Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Looks matter, a lot.

bat soup

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 10, 2020
Messages
4,293
Reaction score
4,811
Age
44
Let's say a woman has a choice of two equally good looking men. One has a job and the other doesn't.

Who do you think she is going to pick?

These days being good looking just isn't enough. You need a lot more to maintain a relationship with good quality women.
She's going to pick the one with the biggest koch.
 

Lookatu

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 26, 2017
Messages
3,138
Reaction score
3,960
Age
51
This is generally true. But I know many couples in that age bracket where the guy is unemployed, and the woman is supporting him. These are guys who tend to have long term problems, a history of being unable to get their sh!t together. Some woman have some kind of caretaker syndrome, maybe they like to feel needed. These aren't ugly women either. They may complain about the guy, but they haven't broken away from them. They very well may at some point.
There are these types for sure.

One thing that hasn't been addressed is how much a girl will bend the rules depending on your looks.

Looks can get you in the door but looks can also make the gals make exceptions(break her rules) for you that she normally wouldn't for others.

I've personally had experience with this as well has heard countless stories from girls about this scenario.

So yes besides someone naturally having a "caretaker" syndrome, there are situations where a girl will make an exception for someone that looks good as well.
 

OldComeBacker

Don Juan
Joined
Nov 21, 2020
Messages
82
Reaction score
100
Age
44
I don't think anyone here is trying to say looks don't matter. That's acknowledged. But you have people with an extreme "black pill" mindset that basically any guy who isn't an international top male model in looks is doomed to inceldom. And that's really stupid and unhealthy.

TBH, I've been approached by women more when I was on the fatter side. No, I don't think it has anything to do with the false idea of "dad bods being hot" or anything like that. I think that my overall vibe which includes but is not limited to objective physical looks was more attractive. At my most ripped and handsome I was completely alone if I didn't actively try with women.

I know a guy who was always chubby and had 1 GF and then went without for years. He hit the gym and then had a very intense sexual relationship with a mutual acquaintance of ours. He thought that he was a "sex god" who ruined her for future men and that he could now get any women he wanted. His expectations of being a player went unfulfilled and he entered a relationship with another mutual friend. She cheated and left him for a softer, cuddlier (though not "nice"/simp) dude. So the sex god hit the gym some more, and everyone knows him as that guy who is always working out and being intense and so on. He has delts, abs, strong jaw, etc. The last I heard he never gets off track with the gym but he's lonely and complains about "being rejected for dad bods" and how he can't believe he "works so hard to look this good, only for women to choose lazy ugly guys." I don't even think he approaches these women. He does thing of just being there and expecting women to approach him and then when they don't he gets upset and claims to be rejected because they went with some other dude who actually approached and didn't just (in the words of another friend) "stand there and flex and stare at women." It's like when incels claim they are "cucked" by guys when women who don't even know they exist get a BF.
 

In2theGame

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 17, 2005
Messages
2,197
Reaction score
1,145
Age
41
Location
New York City
A lot of guys don't factor in the opposite side of Good looking Men. I have enjoyed tons of Women who thought I was flat out "sexy as hell" or on some occasions called me "gorgeous". Did it stroke my ego and made me extremely confident in my interactions with Women? yes. Did I feel a sense of sexual "power" as I walked into a bar/party/social gathering and have a table of Women all turn their heads smiling? Yes!. .....Was it always smooth sailing? No. It's not so black and white.

There are some very attractive Women or even some cute Women who you will find very sexually attractive (They have high sex appeal) and they will not entertain having sex with you or getting involved with you because of multiple factors such as her viewing you as a "Player", "Fvckboy", "Arrogant guy", "Guy that probably has STD's" "Already has a lot of Women" etc. There are A LOT of assumptions about very good looking Men. You will also find that you do best with the most sassy confident Women but these types can be a pain in the ass. Passive aggressiveness and insecurity.

There's also jealousy from both Men AND Women. Being a good looking Man is great but it does have it's drawbacks.
 

Lookatu

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 26, 2017
Messages
3,138
Reaction score
3,960
Age
51
There are some very attractive Women or even some cute Women who you will find very sexually attractive (They have high sex appeal) and they will not entertain having sex with you or getting involved with you because of multiple factors such as her viewing you as a "Player",
I get this alot. Some women have straight up told me this. Sometimes I can close regardless and other times I can't because they can't get over this perception of me.

One girl I used to go out with a couple years ago but ended things on good terms recently tried to set me up with a girl she knew. She told me her friend didn't want to go out with me because I looked like a "player". LOL
 

darksprezzatura

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 22, 2017
Messages
1,367
Reaction score
1,747
My fitness matters to me.

I want a low enough body fat percent to see shredded 8 pack.

Not with down lighting, but normally.

I want to admire those muscles in my body.

I wanna flex and look like a greek god

I like being clean and hygienic.

I trim my hair, I apply lotion and oil and keep myself groomed.

I like looking the best I can.

I eat great food, the best nutrition money can afford.

They matter to me BUT fvck what women prefer.
 

In2theGame

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 17, 2005
Messages
2,197
Reaction score
1,145
Age
41
Location
New York City
I get this alot. Some women have straight up told me this. Sometimes I can close regardless and other times I can't because they can't get over this perception of me.

One girl I used to go out with a couple years ago but ended things on good terms recently tried to set me up with a girl she knew. She told me her friend didn't want to go out with me because I looked like a "player". LOL
Haha for sure man, this sh!t happens. When a girl says this it's code for "I want him to be all about me but he probably has so many options that I'm just another girl is his world"
 

corrector

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 12, 2009
Messages
9,036
Reaction score
3,447
I don't think anyone here is trying to say looks don't matter. That's acknowledged. But you have people with an extreme "black pill" mindset that basically any guy who isn't an international top male model in looks is doomed to inceldom. And that's really stupid and unhealthy.
I think that blackpill idea of an international top male model is mainly when dealing with online platforms and how much traction you get on there. However, I don't think its as extreme as you are portraying it to be. I think the idea is if you are less than a 7 in looks or an ethnic looking guy that you'll generally have a difficult time with online dating. Other posters on here like @LARaiders85 have said you need to be a 9 + to succeed with online dating.

Can you quote any member on here, who is average looks, who is succeeding with online dating right now?

I've noted @EyeBRollin is Black and short and bald and is succeeding with meeting women online, but not too frequently. I'll throw that in because I'm keeping tabs. Do you know anyone else to add to that?
 

Hamurabimbi

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 4, 2018
Messages
3,118
Reaction score
2,559
Location
California
I think that blackpill idea of an international top male model is mainly when dealing with online platforms and how much traction you get on there. However, I don't think its as extreme as you are portraying it to be. I think the idea is if you are less than a 7 in looks or an ethnic looking guy that you'll generally have a difficult time with online dating. Other posters on here like @LARaiders85 have said you need to be a 9 + to succeed with online dating.

Can you quote any member on here, who is average looks, who is succeeding with online dating right now?

I've noted @EyeBRollin is Black and short and bald and is succeeding with meeting women online, but not too frequently. I'll throw that in because I'm keeping tabs. Do you know anyone else to add to that?
8+.
 

Focal core

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 21, 2017
Messages
1,537
Reaction score
1,202
Age
43
Quite a number of times i was asked by girl, why i dont have a girlfriend.. I simply say i want to have a goodtime on my own, genuinely yes i did enjoying my freedom right now,

most of the times i was being on false accusation of being a player because of history of women im being with honestly quite a numbers that i dont remember lol..

Then they just backoff afraid of being in too deep without committing, with im comfortable with being just a friend.

That just as well being a drawback of having athletic, 6ft good looking guy.. Im so fvckingly in disbelief.. :D
 

characternote

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 31, 2018
Messages
849
Reaction score
1,017
That’s a very superficial and temporary statement from her. Should have been along the lines of ‘because of the man you are’, or something about how you make her feel…
it's the same for both sexes.
When I hook up with a girl, it's because I like her body and face. Not because of the 'woman she is' and how shes makes me feel.
It's exactly the same for girls (which really should be obvious). She just wants to bang a hot guy. (talking about young girls. Not sugar babies and not older women who care more about how 'accomplished' you are)

If we're talking about getting sex with hot young girls (which most on this site are) then it's all about looks i'm afraid




“Looks ONLY get you in the door.”*

But you must first get in the door, or it’s over for portalcels.

*I never understood this argument.
lol, I never understand this either! You hear it on reddit all the time ''Looks aren't important man, they only get you through the door'

That admission makes looks seem VERY important to me! If you get the door closed in your face, you never got off the starting block and have exactly zero chance haha
 
Last edited:

Pandora

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 11, 2008
Messages
3,207
Reaction score
3,112
Age
38
Looks always subjective to every other women you met. But you may not be denied that the standard of looks never differentiate that much for every women.
Gold! I have also noticed this paradox. Looks are very subjective to women, but yet objective. Women are very idiosyncratic about the guys they find attractive yet there is still a universal standard. Weird huh
 

samspade

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 5, 2008
Messages
7,996
Reaction score
5,054
Gold! I have also noticed this paradox. Looks are very subjective to women, but yet objective. Women are very idiosyncratic about the guys they find attractive yet there is still a universal standard. Weird huh
I think this is because most women aren't constantly being approached by their physical male ideal. They can send all the "signals" they want but they can't choose who hits on them. And as long as the guy meets a certain attractiveness threshold, she will show great latitude in her preferences - especially because she will also find his actions attractive if he does it right.

The corollary is you as a guy can approach any woman you want and take your shot. You should work on your appearance but always assume attraction; you never know.

So a guy could be 500 lbs, but exude an alpha personality, and women would flock to him?
Let's hope so for his sake, since he probably can't get out of bed.
 

BeExcellent

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 16, 2015
Messages
4,614
Reaction score
6,452
Age
55
as a woman, how do you feel about a young dude in his 20s who is well accomplished, good looking, smart, fit as ****, and as mature as a well developed 40 year old? I want to know how big of an advantage i have over dudes my age ;)
All depends on the woman but I’d say it’s a big advantage if you have your shjt together head and shoulders above your peers in your 20s. It should help you attract objectively better quality women. Just don’t be entirely arrogant about it. Confidence is good, arrogance is try hard.

As for me personally I don’t give men younger than 40 the time of day really beyond being friends. Not because the men don’t make overtures but because I’ve no interest in getting involved with someone substantially younger, lol. I’ll keep the older playboys thank you very much lmao.
 

Focal core

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 21, 2017
Messages
1,537
Reaction score
1,202
Age
43
Gold! I have also noticed this paradox. Looks are very subjective to women, but yet objective. Women are very idiosyncratic about the guys they find attractive yet there is still a universal standard. Weird huh
Coming From vast of my dating experience and observer of dating market, looks always trumps deep pockets anyday. Its going like this in order. Its primal even for men.

1. Height ~an entfy level of qualitfication.. this is a qualifier.
2. Fitness ~ an added advantages.
3. Face ~ need i say more? Good jawline, hair, hunter eye.. This Plus all 2 above Its a god mode in dating. You may lose but you will rise again in no time.

Life isnt fair..
 

Focal core

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 21, 2017
Messages
1,537
Reaction score
1,202
Age
43
I wouldnt mind, but then I see some of the guys they've given P sleeve to, and they're far from chads, with no game whatsoever.
True.. Not denying its a fact that admiration and respect plays big role, for most of girl sadly it isnt.. Entitled to simp provision have rise standard of our species (man) to force an absurd level of perfectionist in women.

It isnt chad to blame really.. Its the simps.
 

Hamurabimbi

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 4, 2018
Messages
3,118
Reaction score
2,559
Location
California
Coming From vast of my dating experience and observer of dating market, looks always trumps deep pockets anyday. Its going like this in order. Its primal even for men.

1. Height ~an entfy level of qualitfication.. this is a qualifier.
2. Fitness ~ an added advantages.
3. Face ~ need i say more? Good jawline, hair, hunter eye.. This Plus all 2 above Its a god mode in dating. You may lose but you will rise again in no time.

Life isnt fair..
Face>Height. Otherwise I’d be a virgin.
 
Top