Performance anxiety when I legitimately "like" a woman

[.Paradox.]

Anyone else? Don't be scared to admit it--we're all anonymous here. And I'd appreciate thoughts/advice.

Seems like if I don't give a sh!t about the girl and just want to use her as a literal fvck toy I have no issues. But once I start to date a girl and legitimately like her I get in my head more and sometimes/sporadically have issues.

I know some guys are the opposite--they get performance anxiety if they don't know a girl well and aren't "comfortable" with her.

Had a date earlier with someone I've seen like 8 times now. She dressed up for me in this sexy outfit and everything. Went to her place and she wanted to fvck immediately, but I didn't feel horny at all. D1ck was as limp as an overcook spaghetti noodle. Embarrassing. And I felt pretty sh1tty considering she dressed up for me. Was awkward for a bit, went for a walk, came back, we started slowly getting into it and then I was all good. Went 3 rounds like a champ. Very weird, but I remember this happening years ago with the last girl I was seriously dating. It's like I care about them TOO much and lose sexual attraction or something.

 

[andreihaha]

Anyone else? Don't be scared to admit it--we're all anonymous here. And I'd appreciate thoughts/advice.

Seems like if I don't give a sh!t about the girl and just want to use her as a literal fvck toy I have no issues. But once I start to date a girl and legitimately like her I get in my head more and sometimes/sporadically have issues.

I know some guys are the opposite--they get performance anxiety if they don't know a girl well and aren't "comfortable" with her.

Had a date earlier with someone I've seen like 8 times now. She dressed up for me in this sexy outfit and everything. Went to her place and she wanted to fvck immediately, but I didn't feel horny at all. D1ck was as limp as an overcook spaghetti noodle. Embarrassing. And I felt pretty sh1tty considering she dressed up for me. Was awkward for a bit, went for a walk, came back, we started slowly getting into it and then I was all good. Went 3 rounds like a champ. Very weird, but I remember this happening years ago with the last girl I was seriously dating. It's like I care about them TOO much and lose sexual attraction or something.

Drink a little bit of wine before, it will keep blood flowing and make you think a little bit less.
Once you get used to her, you'll forget about this problem. 3 rounds like a champ sounds enough for a confidence boost if you ask me.
You're probably a little anxious about loosing her since you care.

P.S. Prepare for the obbligatory "Have sex with other women" posts!

 

[andreihaha]

Anyone else? Don't be scared to admit it--we're all anonymous here. And I'd appreciate thoughts/advice.

Seems like if I don't give a sh!t about the girl and just want to use her as a literal fvck toy I have no issues. But once I start to date a girl and legitimately like her I get in my head more and sometimes/sporadically have issues.

I know some guys are the opposite--they get performance anxiety if they don't know a girl well and aren't "comfortable" with her.

Had a date earlier with someone I've seen like 8 times now. She dressed up for me in this sexy outfit and everything. Went to her place and she wanted to fvck immediately, but I didn't feel horny at all. D1ck was as limp as an overcook spaghetti noodle. Embarrassing. And I felt pretty sh1tty considering she dressed up for me. Was awkward for a bit, went for a walk, came back, we started slowly getting into it and then I was all good. Went 3 rounds like a champ. Very weird, but I remember this happening years ago with the last girl I was seriously dating. It's like I care about them TOO much and lose sexual attraction or something.

Also, have you considered checking your testosterone levels?
I saw a lot of guys recommending that on the forum. Could help.

 

[bcude]

Hey man, i've lost some women in my life due to this. I felt like it was so much at stake when i started to like someone for real and that i should perform like a pornstar champ which made me instead start to avoid sex alltogether and the women thought i was disgusted by them. Never had any problems with libido it was just a mental block. A little bit of alcohol is always good to loosen up.

Identifying the problem is always a good start to approach it in the right way.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

No...maybe it's the anxiety that you know you might not be very good? I can't wait because I already know it will put me so far and above pretty much every other guy she has been with. I reign destruction and am the rocker of worlds.

 

[CBear]

Let's look at it from a scientific standpoint. We simply need to break it down to the Sympathetic system (fight or flight) and Parasympathetic system (Rest and digest). When both a man and a woman are relaxed, it promotes an erection/vaginal lubrication. In contrast, the fight or flight response stimulates orgasms.

Basically just boils down to deep rooted thoughts about the woman that you like which is making you not relaxed/anxious. Find ways to relax yourself. If you continue hanging out (but more so sleeping) with the same girl that you like, the relaxation will occur naturally over time.

 

[EyeBRollin]

I used to have it with girls I “liked.” Then I saw women for what they are. Haven’t had an issue since....

 

[Dash Riprock]

This happens to everyone occasionally. For me it was usually early in a relationship or with someone I didn't know very well. Probably a comfort-level thing. A few years back I had my doctor write me a Rx for generic Viagra, called Sildenafil (it's really cheap too). When I'm with a new girl or ONS, about 30 minutes before the act, I'll crack a pill and take 10 mg. Works great. It also delays my orgasms.

Nothing wrong with putting high octane fuel in the gas tank.

Good luck.

 

[Bible_Belt]

This happens to everyone occasionally. For me it was usually early in a relationship or with someone I didn't know very well. Probably a comfort-level thing. A few years back I had my doctor write me a Rx for generic Viagra, called Sildenafil (it's really cheap too). When I'm with a new girl or ONS, about 30 minutes before the act, I'll crack a pill and take 10 mg. Works great. It also delays my orgasms.

Nothing wrong with putting high octane fuel in the gas tank.

Good luck.

Generic prices on viagra are less than a dollar a pill (only take half a pill at once) and generic cialis is about 1.50 (take about one fourth of a pill per day).

I wont post the url so the spambots stay away, but google for all day chemist.

 

[Alvafe]

Generic prices on viagra are less than a dollar a pill (only take half a pill at once) and generic cialis is about 1.50 (take about one fourth of a pill per day).

I wont post the url so the spambots stay away, but google for all day chemist.

I wouldn't do it everyday, it can make you never work if not using said drug, moderation on this will help, if you are not having physical issues with this problem and is just mental ones half before doing it should do the trick, understanding what is gettting on your mind and work to control it also pays off, you are helping your mind to concentrate, with can help in several things you need and want to do

 

[Roober]

This happens to everyone occasionally. For me it was usually early in a relationship or with someone I didn't know very well. Probably a comfort-level thing. A few years back I had my doctor write me a Rx for generic Viagra, called Sildenafil (it's really cheap too). When I'm with a new girl or ONS, about 30 minutes before the act, I'll crack a pill and take 10 mg. Works great. It also delays my orgasms.

Nothing wrong with putting high octane fuel in the gas tank.

Good luck.

I will second this approach.

Although I have noticed it usually only happens when I'm not that into a woman for any number of reasons...

 

[logicallefty]

I absolutely get performance anxiety every single time I sleep with a new woman. I want to be able to please her so she will come back again. This is critical if you want to have sex with any woman more than one time. If you are a minute man or don’t seem to be interested in pleasing her then she can go find Her D from somewhere else. Usually by about the 3-4th time I sleep with a woman my anxietygoes away because I know what to expect and what to do to give her the big O

 

[bat soup]

I think if the problem is related to the way you think, maybe you can solve it by changing the way you think. Try not thinking about her in romantic terms and think about her in a more dirty way - think about what you'd like to do to her etc.