reddit: I (28F) am having trouble transitioning to the next phase of life

[MatureDJ]

https://www.reddit.com/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen/comments/j2ojms my opinion: She is trying to figure out if she still has one more shot at Chad, but is smart enough to know that she needs a backup plan.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Being fun and exciting doesn't make you Chad.

 

[Alvafe]

Being fun and exciting doesn't make you Chad.

maybe not, but it is on her head, the idea of chad is woman getting "fun" with guys who she belive it will go nowhere save for sex and fun.

what she is looking for now is having the marriage status, don't matter who, anyone who marry her will be in a world of hurt, and that is not rare

 

[Serenity]

I think the "VERY marriage oriented" guy takes everything too seriously, sucks the fun out of everything. He probably could have been fun and exciting while also wanting to marry at some point, but it seems that type of man is rare these days. Like the unicorn of men.

She made the wrong choice, she settled with a simp because her biological clock is ticking. He also made the wrong choice, regarding a woman as "the one", taking it too seriously, forgetting to have fun and picking a woman who he in all likelihood won't be able to keep.

She would never settle with him if it wasn't for her feeling the pressure to have children. He would probably settle for anything due to his brainwashing about how important marriage is.

 

[lost_blackbird]

Even they don't know what they want. What chance have we got, honestly?

 

[Augustus_McCrae]

https://www.reddit.com/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen/comments/j2ojms my opinion: She is trying to figure out if she still has one more shot at Chad, but is smart enough to know that she needs a backup plan.

Looking into my crystal ball, I see the future:

Marriage
2 kids
7 to 10 years later: Divorce Rape

And the divorce lawyers lived happily ever after.

-Augustus-

 

[SW15]

When I read this story, what impresses me the most is that this is occurring in 2020, when a lot of unattached, single people are feeling imprisoned, due to the COVID restrictions. COVID restrictions hit single and unattached people hardest because public places are essential in the relational formation stage. The fact that she was able to have sex with 2-3 different men in 4 months in 2020 is a telling sign. However, a lot of the marrieds and established couples are wasting their advantage, as divorce rates appear to be on the rise and many non-marital established couples are breaking up.

what she is looking for now is having the marriage status, don't matter who, anyone who marry her will be in a world of hurt, and that is not rare

She made the wrong choice, she settled with a simp because her biological clock is ticking. He also made the wrong choice, regarding a woman as "the one", taking it too seriously, forgetting to have fun and picking a woman who he in all likelihood won't be able to keep.

She would never settle with him if it wasn't for her feeling the pressure to have children. He would probably settle for anything due to his brainwashing about how important marriage is.

I agree that both people are making the wrong choice. A lot of women around age 30 want to get married, especially if their social circle has had a lot of marriages lately.

The guy in question is a thirsty guy. He's thirsty for both the sex and the status of being married. A lot of late Gen X (1977-1981) and 1980s born Millennial guys (this guy was likely born in the late 1980s) who saw their Boomer parents buck the Boomer trend and have successful marriages expect to be a married guy themselves. These late Gen X guys and earlier Millennial guys saw their parents were married before 25-27, and once they get to 27 or so and are unmarried, they feel out of place, especially if some of their friends have gotten married. This is a real beta/blue pill thing, but it happens.

Looking into my crystal ball, I see the future:

Marriage
2 kids
7 to 10 years later: Divorce Rape

And the divorce lawyers lived happily ever after.

Likely what would happen.

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

Gentleman, lets get one thing straight:

The Wall, has nothing to do with her, it has to do with us... When WE turn 29, we enter our prime, mainly because this is the age, where we can socially acceptably date out of the best dating pools, 18-29 and 29-39... The Wall, is the idea, of her now having to compete with the rest of your new options.

She wants, simply, what she cannot compete to get... You see her desire to just have a simple attachment to the unobtainable, over a whole life with the obtainable?

Spinning Plates, to me, is about crafting an unobtainable mindset and we can see that power on display here.

 

[Blacksheep]

https://www.reddit.com/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen/comments/j2ojms my opinion: She is trying to figure out if she still has one more shot at Chad, but is smart enough to know that she needs a backup plan.

Yeah, she just realized that her SMV is gone... And now, she is a poor woman who cannot have a provider + cheating with alpha males.

 

[Poonani Maker]

now that life's been fvcked outta her, she wants to be dead wood for some poor sap
she's on the other side, the lifeless side, so there's no turning back, she has to make concessions and be used (even more now)

 

[bat soup]

If she wants marriage and a family she needs to get with the program quick, because once she hits 30 the quality of man that she can attract is going to reduce with every passing year.

 

[SW15]

The Wall, has nothing to do with her, it has to do with us... When WE turn 29, we enter our prime, mainly because this is the age, where we can socially acceptably date out of the best dating pools, 18-29 and 29-39... The Wall, is the idea, of her now having to compete with the rest of your new options.

The wall is a concept that had more applicability in the pre-internet and pre-apps era than now for women. Women still generate a ton of interest in their so-called wall years. There are average looking women in their mid-30s to mid-40s now who can date multiple men simultanously from using swipe apps. They might not get committment and they may not have children, but they have plenty of companionship and sex. This might not be enough to make them happy, but they are usually have more quantity of options than the typical man of a similar age.

A 29 year old man will typically be able to date 18-28s, though he may struggle with 18-22s. The older you are and the bigger the age gap, the more excellent you have to be. A 35 year old man has to be a top tier 35 year old man to date a 22 year old, but he can be more ordinary and date a 34 year old. It's still a lot of competition even for a 35 year old man to date a 34 year old, especially if his primary means of meeting women is swipe apps.

If she wants marriage and a family she needs to get with the program quick, because once she hits 30 the quality of man that she can attract is going to reduce with every passing year.

Perfectly said!

She’s headed towards anti anxiety medicine.
she hammered down three more guys just to run her experiment. Hahaha
triple digits soon.

She may already be on anti-anxiety meds. She is going to be unhappy with that #3 commitment minded guy.

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

The wall is a concept that had more applicability in the pre-internet and pre-apps era than now for women. Women still generate a ton of interest in their so-called wall years. There are average looking women in their mid-30s to mid-40s now who can date multiple men simultanously from using swipe apps. They might not get committment and they may not have children, but they have plenty of companionship and sex. This might not be enough to make them happy, but they are usually have more quantity of options than the typical man of a similar age.

A 29 year old man will typically be able to date 18-28s, though he may struggle with 18-22s. The older you are and the bigger the age gap, the more excellent you have to be. A 35 year old man has to be a top tier 35 year old man to date a 22 year old, but he can be more ordinary and date a 34 year old. It's still a lot of competition even for a 35 year old man to date a 34 year old, especially if his primary means of

Im curious why you felt the need to post this? I see no assertion that I am wrong in my claims, yet you just outlining unnecessary nuance?

 

[Lookatu]

Gentleman, lets get one thing straight:

The Wall, has nothing to do with her, it has to do with us... When WE turn 29, we enter our prime, mainly because this is the age, where we can socially acceptably date out of the best dating pools, 18-29 and 29-39... The Wall, is the idea, of her now having to compete with the rest of your new options.

She wants, simply, what she cannot compete to get... You see her desire to just have a simple attachment to the unobtainable, over a whole life with the obtainable?

Spinning Plates, to me, is about crafting an unobtainable mindset and we can see that power on display here.

I'm going to disagree with this(primarily the statement in bold) as females around that age do go through biological changes and not for the better either. Men can delay those biological changes well into our 40's.
Now if you want to split hairs or if it's merely about semantics on what your definition of hitting the wall is, then your idea would also be a valid one as well.

 

[bat soup]

She's having trouble transitioning into the phase where she gets less attention from men and has to start doing things for herself.

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

I'm going to disagree with this(primarily the statement in bold) as females around that age do go through biological changes and not for the better either. Men can delay those biological changes well into our 40's.
Now if you want to split hairs or if it's merely about semantics on what your definition of hitting the wall is, then your idea would also be a valid one as well.

Define biological changes... In Context to being 29, which is in context to the thread.

 

[Lookatu]

Define biological changes... In Context to being 29, which is in context to the thread.

Them getting fatter(slower metabolism), starting to look older(youthful look going away due to less collagen production), less flexible, get sore more easily, hormonal issues(losing sleep, pms, cramping makes them look worse), some start getting grey hair at that age, etc...

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

Them getting fatter(slower metabolism), starting to look older(youthful look going away due to less collagen production), less flexible, get sore more easily, hormonal issues(losing sleep, pms, cramping makes them look worse), some start getting grey hair at that age, etc...

The hormones ill agree with you on, but they can supplement the rest and they do.

 

[SW15]

The wall for women is much softer than we think it is. The typical 35 year old childless single women has more options than most men near her age and childless can imagine. She might not be getting hit on as much in person at 35 as she was at 25, but she still has a charmed existance.

Men don't have a wall. However, I think a lot of men overestimate how in demand they'll be in their 30s and 40s. The typical 40 year old man is not attracting 25 year old women. The typical 40 year old man is scavenging for women close to his own age.