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It’s worse when women cheat

metalwater

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From one of the articles posted.

Read and re-read.

Hypergamy in a nutshell


I feel so guilty for leaving my marriage. My husband is a really, really nice guy. He is a great dad, loves me a lot, has a good career. There was nothing really wrong with our marriage. I just didn't love him any more and wanted out.

Now, our divorce is almost finalized, and we have all been so devastated — especially our kids. Now they have to schlep back and forth between two homes, go through the pain of having divorced parents, my ex is devastated, his parents and our friends are devastated, and we are both poorer having to support two homes. Even the dog looses since she stayed with me and misses her ‘dad'!

Of course I am very sad about all of this, but I just could not be married to him any more. We are not intellectual or professional peers — I am growing a digital business I am passionate about, while he is 100% content in his middle-management corporate job with good benefits.

I stopped being sexually attracted to him years ago, even though he is still a very handsome and fit man. Instead, I find myself fantasizing about and/or flirting with men in my professional circles who are mentally stimulating to me, understand my career and creative drive and ignite in me something I think I never experienced with my husband — deep, feminine PASSION (some of these guys are fat or old or not handsome — and I still find them so, so sexy!). These are men who jibe with my own growing social circle of equally driven and creative people — people who my husband never really connected with or felt comfortable around (even though, in all his decency and devotion to me, was always kind to and made an effort for).

I don't have any commitment to any of these men, but simply feeling that way around them made me realize that by staying in my marriage. I am missing out on something I deeply crave and long to nurture. Now, on the other side of my marriage, I see that I may not ever find that kind of romantic connection that I crave, and I may be lonely. I see those I love most suffering because of this decision, and I am left feeling selfish, guilty and all-around rotten.

In short: I wanted the divorce — so why do I feel so sad?

This is the side of women I have come to unwillingly learn. Many have no loyalty and jump ship in an effort to better themselves, REGARDLESS OF THE EMOTIONAL COST AND DEVASTAITON THEY CAUSE TO THEIR KIDS AND HUSBANDS. THIS WOMAN HAD A GOOD MAN - AND LOOK HOW SHE TREATED HIM. Look at what she has done to her children.

Selfish, bordering on evil. This is the kind of woman, that when she realizes the grass is not greener, may try and come back. I wish her nothing but failure the rest of her days.
this is exactly the example of why it is better to not have a wife that works. earn enough ourselves to support the family. do not need stuff so badly that she also needs to work. I mean, who is going to take care of kids anyway... day care...

8 hours a day chatting up some guy every day for weeks, months, years will lead to attraction almost every time. Of course, we can just not care IDGAF, and then next her when she gets with the work guy.
 

mrgoodstuff

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From one of the articles posted.

Read and re-read.

Hypergamy in a nutshell


I feel so guilty for leaving my marriage. My husband is a really, really nice guy. He is a great dad, loves me a lot, has a good career. There was nothing really wrong with our marriage. I just didn't love him any more and wanted out.

Now, our divorce is almost finalized, and we have all been so devastated — especially our kids. Now they have to schlep back and forth between two homes, go through the pain of having divorced parents, my ex is devastated, his parents and our friends are devastated, and we are both poorer having to support two homes. Even the dog looses since she stayed with me and misses her ‘dad'!

Of course I am very sad about all of this, but I just could not be married to him any more. We are not intellectual or professional peers — I am growing a digital business I am passionate about, while he is 100% content in his middle-management corporate job with good benefits.

I stopped being sexually attracted to him years ago, even though he is still a very handsome and fit man. Instead, I find myself fantasizing about and/or flirting with men in my professional circles who are mentally stimulating to me, understand my career and creative drive and ignite in me something I think I never experienced with my husband — deep, feminine PASSION (some of these guys are fat or old or not handsome — and I still find them so, so sexy!). These are men who jibe with my own growing social circle of equally driven and creative people — people who my husband never really connected with or felt comfortable around (even though, in all his decency and devotion to me, was always kind to and made an effort for).

I don't have any commitment to any of these men, but simply feeling that way around them made me realize that by staying in my marriage. I am missing out on something I deeply crave and long to nurture. Now, on the other side of my marriage, I see that I may not ever find that kind of romantic connection that I crave, and I may be lonely. I see those I love most suffering because of this decision, and I am left feeling selfish, guilty and all-around rotten.

In short: I wanted the divorce — so why do I feel so sad?

This is the side of women I have come to unwillingly learn. Many have no loyalty and jump ship in an effort to better themselves, REGARDLESS OF THE EMOTIONAL COST AND DEVASTAITON THEY CAUSE TO THEIR KIDS AND HUSBANDS. THIS WOMAN HAD A GOOD MAN - AND LOOK HOW SHE TREATED HIM. Look at what she has done to her children.

Selfish, bordering on evil. This is the kind of woman, that when she realizes the grass is not greener, may try and come back. I wish her nothing but failure the rest of her days.
Very good illustration of "relatability", she even thinks fat guys who relate on her career are Sexier than her fit husband. When she makes her rounds after she's husband-less she will realize her imagination played her and those guys where no big deal. She was in love with herself and her career was a top priority. And she could see herself and her goals within those other men in the same profession.
 
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justhe_justin

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Take a look on google a scholar for better content. Not silly blogs.
Just looked into more 'scholarly' sources and you are in-fact correct. By and large it's found as recently as 2018 by the CDC that men to cheat more than women.

It seems to be a shifting dynamic now were woman are only beginning to cheat more. It was found for my age group 18-29 where women cheating 1% more than men. While this is relevant for me (I'm age 29 and date younger women) it does not apply to most people in this forum. However I do believe this trend will continue to grow along with declining marriage rates and increasing divorce rates. I'm the type of guy to look to horizon and what I see is the behavior in young women getting worse in terms of fidelity and unhinged hypergamy.

Like I said earlier in this post, ideally I would like to get married and have a family but the way the dating pool is right now it is not a logic move.
 

flowtheory

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From one of the articles posted.

Read and re-read.

Hypergamy in a nutshell


I feel so guilty for leaving my marriage. My husband is a really, really nice guy. He is a great dad, loves me a lot, has a good career. There was nothing really wrong with our marriage. I just didn't love him any more and wanted out.

Now, our divorce is almost finalized, and we have all been so devastated — especially our kids. Now they have to schlep back and forth between two homes, go through the pain of having divorced parents, my ex is devastated, his parents and our friends are devastated, and we are both poorer having to support two homes. Even the dog looses since she stayed with me and misses her ‘dad'!

Of course I am very sad about all of this, but I just could not be married to him any more. We are not intellectual or professional peers — I am growing a digital business I am passionate about, while he is 100% content in his middle-management corporate job with good benefits.

I stopped being sexually attracted to him years ago, even though he is still a very handsome and fit man. Instead, I find myself fantasizing about and/or flirting with men in my professional circles who are mentally stimulating to me, understand my career and creative drive and ignite in me something I think I never experienced with my husband — deep, feminine PASSION (some of these guys are fat or old or not handsome — and I still find them so, so sexy!). These are men who jibe with my own growing social circle of equally driven and creative people — people who my husband never really connected with or felt comfortable around (even though, in all his decency and devotion to me, was always kind to and made an effort for).

I don't have any commitment to any of these men, but simply feeling that way around them made me realize that by staying in my marriage. I am missing out on something I deeply crave and long to nurture. Now, on the other side of my marriage, I see that I may not ever find that kind of romantic connection that I crave, and I may be lonely. I see those I love most suffering because of this decision, and I am left feeling selfish, guilty and all-around rotten.

In short: I wanted the divorce — so why do I feel so sad?

This is the side of women I have come to unwillingly learn. Many have no loyalty and jump ship in an effort to better themselves, REGARDLESS OF THE EMOTIONAL COST AND DEVASTAITON THEY CAUSE TO THEIR KIDS AND HUSBANDS. THIS WOMAN HAD A GOOD MAN - AND LOOK HOW SHE TREATED HIM. Look at what she has done to her children.

Selfish, bordering on evil. This is the kind of woman, that when she realizes the grass is not greener, may try and come back. I wish her nothing but failure the rest of her days.
Sounds like they were incompatible for years and years. She knew this. Probably expressed. Multiple hundreds of times and they worked through it.

Some women want ALL cylinders firing in their relationship. And they truly believe they will be able to find that in one individual.

There’s a lot of things we don’t know about the above story, but it sounds like her nice guy husband was just that.. a nice guy beta provider husband.
And she was and probably always has been after a man who was oozing passion for his endeavours. But she probably felt secure enough with him at a time in her life.
Ultimately? She doesn’t want some guy who she can bring to work functions and understand her realm and rub elbows.. nah, she wants someone who she can show off and be in the moment with. Who oozes creativity and drive separate from her. Notice how she uses the words passion, creativity, drive?
She lost sexual appeal to him not for the fact he’s in attractive. But precisely because of The lack of passion he never explored.

Relationships need a lot of work. But importantly, they need the right two people to work. She or he isn’t bad. They were probably just an incorrect fit for their greatest long-term pursuits. And they probably both knew that. But continued to keep going despite the flags and foghorns.

Good post. And hypergamy is real. Women want the best and they want a man who can cultivate passion through his own endeavours. And she really just wants to live life alongside someone who she can live vicariously through. But not because of his wealth or fame. But because that’s just 1000 times more exciting than the predictable corporate humdrum existence.

Women want to see the world through a mans eyes. Just like they want us to see theirs. But if all they see is a couch dwelling dude with predictable patterns working for the big man.. of course she will be bored.
 

mrgoodstuff

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Just looked into more 'scholarly' sources and you are in-fact correct. By and large it's found as recently as 2018 by the CDC that men to cheat more than women.

It seems to be a shifting dynamic now were woman are only beginning to cheat more. It was found for my age group 18-29 where women cheating 1% more than men. While this is relevant for me (I'm age 29 and date younger women) it does not apply to most people in this forum. However I do believe this trend will continue to grow along with declining marriage rates and increasing divorce rates. I'm the type of guy to look to horizon and what I see is the behavior in young women getting worse in terms of fidelity and unhinged hypergamy.

Like I said earlier in this post, ideally I would like to get married and have a family but the way the dating pool is right now it is not a logic move.
Get her young. She would ideally
We used to cook together most times...I love cooking. But she was always making sure she had things at the house I liked and would always ask if I wanted her to make me anything or get me anything...

She was awesome...I fvcked that up. Live and learn.
How did you fvck it up? You know we get cynical around here so it'll lead you to believe you can never again have it all.
 

DEEZEDBRAH

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Men cheat out of necessity to combat wives and girlfriends turning them down for sex. Women cheat because they are scum. I always so it's worse when a woman cheats.

It's women always preaching LOYALTY on dating apps and whenever you ask them what they are looking for. Always stressing the idea of one man to be their 'true love' and ****; the hypocrisy makes it x10 worse.

Men are honest about wanting unlimited sex, we just repress the urge (which is commendable). When men cheat it's more often a lapse of judgement, or moment of weakness vs when women cheat. We let our instincts get the best of us.

Women's libido is low asf (12-17x lower) compared to men's. For them to cheat they are consciously thinking and deciding with their brain to hurt their partner.

View attachment 5141
+1

Not only is libido lower but when on top form SMV 18-23, women are going nuts and getting banged out. When they get older, iys old hat and she's lost it.

Low sex drive means#next. Cuck is normalised up with western culture. You got dudes raising some other man's kid. Dudes playing house with Chad's booty call. Married dating coaches. Preach.

Imho men cheat more. By the numbers now and the culture, women are more now than ever because its available and normalised. In the middle east said women were stoned. With reason.
 

DEEZEDBRAH

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this is exactly the example of why it is better to not have a wife that works. earn enough ourselves to support the family. do not need stuff so badly that she also needs to work. I mean, who is going to take care of kids anyway... day care...

8 hours a day chatting up some guy every day for weeks, months, years will lead to attraction almost every time. Of course, we can just not care IDGAF, and then next her when she gets with the work guy.
I don't disagree but wifey poo needs the bigger house and range rover. For optics alone, listen to Kevin Samuel's female callers. They on the carousel. Epiphany phase or post wall, some other man's kids, and expects high value men. Delusional as ****kkk. Far worse morons are playing house. Very buster women and she gets the ring. Far worse, they want kids and her intent is to get kids and eat bon bons ad you bust your ass getting gwap. When she's bored insert divorce rape.

I don't disagree with you but playing house is currently retarded unless you will disappear if she trued divorce rape.
 

DEEZEDBRAH

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Women cheat because guys are emotionally unavailable, physically unavailable or terrible at sex.
I mean how would you feel if 3 out 4 women you were with had no idea how to make you cvm?
It still plausible deniability. The abundance of dead bedrooms for men is appalling. The majority of Internet porn is Christian men married. Its funny. Your point is not lost but there's definitely a lack of responsibility and ownership. Divorce is a modern example of female logic and a culture that caters to women. Women are encouraged to be disgusting human beings. N9 matter how badly behaved, scream misogyny and suddenly she's a Saint. Man bad.
 

justhe_justin

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No, I think what happened, is she let her bit of success go to her head, thought she could do better, and now regret and guilt is setting in.
A bump in salary and or status that puts 'her' above 'him' is a strong predictor of divorce. On average women desire a man who earns at least 54% more than what she makes. Women report the feeling of being "held back' when they suddenly begin to out earn their spouse.
 

justhe_justin

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I don't disagree but wifey poo needs the bigger house and range rover. For optics alone, listen to Kevin Samuel's female callers. They on the carousel. Epiphany phase or post wall, some other man's kids, and expects high value men. Delusional as ****kkk.
Hahahaha, exactly. See my earlier post about marriage:


Yah, marriage makes no sense right now.

In youth (ages 18-24), women are the most attractive, fun, kind, and reasonable as they'll be. As they grow older, somehow their perception of reality gets skewed and they grow the largest ego and sense of entitlement to a mansion with a 4 car garage, 6'4 jacked husband who earns 6 figures and takes her and her 6 kid's from 12 different baby-daddies on vacations to the Mykonos and Prague, etc.

Lol, kidding aside this is all I see on Bumble and Hinge these days. Over weight single mothers with a laundry list of demands and requirements which DO NOT match their SMV at all.
 

flowtheory

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Pure speculation.
Well I think one has to speculate a lot in such a small story. I know we can agree to disagree on some speculations, but I don’t imagine her upheaval of a family was some overnight choice. These things take years; especially when homes and families are involved. And who knows? He could have been deeply unsupportive of her course change for a fresh start. It’s all hard to say. My dad was to my mother and they ended up split from his lack of support. That can really sideline communication and passion.

But there needs to be more to the story. She feels guilty and all of that due to the destruction of what is deemed to be ‘picture perfect’ from the outside, whilst still recognizing he’s a good guy. The ramifications of her choices pour on to the children, and even the dog ffs! But if someone’s not happy in their marriage, should they stay because they desire something.. more? Could you?

But sometimes being good isn’t enough. Women want a man who can do it all. We all have experienced this to some degree. Every man, I think. It’s horrible. And is is a double standard bs. But that’s the game. And I’m the first person on this forum who knows what that feels like in my circumstances right now.
 

justhe_justin

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how would you feel if 3 out 4 women you were with had no idea how to make you cvm?
Many men don't get the opportunity to 'practice' because women generally bang the 10-20% Chads and Tyrones.



The 80% betas in waiting are straight up invisible to women until they are useful to women i.e. the epiphany phase when women are done having their 'fun' already have a child or two, have given their best and most attractive years Chad who gave no commitment or emotional attraction in exchange for fun crazy monkey s3x.

Then when she's 30-35 she finds a beta provider who she makes wait for sex until he meets her list of demands and proves himself to her. Then after 3-6 months when she finally let's him get some action, yah he terrible at sex (can you blame him). It's likely his 2nd and or 3rd ever sexual partner.

He has his fun for a few months after marriage until the honeymoon phases ends and suddenly the wife stop having sex with no explanation. Then he resorts to porn. He's financial bound to a wife via marriage and it's not what he signed up for. He thought he would get sex, now he deprived and busting his ass to meet her new demands to make her happy so hopefully she will fuxk him once a year.

This is not a fabricated story. I have hear this MANY times over from MANY different men. Even very highly accomplished men. It's sad.
 

DEEZEDBRAH

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Hahahaha, exactly. See my earlier post about marriage:


Yah, marriage makes no sense right now.

In youth (ages 18-24), women are the most attractive, fun, kind, and reasonable as they'll be. As they grow older, somehow their perception of reality gets skewed and they grow the largest ego and sense of entitlement to a mansion with a 4 car garage, 6'4 jacked husband who earns 6 figures and takes her and her 6 kid's from 12 different baby-daddies on vacations to the Mykonos and Prague, etc.

Lol, kidding aside this is all I see on Bumble and Hinge these days. Over weight single mothers with a laundry list of demands and requirements which DO NOT match their SMV at all.
Cappy is writing a book. ROI on womeb, marriage, and dating. The numbers are terrifying. 10% happy after 8yrs. High prevalence of divorce by 7yrs itch. Again women initiate the process and or bulking season. Worse its not her best years but after chad and Tyrone ran through her. Not in the mood for her hubby. A bachelor can get by on 20k. I don't recommend that. My mate went b6 on 7k last year. Full blown hippie. You don't need the gun to the head corporate gig and 6figs 100+ hour work weeks because wifey poo needs her birken bag. Idiocy.

Get off apps. Source via cold approach pickup. Meditate. Make plans for what next since you won't need to work till 65. The red pill malaysia comes in the form of WHAT NOW? Its the playboy dilemma. You pull. You can have rotations. They erode. Sometimes by no fault of your own. Pandemic. Life. Whatever. Even if you maintain a rotation, its a job. Sourcing via pickup is a day job.

I highly recommend that you become a resourceful man. Look into entrepreneurship. At the least, a side hustle outside of your home and workplace. The main thesis of David Deida on Way of the superior man is PURPOSE. I don't wait to text girls or play games like that i I am busy. I actually am busy. Having something more important than women is GOAT status. Ironically enough, you still need to approach as your D won't suck it self.
 

justhe_justin

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Get off apps. Source via cold approach pickup.
I'm just now looking into day game. Someone mentioned "The London Method" on a previous post of mine so I'm looking into that.

Just 2 months ago my eyes were opened to the concept of game after listening to Myron Gaines speak as a guest on Rollo Tomassi's podcast. So... yah, lot's to learn ;)
 

justhe_justin

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I highly recommend that you become a resourceful man. Look into entrepreneurship. At the least, a side hustle outside of your home and workplace. The main thesis of David Deida on Way of the superior man is PURPOSE. I don't wait to text girls or play games like that i I am busy. I actually am busy. Having something more important than women is GOAT status.
I hear what you're saying but personally I'm over the "busy" life:


About 2 years ago I reached the ultimate burn-out point in my life and left Corporate America. Been on cruise control ever since and to this day I couldn't be happier with my decision. Finding a purpose and something lucrative to occupy your time is key but at the same time it's tough to shake the PTSD yah know?
 

DEEZEDBRAH

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I'm just now looking into day game. Someone mentioned "The London Method" on a previous post of mine so I'm looking into that.

Just 2 months ago my eyes were opened to the concept of game after listening to Myron Gaines speak as a guest on Rollo Tomassi's podcast. So... yah, lot's to learn ;)
Assume everyone is selling you bs till there's ROI. CAPPY as in Aaron Clarey. Most of the books are cheap. Good content. No bs. Its funny though given his book worthless and rollo is an arts major lulz. YouTube James Tusk. I am sure there's a lot of guys doing it but he seems to be the only one with infields. Denton aka Karisma king is aesthetic so its hard to get guys to take serious. Solid game + aesthetic is a good combo. Play your cards to the best of your ability.
 

justhe_justin

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But if someone’s not happy in their marriage, should they stay because they desire something.. more? Could you?
Young men and women are sold on the concept of marriage as a 'forever thing'. If the couple knew (especially men) they would get a divorce I venture to say they would not sign up. Marriage is 'supposed' to be a life-long contract:

1. For rich or for poor
2. In sickness and health
3. For better or worse

If you are unhappy in your marriage, fix it, don't jump ship. If you truly love your partner it should be a simple task to workout whatever issues you may have. Or was it not 'love' in the first place.

Personally I think the dream of marriage which is sold to kids and young adults is false and hurts them. Reality is it's not a life-long contract despite what their parents, and church, and superiors tell them. The moment things get rough, their spouse may leave them or they may leave their spouse. Many young couple go into marriage having no idea what they're getting themselves into. They trust in the idea of "Love Conquers All". "We don't know what lies ahead but all that matters is that we love each other and the rest will work itself out". These are the lies that are sold. These are the lies most women cling to going into marriage and 10 years later they change their mind.

I say, "keep that same energy".

Yes, if you are unhappy in marriage, in most cases I would say stay and fix it, since you "love" your partner you should be able to work it out.

In the future, marriage should be a short-term contract which is renewed every 3-5 years. Either that or we complete do away with it because it's getting ridiculous.
 
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