Talking to an introvert girl going through recent breakup.

[FruitLoops]

I have this girl in my class, recent breakup (5 months, give or take). I have talking to her a bit, she doesnt talk much. She mostly stays within herself, barely talks to anyone in class. She is a good friend of one of my female friends in my class, from whom i got to know about her recent breakup. I somehow managed to get her number but she doesnt respond promptly on text. I mean she takes ages to respond. I understand from this that maybe she isnt interested in texting.
She responds well when we talk face to face. However, mostly the conversation has been basic so far, relating to studies and stuff. I simply cant understand how to escalate the conversation to next level, let alone ask her out.

 

[FruitLoops]

Texts are easy. They don't require a stamp or a mailbox. Back in the day, a girl might send you a letter, and if you liked her letter and wanted to get another one, you usually needed to write her back. In fact, if she sent you a bunch of letters, unreciprocated, you would probably think there was something wrong with her, even if you enjoyed getting her letters, at first. But, letters, phone calls, and in-person meetings were all distinct social expressions, with different levels of intimacy.

Texting? Texting is the social equivalent of drunk dialing a crush, and leaving an instantly regretted message on her answering machine. It's a p ussy move that looks exactly like what it is....except that, with texting, people are leaving a dozen embarrassing drunk dial messages, in a row, and considering the recipient "rude," for failing to respond.

Stop using texting as a substitute for balls, and start using balls as a substitute for texting.

I understand your point on texting. However like i said in my post, i also have difficulty in escalating face to face conversation as well, since the topic of our discussion would mostly be related to our study. Face to face, how do i escalate the conversation?

 

[cola]

When girls have long text response times I call them out on that sh*t.

“I’m trying to get to know you, but it’s hard when it takes you a half a day to answer every text”

I’ve had it go two ways.
a.) the behavior corrects
b.) the behavior persists.

when a happens, I know they were trying to pull me into their frame by not being needy and purposely timing their response times.

when b happens, I assume low interest and stop texting them all together.

When women are doing something you don’t like it’s ok to pull their card on it in a non needy way. Women have their phones in their hands 80% of the time introvert or not, she sees the texts and is choosing not to respond. So you figure out why and decide weather to cut your losses or not.

 

[MrWood]

you need to move her from "guy who listens to my ****", to "hes cute and maybe he likes me"

tips:
1. compliment her on her fashion, clothes, shoes (or some non-netural comment)
2. kino, when you make her laugh or an ironic/funny comment... touch her arm ("oh i know.. lollol")

3: if she smiles or laughs in a cute/relaxed/fun way...
you: "i like that about you"
her: "what?"
you: "that thing you do with your lips and mouth... your smile/laugh... its cute" (touch her shoulder or upper arm - 2a.)

 

[nicksaiz65]

When girls have long text response times I call them out on that sh*t.

“I’m trying to get to know you, but it’s hard when it takes you a half a day to answer every text”

I’ve had it go two ways.
a.) the behavior corrects
b.) the behavior persists.

when a happens, I know they were trying to pull me into their frame by not being needy and purposely timing their response times.

when b happens, I assume low interest and stop texting them all together.

When women are doing something you don’t like it’s ok to pull their card on it in a non needy way. Women have their phones in their hands 80% of the time introvert or not, she sees the texts and is choosing not to respond. So you figure out why and decide weather to cut your losses or not.

The question is, when do you know when to call them out and when do you just pull back when they do stuff like that

 

[cola]

The question is, when do you know when to call them out and when do you just pull back when they do stuff like that

in this particular case as soon as you notice it takes an unreasonable amount of time to respond to texts and it’s a pattern. You text her, it takes her 6 hours to respond every time. That’s an unreasonable pattern.

 

[lamath]

The txt thing seems to me a indication of low interest, however i think when in person its way easier to spot where you stand.

If you want to date show her your intent asap, don t beat around the bush if you do it is a sure road to Friend Zone

 

[Kotaix]

How does she respond to non-verbal cues? Does she avoid your gaze at all times or is she capable of holding eye contact and sharing non-verbal intimacy?

I know one woman who is socially awkward to the extreme, she's decently hot, but she has aspergers and completely locks up when confronted with anything new, she'll ignore men that are showing obvious signs of interest (this coming from my ex whose friend she is). Once you break thru the ice she's actually pretty freaky, but she's clueless about attraction unless you're explicit with her.

 

[FruitLoops]

Here is an update. The stuff i learned about her. She is still struggling to get over her ex. Apparently he is in her friend circle (not in our class).
Right now i havent made any move at all. Apparently i am still struggling to open her up. I am concerned if i made a move i ll be shot down instantly.

 

[FruitLoops]

How does she respond to non-verbal cues? Does she avoid your gaze at all times or is she capable of holding eye contact and sharing non-verbal intimacy?

I know one woman who is socially awkward to the extreme, she's decently hot, but she has aspergers and completely locks up when confronted with anything new, she'll ignore men that are showing obvious signs of interest (this coming from my ex whose friend she is). Once you break thru the ice she's actually pretty freaky, but she's clueless about attraction unless you're explicit with her.

Sometimes when we have an eye contact we smile at each other. But its not a long eye contact, its very brief.
I suppose she doesnt respond well to non verbal cues.

 

[FruitLoops]

And i forgot to say. Create some triangles with peers. Invite her in and it may help pull her out of her shell.
Introverted girls lack openness so offer her a way to open up to more people and just have a bit of fun at the moment. It may intrigue her that you have something to offer.
However if your introverted too this maybe a problem but maybe you can experience it together.
That makes vaginass wet young man.

This seems as an excellent advice. I have a mutual friend with her. I was having same idea about inviting her. As it turns out, I am not introvert in my group. I suppose this can be to my advantage.