Male Friends

[Clamslammer]

That is because if the roles were reversed, you would choose to feel disrespected. That's your prerogative. Perhaps you fear it.

I operate on a plane of high value and abundance, and intuit these things better than most men. That is why I get compliance. Once you start issuing demands your frame slips. That's not to say you shouldn't be true to what's right for you. That means walk or don't. If she wants to fukk him she will, and then I will walk if I find out. It's because I have this mindset that there's nothing for me to worry about. (Yes she came here once and I went over there once.) She can fukk any guy she wants, but I don't have to keep her around.

Your way of thinking applies when you are dating her, when you are in a relationship with the girl things change and respect is number 1 and my way of thinking ahould take over.

 

[rart]

Bottom line is OP is starved for p$%y. We all been there. I have been there in exact same situation. I agree with the OP that it will be a waste to let this perfectly good plate go.

If you OP can manage to grow a thicker skin toward this one, you can successfully spin her. Moreover, her interest in you will definitely increase.

Now, from my experience, after a divorce and a long dry spell, he is likely to catch deeper fillings. The only way to get this working is dating some new women.

 

[derby1]

mainly as I have no other options

she knows your human resources department is CLOSED.

Time to watch every Patrice O Neal video there is on the YT

 

[B80]

I think this roller coaster is about to end... and I feel relieved. Shame to lose an attractive girl, but I've really lost the plot recently. Smokimg 30 cigarettes, drinking more and more. Pathetic, but no coincidence.

Sent a couple of texts last night, which I deleted. Seems to have tipped her over the edge as she's been texting today, minus the kisses. She kept asking what they said, I can't recall nothing offensive, then she started saying she doesn't care what they said in the grand scheme of things... I read that as meaning its over, so doesn't matter, going by her general tone.

Feel relieved already, as like I mentioned earlier feel cold towards her and that's probably been noted in my general tone. waiting for the hammer blow now.

 

[Bigpapa]

She kept asking what they said, I can't recall nothing offensive, then she started saying she doesn't care what they said in the grand scheme of things... I read that as meaning its over, so doesn't matter, going by her general tone.

she is playing this card because she is certain that she has you by the balls

do not feel bad about it though , this is how you learn

more or less you were out of the game for 15 years . It takes a while to get back in the game

 

[Çharismo]

Here’s the problem with OP laying down the law: 1. She’ll turn into victim and accuse him of being a paranoid control freak (OK when the boot is on the other foot — the boot that stomps on his nuts) 2. She’ll go cry to her guy friend/s, and turn them into her flying monkeys 3. It will make OP look weak. 4. She’ll say ‘Fvck you! No mayyyn tells me what do’ and end it.

This is why, if he does end it, he just blocks / ghosts her on everything because it will make her feel totally devalued that he didn’t care about the r/s, and that’s she’s not even worthy of an explanation.

A girl I was seeing for a few months... we were having phone conversation, she thought everything was going just fine, but, out of nowhere, I hung up on her and blocked her. She went fvcking ballistic, and was banging my door down for days, and was in floods of tears for weeks.

You see, a few weeks earlier we were both out at a club, I was getting drinks at bar, when she suddenly began sexually cavorting with two guys in dance floor. The other two guys found out we were a couple, and began apologising to me. I kept my cool, but that could have so easily turned into a fight. I didn’t forget her for that stunt so waited for the dust to settle, and stung her good n hard.

You know I el-oh-eld at this because I’ve done something very similar to disrespectful women. The more attractive a woman is, the more attention she gets from guys, the more she gets her way with men majority of the time the more unstable they get. I’ve had women threaten to cut my d!ck off, leave me threatening voicemails saying they are going to kill me, threaten to blow up my car, get there ex’s to call me and threaten me,throw there pu$$y at me and whole lot of other crap. It really messes them up.

I had one woman show up at my door at 3 in the morning completely naked saying

“...please just f@ck me...”
“...just put your d!ck inside me...” and try reaching for my d!ck. I told her I had work the next day and if she doesn’t leave I’ll call the cops and slammed the door in her face.

The point that I’m trying to make is that cutting women off abruptly and disrespecting them like that really does mess them up.

Keep the pimp hand strong!!!

Playa to playa ...pimp to pimp!!!

 

[Jor-El]

I always like this saying "If you put her on a pedestal,she has no option but to look down on you" Its true

 

[derby1]

more or less you were out of the game for 15 years . It takes a while to get back in the game

yes its changed drastically, women generally think men are pathetic......

I remember calling my daughters mom out recently.

you could tell by her breakdancing fit on the floor, not one male had called her out in the last decade since our split

 

[AlphaDraconis]

You know I el-oh-eld at this because I’ve done something very similar to disrespectful women. The more attractive a woman is, the more attention she gets from guys, the more she gets her way with men majority of the time the more unstable they get. I’ve had women threaten to cut my d!ck off, leave me threatening voicemails saying they are going to kill me, threaten to blow up my car, get there ex’s to call me and threaten me,throw there pu$$y at me and whole lot of other crap. It really messes them up.

I had one woman show up at my door at 3 in the morning completely naked saying

“...please just f@ck me...”
“...just put your d!ck inside me...” and try reaching for my d!ck. I told her I had work the next day and if she doesn’t leave I’ll call the cops and slammed the door in her face.

The point that I’m trying to make is that cutting women off abruptly and disrespecting them like that really does mess them up.

Keep the pimp hand strong!!!

Playa to playa ...pimp to pimp!!!

This is why I think OP should have taken this route because not only would it cause her to lose her sh1t - begging, crying, etc, he’d be in a position to then calmly tell her that the whole close male friend thing ain’t for him. I can guarantee - while she’s so vulnerable - she’d get rid of them on the spot. However, that would only be temporary until she has OP wrapped around her finger again. That’s why a guy must be ready to unexpectedly disappear at the drop of a hat - if he wants her to behave.

 

[Bigpapa]

This is why I think OP should have taken this route because not only would it cause her to lose her sh1t - begging, crying, etc, he’d be in a position to then calmly tell her that the whole close male friend thing ain’t for him. I can guarantee - while she’s so vulnerable - she’d get rid of them on the spot. However, that would only be temporary until she has OP wrapped around her finger again. That’s why a guy must be ready to unexpectedly disappear at the drop of a hat - if he wants her to behave.

Look mate , do not get me wrong , but it is childish to take your toys and leave because you do not like something , especially if you are already seeing the girl for a while

and the motivation it is childish . You do not leave because you do not like it , you leave because you want to hurt her

this is how kids act

 

[Bigpapa]

yes its changed drastically, women generally think men are pathetic......

I remember calling my daughters mom out recently.

you could tell by her breakdancing fit on the floor, not one male had called her out in the last decade since our split

yeah ,it is very unlikely that a guy and a girl are so close and are just platonic friends , especially since that guy has a gf already

dunno , but sounds unlikely that the gf of the guy would accept in a Sunday night her bf to go and watch a movie with another woman alone , no matter how much a puss1 she thinks he is

 

[AlphaDraconis]

Look mate , do not get me wrong , but it is childish to take your toys and leave because you do not like something , especially if you are already seeing the girl for a while

and the motivation it is childish . You do not leave because you do not like it , you leave because you want to hurt her

this is how kids act

Well, look at from this perspective. She is 110% aware that she’s mind fvcking the OP, and has been doing it from the start. A conscientious person wouldn’t be subjecting someone to such emotional torment. I know, that if I was in an r/s, and had a close female friend around me all the time, netflixing and chilling, that it’s just wrong on every level, so I just wouldn’t do it.

Just because she’s female, doesn’t mean she should be treated with kid gloves, and subsequently a hall pass to abuse. B1tches like this could drive a guy to suicide, and they’d gleefully move on with life like nothing happened.

She’s set him up for a catch 22 - if he says something, she reverts to victim, and accuses him of being a paranoid control freak; if he says nothing, she sees him as a chump with idiot tattooed on his forehead. See how that works? That’s why the only viable solution to any of this, is to just walk away — no explanation given.

This isn’t a relationship, it’s psychological warfare being waged upon the OP, but he’s gradually smartened up to what’s happening to him, now it’s time to break free from the spider’s web before he ends up a drained husk of his former self.

She deserves zero respect, and deserves no more of his valuable time. It’s time to pull the rip cord ASAP.

 

[B80]

yeah ,it is very unlikely that a guy and a girl are so close and are just platonic friends , especially since that guy has a gf already

dunno , but sounds unlikely that the gf of the guy would accept in a Sunday night her bf to go and watch a movie with another woman alone , no matter how much a puss1 she thinks he is

Yeah he could have lied where he's going I guess.

Anyway, I jokingly mentioned how her kisses were missing and she's perked up again. Loads of kisses, emojis, exclamation marks. Non stop texting, back to her usual self. Crazy. ****ing insane.

 

[B80]

Well, look at from this perspective. She is 110% aware that she’s mind fvcking the OP, and has been doing it from the start. A conscientious person wouldn’t be subjecting someone to such emotional torment. I know, that if I was in an r/s, and had a close female friend around me all the time, netflixing and chilling, that it’s just wrong on every level, so I just wouldn’t do it.

Just because she’s female, doesn’t mean she should be treated with kid gloves, and subsequently a hall pass to abuse. B1tches like this could drive a guy to suicide, and they’d gleefully move on with life like nothing happened.

She’s set him up for a catch 22 - if he says something, she reverts to victim, and accuses him of being a paranoid control freak; if he says nothing, she sees him as a chump with idiot tattooed on his forehead. See how that works? That’s why the only viable solution to any of this, is to just walk away — no explanation given.

This isn’t a relationship, it’s psychological warfare being waged upon the OP, but he’s gradually smartened up to what’s happening to him, now it’s time to break free from the spider’s web before he ends up a drained husk of his former self.

She deserves zero respect, and deserves no more of his valuable time. It’s time to pull the rip cord ASAP.

I'm thinking you're right, wondering if I'm dealing with someone with proper mental issues. What with climbing management ladder so quickly, general dislike of kids, not close to her own.

 

[metalwater]

I think this roller coaster is about to end... and I feel relieved. Shame to lose an attractive girl, but I've really lost the plot recently. Smokimg 30 cigarettes, drinking more and more. Pathetic, but no coincidence.

Sent a couple of texts last night, which I deleted. Seems to have tipped her over the edge as she's been texting today, minus the kisses. She kept asking what they said, I can't recall nothing offensive, then she started saying she doesn't care what they said in the grand scheme of things... I read that as meaning its over, so doesn't matter, going by her general tone.

Feel relieved already, as like I mentioned earlier feel cold towards her and that's probably been noted in my general tone. waiting for the hammer blow now.

turning point. what do you do. things can be much better.

only need two things from what you have shared.

Girl im seeing has a big social circle, including male friends.


One of them crops up a fair bit. Has a decent career, not a bad looking chap.

Feel relieved already, as like I mentioned earlier feel cold towards her

This is a common turn of events. If she was telling the story it would sound different. She would be telling how you are becoming insecure and that you're not as terrific as she thought. The truth is that she is causing your feelings and treating you like a plate.

This will never work out in a way that will be satisfying for you. You might be able to force her to behave how you wish, but she wants to behave how she wants to do. What you want to be satisfied is a woman that wants to please you AND desires your attention more than from any other man.

Find other women, in your groups, or her groups, OLD, anyplace. start chatting with them; about anything. any additional feminine energy into your life. it will trigger you inside to be stronger. of course don't simp to any of them, just get to know them more.

 

[metalwater]

I'm thinking you're right, wondering if I'm dealing with someone with proper mental issues. What with climbing management ladder so quickly, general dislike of kids, not close to her own.

low interest from a woman looks exactly like NPD in a woman. the solution however is exactly the same.

 

[DSterlen]

Yeah he could have lied where he's going I guess.

Anyway, I jokingly mentioned how her kisses were missing and she's perked up again. Loads of kisses, emojis, exclamation marks. Non stop texting, back to her usual self. Crazy. ****ing insane.

I'm telling ya man, when you see her texting/talking to one of them
You: Who's that?
Her: It's just Dave
You: Oh, bachelor number two! He's so nice! I love Dave
Her: (whatever)
You: You're right, maybe Tom should be number two and Dave should be Bachelor number one. Who's number three, Steve maybe?

Don't make a big deal out of it. Make it fun. Don't push the act too far.

You're already basically going to bail anyway. See what happens.

 

[B80]

I'm telling ya man, when you see her texting/talking to one of them
You: Who's that?
Her: It's just Dave
You: Oh, bachelor number two! He's so nice! I love Dave
Her: (whatever)
You: You're right, maybe Tom should be number two and Dave should be Bachelor number one. Who's number three, Steve maybe?

Don't make a big deal out of it. Make it fun. Don't push the act too far.

You're already basically going to bail anyway. See what happens.

This sounds interesting. Will give it a go and report back.

 

[Bigpapa]

Well, look at from this perspective. She is 110% aware that she’s mind fvcking the OP, and has been doing it from the start. A conscientious person wouldn’t be subjecting someone to such emotional torment. I know, that if I was in an r/s, and had a close female friend around me all the time, netflixing and chilling, that it’s just wrong on every level, so I just wouldn’t do it.

Just because she’s female, doesn’t mean she should be treated with kid gloves, and subsequently a hall pass to abuse. B1tches like this could drive a guy to suicide, and they’d gleefully move on with life like nothing happened.

She’s set him up for a catch 22 - if he says something, she reverts to victim, and accuses him of being a paranoid control freak; if he says nothing, she sees him as a chump with idiot tattooed on his forehead. See how that works? That’s why the only viable solution to any of this, is to just walk away — no explanation given.

This isn’t a relationship, it’s psychological warfare being waged upon the OP, but he’s gradually smartened up to what’s happening to him, now it’s time to break free from the spider’s web before he ends up a drained husk of his former self.

She deserves zero respect, and deserves no more of his valuable time. It’s time to pull the rip cord ASAP.

I am not saying that you are not right in what you are saying , just that the op should have left for a long time by now

Pulling one of this now , will not make him save face . If he stayed till here , he has to man up and say that her relationship with the other guy is odly close , and that maybe it is too soon to be exclusive

by doing this , he will man up and revert the exclusivity frame that she came with , and if she starts to make drama to leave

takes more balls to reject her exclusivity frame that she imposed , than just disappear , as she knows exactly why he would just disappear

a strong guy tries to impose the frame that benefits him the most , which in this case is reverting back to fwb

 

[AlphaDraconis]

Yeah he could have lied where he's going I guess.

Anyway, I jokingly mentioned how her kisses were missing and she's perked up again. Loads of kisses, emojis, exclamation marks. Non stop texting, back to her usual self. Crazy. ****ing insane.

Ah, man you’re a total simp being played so hard. This is called ‘fractionation’, and typical mind fvck technique of a narcissist. First they subject you to lots of love bombing, then cloak and dagger psychological abuse. Wash, rinse, repeat.

As you’ve been experiencing lots of psychological torment (starved of her love), she then starts love bombing you again (all the kisses and emojis etc). Now, in your head you’re thinking, ‘Oh I think I’m just overreacting, she loves me really’. This is also known as gaslighting where you think you’re just imagining things, but constantly questioning yourself.

But watch what happens in a day or so... just as you think the dust has settled, cloak and dagger attacks will resume, then you’ll be feeling all fvcked up again, until you eventually lose your sanity some months down the line.

You’re already smoking / drinking heavily, right? That’s exactly why.