The plates get cleared and the silence lands like a brick. You can feel her waiting. Your brain offers up your commute, your job, the weather — topics that have ended more second dates than bad breath.
Here's what most guys never learn: women hand out free conversational material all night long. Tiny clues about what they actually want to discuss. Catch them and you never run out of things to say — because she's telling you what to say next.
Rule 4 of the "22 Rules" trains your ear to catch every single one.
She's upset you didn't ask her out for Valentine's Day is my guess unless you already told her that you had other engagements. You still need to S&D but my guess is that is what this is about.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Allow us to save some time for each of us and end the discussion here. Best of luck in your endeavors.
"Man" and "woman" is derogatory? I ask because the advice you are giving in this thread is either that you are a chick or hardcore blue pill. I am genuinely curious and not judging you at all.
And how would you feel if she is dating someone else?
I don't feel that really...I mean we were going to meet up this past Thursday and she had work stuff to deal with. Sunday is not a day she has free to meet up so that wouldn't be it.
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Oh gosh the "pill thing" ...calling a woman a plate is disrespectful. What are men "saucers" "teacups".. btw im a white pill.
I always assume unless we have had a discussion about being exclusive with each other that it's fair game so I can't really say anything if she is.
You are entitled to your beliefs - no differently than we are also entitled to our beliefs. If our use of slang bothers you, there's always loveshack. I believe I can speak for most when I say that we didn't join this site to make you feel good. We joined to help our fellow brothers.
I don't know brother. Women care about these type of things. And I have had women specifically say "oh don't worry about X I am not worried about it because I have to do Y anyway." And then get burned because I didn't do X. Maybe you are right but if you didn't do anything for Valentine's Day (especially if she thinks she is the ONLY woman you are seeing as you seem to think she does) I bet this rubbed her the wrong way after 5 months.
You have to decide what you are looking for. If she does mean something to you, then have that talk. Whats the worst that could happen, you think you'll push her away. You don't control that. If she cares or has an interest nothing would push her away. If she goes then she wasn't LTR as people say on here... material
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
It really is no more disrespectful than things women say on women's forums about men. They're just words -- slang as @Black Widow Void put it. You still haven't answered the question and that is fine. I am going to assume you are a woman because it makes a lot of sense. You are coming on here to "challenge" all of us on our views and lingo.
Okay "dainty teacup".. is it ok that i call you that? Teacup?
I'm a "cast iron frying pan" yeah that's my label
Uhhh......got it.
How long have you been seeing one another?
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
That's not a welcoming emoji.Uhhh......got it.
Not challenging, voicing an opinion like everyone else.
Almost 5 months.
I honestly don't think that is it.
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.