Avoiding Rejection

[bat soup]

I think avoiding rejection is one of the biggest things holding back most guys. Most girls are going to reject you, so inevitably taking rejections is part of the process of picking up girls. If you try to avoid rejection by being tentative, you just end up wasting your own time. You have to get to the point where you don't care and it doesn't affect you - you just move on and talk to the next chick.

 

[MatureDJ]

You need to spin new plates fast enough so that you consider any rejection to be less work you need to do.

 

[Georgepithyou]

Very true, we don't learn if we dont make mistakes. Most of us here got on the right path because of the initial rejection.

 

[AureliusMaximus]

Rejection (From girls or whatever; life is a game) is a game in itself, just like the game sales is:
You get cold call 10 people; five tell you to fu'ck off, three give you a maybe but don't take action, but the last two say yes and at the of the day you are still the one that is laughing all the bank to the bank.
So the rejections doesn't really matter after all..

So my attitude towards rejection is:

So keep trying and you will eventually get what you want...
The moment you are failing in life is the moment when you decide to give up.
You want to have as much rejection in your life as possible because that brings you close to you goals. Avoiding rejection however will make sure that you will always be where already are which highly likely is a place you do not want to be.

Three simple rules of life:

1. If you do not go after what yo want.
   You will never have it
   
   
2. If you do not ask,
   the answer will always be no.
   
   
3. If you do not step forward,
   You will always be in the same place.

So in other words: avoiding rejection is one of of the worst things you do to yourself.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I think avoiding rejection is one of the biggest things holding back most guys. Most girls are going to reject you, so inevitably taking rejections is part of the process of picking up girls. If you try to avoid rejection by being tentative, you just end up wasting your own time. You have to get to the point where you don't care and it doesn't affect you - you just move on and talk to the next chick.

With anything in life you have to fail to succeed. Unwillingness ti experience and learn from past failure simply prevents you from succeeding.

 

[TheNewStyle123]

I think avoiding rejection is one of the biggest things holding back most guys. Most girls are going to reject you, so inevitably taking rejections is part of the process of picking up girls. If you try to avoid rejection by being tentative, you just end up wasting your own time. You have to get to the point where you don't care and it doesn't affect you - you just move on and talk to the next chick.

So true man. Just separated from my wife a few months ago and have been taking advantage of OLD, but I am trying to break out and attempt more cold approaches. Went up to a girl in my gym last week. I could tell she was nervous to talk, and she ultimately ended up rejecting me ("I have a boyfriend"). But you can bet that won't stop me from continuing to try with other women, as well as continue to have a good rapport, smile, and chat to this girl in the gym now and then. Hey... you never know..

 

[RickTheToad]

Simple. Just don't ask.

 

[Glassguy]

Most girls are going to reject you

If MOST women are rejecting you, there is a problem.

I own a business. We both sell things and provide a service. People call all day asking about prices. I like to set my prices where I get 85-90% of those customers.

If I get less, there is a problem with either the price point or product for that price point. If I get 100%, my price point is to low and I can do better, so I simply increase the price points.

You should apply the same to dating. If you are getting rejected 90% of the time, you are either hitting up chicks way out of your league (consistently) or you need to do some serious work on yourself (frame, game, looks, social circles, etc).

On the flip side, if you are never getting rejected, its time to start hitting up hotter chicks.

 

[christie]

Rejection (From girls or whatever; life is a game) is a game in itself, just like the game sales is:
You get cold call 10 people; five tell you to fu'ck off, three give you a maybe but don't take action, but the last two say yes and at the of the day you are still the one that is laughing all the bank to the bank.
So the rejections doesn't really matter after all..

So my attitude towards rejection is:

So keep trying and you will eventually get what you want...
The moment you are failing in life is the moment when you decide to give up.
You want to have as much rejection in your life as possible because that brings you close to you goals. Avoiding rejection however will make sure that you will always be where already are which highly likely is a place you do not want to be.

Three simple rules of life:

1. If you do not go after what yo want.
   You will never have it
   
   
2. If you do not ask,
   the answer will always be no.
   
   
3. If you do not step forward,
   You will always be in the same place.

So in other words: avoiding rejection is one of of the worst things you do to yourself.

Thanks, this is valuable advice.

 

[christie]

Rejection isn't real. There is nothing to avoid.

I like this attitude, I've been thinking about it since the last time you wrote it.

 

[bat soup]

If MOST women are rejecting you, there is a problem.

I own a business. We both sell things and provide a service. People call all day asking about prices. I like to set my prices where I get 85-90% of those customers.

If I get less, there is a problem with either the price point or product for that price point. If I get 100%, my price point is to low and I can do better, so I simply increase the price points.

You should apply the same to dating. If you are getting rejected 90% of the time, you are either hitting up chicks way out of your league (consistently) or you need to do some serious work on yourself (frame, game, looks, social circles, etc).

On the flip side, if you are never getting rejected, its time to start hitting up hotter chicks.

You're talking about people that are already interested. If they're calling you up then they're mostly sold already.

How many girls call you up every day wanting to date you?

 

[christie]

Thank you. A wise Sosuaver passed it along to me. Happy to pay it forward.

At first I thought it was just an attitude, too. Or like, a front. Like, psh, whatever, bytch.

But as I absorbed it more I realized that whatever a girl's reasons, in a way they have nothing to do with me. Even if she thinks I'm hideous, lol. Her reasons have to do with her - where she is, what she wants, in that moment in time. It's as simple as that. On another day and time, it could be different. It may never be. It's all kind of irrelevant. She's not doing it to me, she's doing it for her...we should all be so true to ourselves. We had our moment in each other's orbit and that's cool.

That's solid that you're simply passing on someone else's advice.
It is so true that what someone else thinks about me is none of my business.
'Attitude' was the best word I came up with without referring to a thesaurus. I knew it might be wrong choice.

My Dad used to say that we can almost never pay back the person who helped us, that in the circle of life, we must help the next person in the circle. This was after I asked him how am I ever going to repay you after being prompted by something Laura Ingall's character expressed about paying her parents back for raising her in one of the books.




I remember at one point having a day like attackformation's day this week and being insanely frustrated at losing a friend to another school and growing apart.(felt like rejection)
My Dad liked to use the phrase, you two were "just two ships passing in the night, twinkling your lights at each other".
Your last sentence reminded me of this, samspade.

 

[Lookatu]

It's very important that you do these after every rejection or else you are going to just be a repetitive viscous cycle of rejection after rejection:

- Analyze
- Self reflect
- Heal and take time(if you have to)
- Improve(find out things you can change or do differently)

Both males and females sometimes don't do this and end up with the same results, only to turn bitter or go BMW(b1tch, moan, whine) about it.

-

 

[Glassguy]

You're talking about people that are already interested. If they're calling you up then they're mostly sold already.

How many girls call you up every day wanting to date you?

Straight single women are always looking......and even some in relationships. Men initiate and lead. Just because they dont call you up doesnt mean they are not interested.

And for the sake of cold approaching, you have no idea if they are interested or not. Which makes your statement null and void.

Always assume they are interested. Your approach IS you showing interest. Their response (reply to messaging, giving you their number, etc) gauges her interest.

And to answer your question- currently 4 women. Not necessarily calling but also texting.

 

[Kotaix]

Losers never fail.

 

[Jor-El]

So true man. Just separated from my wife a few months ago and have been taking advantage of OLD, but I am trying to break out and attempt more cold approaches. Went up to a girl in my gym last week. I could tell she was nervous to talk, and she ultimately ended up rejecting me ("I have a boyfriend"). But you can bet that won't stop me from continuing to try with other women, as well as continue to have a good rapport, smile, and chat to this girl in the gym now and then. Hey... you never know..

I keep seeing this OLD acronym..scuse my ignorance...but what does it mean ?

 

[Lookatu]

I keep seeing this OLD acronym..scuse my ignorance...but what does it mean ?

OLD = OnLine Dating

 

[Jor-El]

OLD = OnLine Dating

Cheers lookatu

 

[Robert28]

I think avoiding rejection is one of the biggest things holding back most guys. Most girls are going to reject you, so inevitably taking rejections is part of the process of picking up girls. If you try to avoid rejection by being tentative, you just end up wasting your own time. You have to get to the point where you don't care and it doesn't affect you - you just move on and talk to the next chick.

That’s not humanly normal though to not let rejection affect you. You can’t teach someone sociopathic traits if they aren’t a sociopath. That’s like saying death will not affect you if you’re around it enough. Rejection will always bother you, maybe you get to a point where you can bury it deep down but it’ll still bother you.

 

[bat soup]

That’s not humanly normal though to not let rejection affect you. You can’t teach someone sociopathic traits if they aren’t a sociopath. That’s like saying death will not affect you if you’re around it enough. Rejection will always bother you, maybe you get to a point where you can bury it deep down but it’ll still bother you.

It depends how you think about it. If you realise that it's just part of the process then you won't feel as bad as if you take it personally.

You could also look at it as a way of testing yourself and becoming stronger.