Rich GF Tempting Me With Investment Opportunities

[jaymbrs]

Some of you guys are aware I have a GF who comes from a wealthy family and also makes a decent living on her own. We've been together over a year and have had a lot of ups and downs. We both have a lot of pride and egos and while we can set them aside most times, whenever we bump heads it gets ugly, to the point where I'm convinced it's not going to work with this woman and I need to move on. Here's the kicker, I'm closing on a home very soon and currently staying with her until that happens and as of late she's been throwing around the idea of investment properties. She just moved to the city I'm in and it's a hot spot for real estate. The idea is that she would provide the funds to get started as long as I live with her at one of the properties and in the meantime rent mine out. Living with her is not something I want (atleast not yet) but this is one of those "hmm this could payoff for me if I just put up with certain things" type of situation. This isn't something I have to decide now. Just a thought to throw out to SS and get some opinions.

What do you guys think?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

You are entering "sh!t or get off the pot" territory with her I am guessing.

Basically she is wanting you to either commit more to her and move the relationship to the next level or she is going to probably bounce eventually.

Just know that you are approaching a crossroad in the relationship based on your decision.

 

[jaymbrs]

You are entering "sh!t or get off the pot" territory with her I am guessing.

Basically she is wanting you to either commit more to her and move the relationship to the next level or she is going to probably bounce eventually.

Just know that you are approaching a crossroad in the relationship based on your decision.

Yea you're probably right. It's an enticing proposal but it's also foreign territory for me as I've never dated a woman who is as well off as she is.

 

[cola]

I’d tell her “babe, before we can go to the next level, because I know that’s what you want, we have some issues we need to work on.”
This is an In person convo, at a nice dinner perhaps.
Tell her about those times you had those “I don’t know if I can deal with this woman moments”

if she doesn’t convince you that she is going to work on those issues, don’t do any moving together or investment properties or any sh*t like that.

Don’t make it an ultimatum, but you and the so suave bro’s know it’s really an ultimatum.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Don’t mix business with pleasure. Thank her for the offer and decline. Purchase the property with your own funds.

 

[Billtx49]

Don’t mix business with pleasure. Thank her for the offer and decline. Purchase the property with your own funds.

Yes, From the investment aspect, it’s usually a wise choice to never get into financial agreements, verbal or otherwise with friends, lovers, and family.

 

[jaymbrs]

Yes, From the investment aspect, it’s usually a wise choice to never get into financial agreements, verbal or otherwise with friends, lovers, and family.

And that's what I'm struggling with. I don't know if it'll work out with her in the long run, regardless if we do this. But she works as a relationship manager at a clearing house and knows a **** ton about investments, things I can't wrap my head around. On one end it sounds like a great opportunity, but the risk of course is being tied up with someone I won't like in the future.

 

[MrWood]

You date for over a year, but you dont want to live together (yet).

This says more than any other part of your story.

I'm convinced it's not going to work with this woman and I need to move on

so, why dont you? and save two people from getting hurt and wasting time

 

[Chev.Chelios]

Whenever money gets Involved the dynamic changes completely..

Should just keep money and personal relationships completely separate from each other because money introduces a toxic element in humans..

If you think having a financial relationship with her is a good idea do it..

If you think having that relationship is is big bad fvxking mistake that's going to end in ww3 do not do it..

Simply keep the relationship going with no personal attachments and just have fun. If she keeps pushing for a ltr tell her flat out you don't trust her like that and your good doing what your doing, her pushing you with an ultimatum is a lack of respect and boundaries.

Your money is yours and you better fvxking know how to keep it away from incompetent people. Serious competitive cut throat game.. you don't just team with anybody and expect good results. Because good results are rare and takes skill. You think most women get good results long term LOLOLOL

Me personally. Never work with people who haven't made all their money by themselves. Inheritance money is a joke and unearned, the individual has no idea how money works and will most likely fvck everything up.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

You date for over a year, but you dont want to live together (yet).

This says more than any other part of your story.


so, why dont you? and save two people from getting hurt and wasting time

Exactly my point. This really doesn't have anything to do with the investment issue, that's just the convenient justification OP has convinced himself of in his own mind.

 

[bmp2cpm]

Women seek men for their resources. Resources can be many things, time, protection from unwanted males.

But when the women has more money resources than the man, it makes the relationship much more challenging.

My first wife made about 25% more than me and her family sold their company to Kodak for millions in the mid-90s.

Now matter how much we made, she would spend more, always expecting annual gifts, trust, and inheritance from her family.

It’s not worth it from my experience. In those years I could have saved more alone, made better financial decisions, and could have retired at 45.

Marry a women that makes a lot less than you and you will be much happier.

 

[OldSlowPoke]

why do you not want to live with her yet? don't trade the relationship for money, you will end up with neither. some couples move in together to save money, then their relationship degrades because it was not in the right phase to become that kind of relationship. do you see her as a business partner or a relationship more?

 

[Tilex]

Whenever I see those two words 'Investment Opportunities' in sequence together, I immediately think of pyramid schemes.
Those two words get thrown out a lot during sales pitches.

 

[bcude]

Cola its ironic a friend of mine is having these chats with his 25 yr GF just yesterday. Hes being pressed for a ring.
As good as your post is these chats with girls rarely ever work.

Negotiating with girls is useless. Its better to just tell them what you expect. And if they dont meet those expectations then your attention is cut off. Or a breakup. Compliance screening is hugely important these days. So you don't end up her therapist.
And this friend of mine is trying to just that.

As another poster said why it is important to LTR down assets wise. Someone poorer then you.

It's not really a negotiation, he's laying down his expectations before commiting further. I think this is perfectly reasonable. She has an opportunity to chime in and then you see if you're on the same page or not. You can after that decide if you want to leave or not as a man.
If you don't make her feel involved in the relationship, there will be no relationship anymore. The key is being firm and stand your ground and not turn it into an argument.

Whenever money gets Involved the dynamic changes completely..

Should just keep money and personal relationships completely separate from each other because money introduces a toxic element in humans..

Very very true statement. Money does things to people, even the closest of friends. It tears families apart.

 

[Spaz]

Tell her exactly what you plan on doing, ur ambitions, etc.

Stick to it and don't be wishy-washy.

In the meantime, tell her you expect her to support you whenever it's needed, that's what a man's woman is supposed to do.

Your plan, your decisions, your life with or without her support, you will follow through it.

Don't negotiate.

You lead, she follows or not, that's the cardinal rule.

 

[Spaz]

Spaz you said the words. The amount of men im around in my daily life that negotiate with their girls is astounding. Sad but true.
Whether its money, direction, purchases, desire, sex, etc etc
Its a very high number. We are in the matrix.

Well they created their own shiethole but then ends up accusing their woman of being BPD...

It must be a wonderful world for women to be in relationships with some men.

Somehow, I pity women.

 

[zekko]

All I can say is that if you're not getting along now, living together isn't going to make it any better.