"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Ideas for building a social circle?

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Lynx nkaf

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Glad you have the common knowledge to realize the social circle is key to meeting women. Bars and online dating do not work generally.

Just to expand on what you said:

Meetup.com

Check out your local community college or County Park Systems for classes.

Just a word of advice, most classes at a community college (e.g basic Spanish) are through the adult education catalog (not full semester classes and last maybe 3 to 8 weeks (at most) with classes once a week

I took a basic drawing class through a county park system. Good class, but only met once a week for six sessions.

These environments are fun and conducive to learning, but you don't spend enough time with the people to really make a social connection.

Better idea: Take a full semester real class on a topic of interest.

Look into taking a class at night at a community college or university where you can audit the class (You do all the assignments and homework, but you don't get a grade) This will cost you $300 to $500 but you will be with college paying students. My basic French class was 3 months, two nights a week. I was 35 or 36 with a bunch of 19 to 22 year olds and there was one person older. I didn't make any new friends when I left, but it could work since you are with these people alot longer than a Continuing Ed. Class.

Another great one: Join a gym and take a intructor taught course (Hiit, Kickboxing, Yoga, Spin) Most of the participants are women.

Volunteer somewhere! (Park System, food bank)

Alumni events (alot of the same people go)
Good Luck!
'common knowledge to realize the social circle is key' actually came from member stormrider in another post. He's written this before too.

I just needed more ideas on how to build these circles, thanks.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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jaymbrs

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Can't do that today but go to sports bars to watch a game. I've moved to 2 different cities and made good friends just hanging at sports bars.
 

7onriverI f

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As a captain of the high school football team I got no ***** from it. You actually gotta get around girls and actually esculate and **** them.
Your better off spending all your time hitting up girls on the streets, at pubs and clubs, beaches shopping malls.
Spend 1-1.5 hours in the gym (home workout till futher notice), eat clean.

You need to focus on finding girls who are wanting to **** straight off the bat. Not spending time on girls who ain't even interested. Usually this is done through eye contact, keeping things fun, escualting, and then ****ing.
 

Lynx nkaf

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As a captain of the high school football team I got no ***** from it. You actually gotta get around girls and actually esculate and **** them.
Your better off spending all your time hitting up girls on the streets, at pubs and clubs, beaches shopping malls.
Spend 1-1.5 hours in the gym (home workout till futher notice), eat clean.

You need to focus on finding girls who are wanting to **** straight off the bat. Not spending time on girls who ain't even interested. Usually this is done through eye contact, keeping things fun, escualting, and then ****ing.
I just remember my Dad saying he got a lot of dates being on a champion high school football team.
I agree, you pretty much just have to place yourself in places where there's abundance of choice.

When the opportunity arises, isolate and escalate.
 

7onriverI f

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I just remember my Dad saying he got a lot of dates being on a champion high school football team.
I agree, you pretty much just have to place yourself in places where there's abundance of choice.

When the opportunity arises, isolate and escalate.
Being conscious is very attractive and girls will want to be around you and not get some sort of social status on money or sum **** from you.
 
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"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

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