The fluff zone

[Brassneck]

Any tips on transitioning out of fluff talk? If I start it to build comfort I seem to get stuck in it, convo gets boring fast.

 

[SargeMaximus]

Any tips on transitioning out of fluff talk? If I start it to build comfort I seem to get stuck in it, convo gets boring fast.

This happens to me all the time. Hence why I usually just go direct sexual. Would love to know how to do the conversation style game tho:l.

 

[2Rocky]

Innuendo...or get into deeper stuff...like emotion and vulnerability. Something that makes her focus on every word.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Like 2Rocky said, use innuendo. Works best with plausible deniability.

If you succeed in getting a sexual convo established, you don't necessarily want to drop the fluff talk.

Rather, continue the fluff convo while engaging in sex talk *simultaneously* (have two separate conversations at once). They love this sh1t.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

Here is a great framework that will help you slowly become intuitive at it: General, Specific, Personal, Relatable. GSPR.

Ask a surface level question first. This is probably what you are doing and you then make the mistake of just asking another surface level question immediately following. This gets you accused of "interviewing". Once she answers the general (surface level) question, you ask her something specific about it, and after she answers, you ask her something personal. Then you share something about yourself that is relatable to that.

Here's an example.

• Me: Do you like to travel?
• Her: Oh yes, I love it!
• Me: Really? What was your favorite trip you've ever taken?
• Her: Italy!
• Me: Why is that? How did Italy make you feel and why was it your favorite?
• Her: Well, my parents were married in a small town in Italy and I always admired the story about it, and looking at the pictures of it growing up and so I just formed this romantic vision of it and wanted to experience it myself.
• Me: Interesting! That reminds me of a somewhat similar experience I had. My parents took me to Hawaii when I was 9 and it was an amazing experience, but it was so long ago that I wanted to go back and see if it was everything I remembered, and to compare my perspective as an adult to my perspective as a kid. It was a really interesting trip for that reason. So.... how was that trip to Italy? Was it everything you had built up in your mind? What were some of the biggest differences between your expectations and the reality you discovered?
• Her: <answers you>
• Me: <start over with another general question on another topic>

 

[BMX]

Back in the day on this forum, they would tell you to begin keno and neg hitting.

 

[Brassneck]

Here is a great framework that will help you slowly become intuitive at it: General, Specific, Personal, Relatable. GSPR.

Excellent tip and easy to remember, thanks.

@samspade thanks for the link, those are some fantastic questions.

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

I do more listening than talking

 

[2Rocky]

 

[Modern Man Advice]

Any tips on transitioning out of fluff talk? If I start it to build comfort I seem to get stuck in it, convo gets boring fast.

Believe it or not, great conversationalists talk very little. They are great active listeners. This effectively allows you to deepen any conversation and direct the spotlight on the other person. This then allows the person to build trust and open up to you. The next step is for you to ask questions and play with her imagination.

In conclusion, it takes time and practice to become a great conversationalist and learn when to sexualize a conversation. There will be many opportunities to sexualize the convo.

I always recommend reading How To Win Friends and Influence People by Dale C. first. You need a solid foundation of how to even communicate as most of those issues are due to the fact that people don't really know how to communicate or relate to someone. Once you have that, I believe it becomes pretty natural to sexualize the interaction and make it fun the more you date.

Modern Man Advice