Zero Tolerance On Flaking

[BackInTheGame78]

lol I would’ve rescheduled, you just gave out major boyfriend vibes. You can’t say your time is valuable then sit there and want to hang with her while she’s bleeding out of her hole.

She was probably hoping to fvck and was bummed when that happened

 

[EyeBRollin]

I make one exception on flakes-

IF this girl is from a dating app and you have never previously met this girl in person, she is allowed one mulligan for the first meeting only. From OLD you aren’t a real person yet until the meeting happens. The “flake” is not a full representation of your value or her interest level. Too many other factors beyond your control at that stage.

 

[RBK]

She was probably hoping to fvck and was bummed when that happened

Agreed, I've already slept with this woman so I am giving her the benefit here. I actually enjoy her company. I am not texting her first and its her job 100% to reschedule.

 

[soulforge]

I make one exception on flakes-

IF this girl is from a dating app and you have never previously met this girl in person, she is allowed one mulligan for the first meeting only. From OLD you aren’t a real person yet until the meeting happens. The “flake” is not a full representation of your value or her interest level. Too many other factors beyond your control at that stage.

What if you have banged her and she flakes second date

 

[EyeBRollin]

What if you have banged her and she flakes second date

She’s out. Unacceptable.

Did you read what I just posted?

 

[Modern Man Advice]

What amount of flakes is acceptable or tolerable to you? One? Maybe two at the most?

I have a zero Tolerance policy. If it is the early stages of sleeping with a chick and she flakes, then I am done with her.. Without a doubt this will be an indication of low IL

However if it's a girl you have been smashing concistantly for months, and one time she flakes (with good reason) then ok maybe accept that.

Why deal with flakes, when you can simply move onto the next one.

If she doesn't appreciate your time & shows lack of respect, simply move onto the next one.

It's one of my pet peeves and non-negotiables. It's a sign of disrespect and I do not allow it.

Even with asking a girl out, I have rules. I'll ask once, maybe twice if in the first invite she has a solid reason to not be able to get together and offers an alternative. But generally speaking, I'll ask once but if she seems wishy-washy, she is out. Number deleted and best of luck.

Men, or anybody for that matter, need to really set high standards and now allow people to disrespect our time.


Modern Man Advice

 

[soulforge]

She’s out. Unacceptable.

Did you read what I just posted?

I'm only pausing that as a question, as I'm seeing many posters stating that if you have already banged her once, then the one strike rule should be applied more lightly.

Personaly I believe, if you have banged her once and she flakes on second date, that's a sign of low IL.

If you gave her good dik, and she felt you Was a catch, then likely she would make extra effort, just to keep the momentum going... Flaking puts a Holt on the momentum.

 

[EyeBRollin]

I'm only pausing that as a question, as I'm seeing many posters stating that if you have already banged her once, then the one strike rule should be applied more lightly.

That’s why a lot of them can’t retain women after sex. If she flakes, she is out. No excuses

 

[BDDazza]

What amount of flakes is acceptable or tolerable to you? One? Maybe two at the most?

I have a zero Tolerance policy. If it is the early stages of sleeping with a chick and she flakes, then I am done with her.. Without a doubt this will be an indication of low IL

However if it's a girl you have been smashing consistently for months, and one time she flakes (with good reason) then ok maybe accept that.

Why deal with flakes, when you can simply move onto the next one.

If she doesn't appreciate your time & shows lack of respect, simply move onto the next one.

Its a judgement call, if she was cooperating up to this point and she cancelled with a legitimate reason I would give her another chance to redeem herself. However, if I felt she wasn't 100% committed during the lead up and she cancelled, then I wouldn't pursue her anymore. If she was to reach out to me, she would have to put in the vast majority the effort to reschedule the date and for whatever reason I am flaked on twice in a row its an instant disqualification with an on the spot number deletion!

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That’s why a lot of them can’t retain women after sex. If she flakes, she is out. No excuses

Bit of a oxymoron, saying "she is out" isn't helping post sex retention.


OP, there is an excellent thread about screening and vettng women by Steno. The screening process should remove all the uninterested and flakey women.

LTR Screening & Vetting: Strategies and Techniques

The motivation for thread is because I have been learning and field-testing a lot of things lately and want to keep track of the stuff I learned so that I wont forget. Also I want to continue learning and gathering info so feel free to share your stuff as well. Please only post APPLICABLE...

www.sosuave.net

 

[soulforge]

I think what is crucial here is.. After the initial flake, how much effort has she made to reschedule.

Does her reschedule offer seem genuine?
Is her reschedule offer vague? I.e she doesn't suggest a date and time, simply talks about maybe another day in two weeks time etc.

Personaly after a flake, I would expect her to make 100% effort, with a detailed reschedule. Literally a date and time.

If she hints at another day some time down the line, without details, well she is just playing you along.

 

[soulforge]

This is what a flake looks like guys. This is a girl I banged on the first date.

Notice how she cancelled, we was meant to meet up on the Sunday night. Few things to take into consideration here.

When I arranged the date for the Sunday, I asked her which days she is available and she clearly stated Monday, Tuesday & Wednesday.

I opted to meet her on the Sunday night & sleep in together Monday morning. Notice in her counter offer she did not offer to reschedule for the Tuesday or Wednesday which earlier she confirmed was free days for her.

Her counter offer or reschedule offer was for the week after, which is nearly two weeks away (two weeks is a long time to wait for a girl off Bumble)

Then consider this.. I had already changed my work schedule rota, in order to meet her Sunday night. In her reschedule offer she talks about rearranging for a week day again, which means I would need to change my work rota again.

Week days are not convenient for me, and she works in a bar over the weekend.

So... Moral of the story is. I don't see why I should have to bend over backwards to accommodate this chick, especially on her time line, after she flaked on me.

 

[Solomon]

Honestly It use to be 3 strikes you're out (this was back in 2000s)
Then 1 strike

Now it's zero strikes or depending on the situation. Typically if the girl makes a counter-offer and I get the vibe she is genuine then yes but if not then no. I've had a girl drive 1.5 hour to my place for over 6 months. I had one drive 3 hours some years ago. There is no excuse for a chick flaking on me who lives 5 minutes away cause she tired and depressed. Had that happen this weekend nope nope nope I'm done

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

If they give a sincere reason for not flaking it, and offer an alternative, and it's a one-time thing, I'll let it slide if they otherwise seem high interest. In most cases it still goes well.

But if they just flake and don't even offer to reschedule, it's done.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

What is a flake to y’all tbh. I think the courtesy I can’t make it today sent well before the date is a flake and anything within a hour is stood up.

 

[EyeBRollin]

What is a flake to y’all tbh. I think the courtesy I can’t make it today sent well before the date is a flake and anything within a hour is stood up.

If she breaks the date, it is a flake. How she does it is irrelevant.

 

[soulforge]

Honestly It use to be 3 strikes you're out (this was back in 2000s)
Then 1 strike

Now it's zero strikes or depending on the situation. Typically if the girl makes a counter-offer and I get the vibe she is genuine then yes but if not then no. I've had a girl drive 1.5 hour to my place for over 6 months. I had one drive 3 hours some years ago. There is no excuse for a chick flaking on me who lives 5 minutes away cause she tired and depressed. Had that happen this weekend nope nope nope I'm done

It's difficult to tell if her reschedule is genuine. I mean sometimes the reschedule offer is vague.

In my case it was.. I could meet you sometime the week after.

Sometime? Well what if I am working that sometime, which I usually am during week

I believe a reschedule should be specific about the next date.

Example... Sorry I can't make it today blah blah blah, however would be great to meet up Friday next week..

A vague counter offer, doesn't seem worth while persuing.

 

[soulforge]

If they give a sincere reason for not flaking it, and offer an alternative, and it's a one-time thing, I'll let it slide if they otherwise seem high interest. In most cases it still goes well.

But if they just flake and don't even offer to reschedule, it's done.

What if the reschedule offer is vague..

For example, I could meet you sometime week after.. I would expect something more specific from her, after she wasted my time.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

What if the reschedule offer is vague..

For example, I could meet you sometime week after.. I would expect something more specific from her, after she wasted my time.

It would have 1-2 days later while also stating what time she is free that evening.

 

[BDDazza]

This is what a flake looks like guys. This is a girl I banged on the first date.

Notice how she cancelled, we was meant to meet up on the Sunday night. Few things to take into consideration here.

When I arranged the date for the Sunday, I asked her which days she is available and she clearly stated Monday, Tuesday & Wednesday.

I opted to meet her on the Sunday night & sleep in together Monday morning. Notice in her counter offer she did not offer to reschedule for the Tuesday or Wednesday which earlier she confirmed was free days for her.

Her counter offer or reschedule offer was for the week after, which is nearly two weeks away (two weeks is a long time to wait for a girl off Bumble)

Then consider this.. I had already changed my work schedule rota, in order to meet her Sunday night. In her reschedule offer she talks about rearranging for a week day again, which means I would need to change my work rota again.

Week days are not convenient for me, and she works in a bar over the weekend.

So... Moral of the story is. I don't see why I should have to bend over backwards to accommodate this chick, especially on her time line, after she flaked on me.

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I believe the reason she flaked is because her anti-slut defence kicked in! Your suggestion to meet Sunday night so you can creep into her bed and smash her all Monday was too transparent. I think if you countered with meeting a Tuesday or Wednesday daytime meet she would have gone for it.

Your mistake was not calling her out on the flake, this could be done in a subtle way.

1. You mean your babysitting for an entire week straight!
2. Meet next week, through you was free Tuesday and Wednesday
3. An entire week is a long time, let me know when baby sitting duty is over and we'll arrange something.

 

[RBK]

It's difficult to tell if her reschedule is genuine. I mean sometimes the reschedule offer is vague.

In my case it was.. I could meet you sometime the week after.

Sometime? Well what if I am working that sometime, which I usually am during week

I believe a reschedule should be specific about the next date.

Example... Sorry I can't make it today blah blah blah, however would be great to meet up Friday next week..

A vague counter offer, doesn't seem worth while persuing.

Agreed, its one thing if she's like "I can't make tonight, I can do Tuesday night" right off the rip.. the whole reschedule with next week is a sign of ultra low interest. Unfortunately women are getting validation all day everyday from apps and its created this false sense of value.