Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

What exactly is the right way to use dread?

Grounded eagle

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 10, 2020
Messages
564
Reaction score
639
Age
25
Does it have no use other than establishing or maintaining frame in a relationship?
 

Barrister

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 28, 2018
Messages
2,457
Reaction score
4,154
Age
37
It helps to maintain frame - but speaking from experience, it is not a viable long term solution. If you find you are constantly having to use it in order to keep your plate/LTR in check you essentially have already lost unless you are good with having to use it forever. It gets exhausting.
 

BackInTheGame78

Moderator
Joined
Sep 10, 2014
Messages
12,987
Reaction score
13,889
What is dread?
Making a woman think she is losing or has lost you in order to get her to shape up

 

Barrister

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 28, 2018
Messages
2,457
Reaction score
4,154
Age
37
This, it isnt long term. In fact, if you hint you could walk out the door at a moments' notice due to her misbehavior, that could be the beginning of the end for your LTR prospects. Of course, it is attractive in the short term.
I agree -- I think especially if you are in a committed LTR and begin threatening to leave on a regular basis you are essentially creating toxicity -- on top of whatever bad behavior she is partaking in that is causing you to use dread to begin with. Yes, it does generate attraction in the short term because women love the emotional roller-coaster it puts them on and the feeling that they are not in control of you. But it also is going to create more tension in the relationship in general.
 

TheProspect

Moderator
Joined
Feb 5, 2016
Messages
891
Reaction score
1,795
How exactly do you put Dread game into practice?
Mostly through Silence and Distance in my experience, rather than explicit ultimatums.

Giving an ultimatum once may work, but if you rely on them it's like the boy who cried wolf and she'll call your bluff eventually.

S&D in general is best used as a natural response to sh!tty behaviour, not as a tool to modify behaviour, if that makes sense.

Good thread on it here: https://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/silence-and-distance.247311/

As mentioned in that thread and as common sense, S&D shouldn't replace proper communication, specifically in LTRs. If you feel the need to repeatedly employ S&D in your relationships, you're with the wrong girl.
 

Lookatu

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 26, 2017
Messages
3,138
Reaction score
3,960
Age
51
Dread should be used very sparingly or else it will turn into an all bark, no bite type situation and won't be taken as seriously next time.

Dread is something that should be used mainly in a stalemate scenario. Dread is what breaks the stalemate in a lot of scenarios. For example, if you've been really wronged in a certain way, or in a power struggle when she's trying to be the boss of you and not backing down, when you've already pointed out potential deal breakers with her but she continues doing them, etc.

Do not used Dread if she doesn't agree to getting the anchovies and olives pizza combo in other words...
 

2Rocky

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 13, 2016
Messages
2,540
Reaction score
2,835
Age
49
Then there is COVERT dread. Her realizing you have other options and are desirable to other women.

I think whether dread works depends a lot on the woman's attachment style....
 

DonJuanjr

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 6, 2021
Messages
3,439
Reaction score
2,395
Age
36
Like starting to lift weights and change what you wear to be more flattering of your new physique. Then as a result you start getting looks from other women, and your wife notices. That's dread.
 

Ricky

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 9, 2002
Messages
3,914
Reaction score
702
Age
50
Can Silence and Distance reverse bad situations?

To me it calms the waters.. so that beats a pattern of arguing
 

Grounded eagle

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 10, 2020
Messages
564
Reaction score
639
Age
25
Dread should be used very sparingly or else it will turn into an all bark, no bite type situation and won't be taken as seriously next time.

Dread is something that should be used mainly in a stalemate scenario. Dread is what breaks the stalemate in a lot of scenarios. For example, if you've been really wronged in a certain way, or in a power struggle when she's trying to be the boss of you and not backing down, when you've already pointed out potential deal breakers with her but she continues doing them, etc.

Do not used Dread if she doesn't agree to getting the anchovies and olives pizza combo in other words...
I hadn’t actually thought of it that way.
 
Top