go for it, maybe try to find a hot girl with morals you can commit to.

I would only use church as a means to find a hot wife that believes Jesus died for our sins.

I found a good woman that believes in Christ but she doesn't tick all my boxes, the search continues.

 

[corrector]

As a follower of Christ, something doesn't sit right with me about macking on 18 year old church girls.

However, the deviant in me says go for it, maybe try to find a hot girl with morals you can commit to.

I would only use church as a means to find a hot wife that believes Jesus died for our sins.

I found a good woman that believes in Christ but she doesn't tick all my boxes, the search continues.

This works for you to actually meet women?