From confident to clown: How my life turned into a living hell

[sosousage]

i could not find the promised TLDR jfl

 

[CaptainNotSoObvious]

i could not find the promised TLDR jfl

I will post the rest of the posts tomorrow and the TLDR, sorry.

 

[AttackFormation]

Very good catch. She was a pathological liar and so manipulative that it would not surprise me. She may have acted inexperienced as well.

Really manipulative women or outright cluster Bs sense what you're like while getting to know you, and then say things like "I can't believe how slutty women are!" or "I could never cheat, I hate cheating!" and so on, what gives this away as manipulation in retrospect is how flagrantly suggestive their statements are to you. It's virtue signaling/"snowflaking".

What she is trying to do is to make herself seem different from other women and be special to you, so you build a strong emotional attachment to her. Because they go through a lot of men they have a lot of experience in their natural affinity for manipulation, they pick up on the typical patterns of people's stories, thoughts and feelings (as you will too from reading this forum a lot). But instead of using this for something constructive, since she is cluster B she delights in the sense of power this gives her and the pain she can inflict. They know very well what men typically like to imagine about her which is most of all that she is not promiscuous, and also other things like "connecting" with you in both an engaging and bambi-like vulnerable way. Your girl reinforced that point about "not being promiscuous" all the time, not just denying that she talks to other men but also always asking you what kind of girl you think she is or telling you she is not like that, and of course playing sexually inexperienced.

So it was clear as day to me by her calculated, misleading suggestions combined with her skewed sense of boundaries in showing you those early screenshots that this is a classic cluster B. The lovebombing is an additional sign. Unfortunately you had just the right disposition to fall for her hook, line and sinker because deep down you were looking for the kind of pleasant illusion that she created of her connecting with you, needing you, and being a sexy but yet temperate woman, and I bet you didn't even know that yourself.

I have experienced covert manipulation, open cluster B, and traveling to see a girl who basically betrayed me and that is what gave me the experience to quickly pick these things out - but I only experienced it in three different girls, never all in one as you.

---

By the way, which online dating platform was it?

 

[AttackFormation]

To me its not so much she said that. A lot of women boast of not tolerating cheating. Its the first instance of the lie that OP put up with cluster B? Might be a reach if she says this.

The way she quickly and flagrantly boasts about being a snowflake and how bad other people are, is what gives it away, not holding the value itself. It's the same as when they boastfully proclaim and insist that they are not promiscuous, and aggressively accuse other women of being so.

- Skewed sense of boundaries
- Calculated snowflaking/virtue signaling
- Lovebombing

She checks all three.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Dude this sh!t is mesmerizing...you should write books. People would buy them.

 

[Serenity]

Holy sh!t! That was a ride!

I have made a fvck up that's conceptually the same, but with consequences several magnitudes less severe.

It was just this girl who I met on OLD when I was 21. We had sex and she spent the night on the first date, that fact alone was enough to make me stupid since I had gone without for 5 years since my first girlfriend. The next day she asked me to drop her off at one of her friends. After she told me we could just be friends, I wasn't having it after 5 years of similar rejections. I won that round, she all of a sudden became crazy for me. We set up a date the next week. I call her when I'm about to leave to pick her up, it's distinctly calling for 5 seconds before I get a busy signal. A whole hour later she messages me to cancel because she's tired, I'm left wondering what the hell happened.

After that incident I go cold, don't message her. A couple days later she blows up my phone the entire day trying to get a hold of me. I of course saw every message the moment she sent it, but I was going to ignore her like she ignored me the other day. In the evening I message her back, not discussing my apparent absence at all and we plan to meet in a few hours.

I pick her up, drive to my place (every date was at my place) and I ask her what happened 2 days ago. She tells me she was in the shower. Now I'm no idiot, just like you I know how tech works. A phone doesn't automatically give a busy signal after 5 seconds, that only happens if the recipient rejects the call. She probably wasn't in the shower, but even though I had this strong sense she was lying I made no big deal of it. We had sex and I told her I had to go to work early next morning. Around 3am she suddenly has to leave to see some "friend" and she's begging me to drive her. I question nothing and just drive her, but I'm wondering wtf is going on internally.

After that broken sleep to drive her to what was probably some other dude she fvcked, I didn't have the best day at work. I wasn't thinking straight. She wanted to come to my place again and stupid me accepted it. So again I picked her up, we spent the evening, fvcked and went to sleep. She stayed this night, again I had to work early and she stayed at my place while I was at work. I had gotten a lot better sleep and throughout my workday I really thought about the recent events. The obvious lie about being in the shower, meeting someone in the middle of the night and when I thought about it she went above and beyond to not show her phone screen at any time.

I came home from work, she was still there. I had reached a conclusion, she had to go. I didn't discuss it because I would absolutely explode if I heard another lie. I told her to gather her things, she did. I asked her if she got everything that was hers, she claimed so, but I took 2 rounds myself to make sure none of her possessions was still in my house. I asked where she wanted to go, she told me to drop her off at the same place I dropped her off at 3am. I was calm, but assertive. She was probably not used to that, she just complied but looked a bit confused. It was a very silent trip, she just kept asking if she had done something wrong. I didn't answer, no point discussing with a liar. I dropped her off and that was the last time I saw her.

She asked me the next day to meet again, I just said no and blocked her. That's the last I heard of her. Looking back I was incredibly stupid, yet I'm grateful that I figured it out after seeing her only 3 times. I would probably have royally fvcked it up to the extent you did if it wasn't for my decision to go with my gut feeling, the strong sense that something is wrong.

I learned that day to never accept being lied to. Trust is the foundation that relationships are built upon. She lied pretty much from the beginning, ruining the foundation before it's even built. I take lying extremely seriously, it's an absolute deal breaker.

If I were you I would end it at the first strike. You should never have to pull the truth out of someone. If I ever come into a situation where I know someone is lying, I confront them once and they lie again then it's game over. They're not only lying at that point, they're gaslighting and insulting my intelligence. No discussion, they can fvck off immediately.

I wish you good luck and I hope you recover from this. It helps to realize what an incredibly valuable lesson you've learned, you're basically immune to this now.

 

[flowtheory]

This is what ignoring flags looks like and making a woman your main purpose.

Sorry that it’s taken this much for you to open your eyes. I hope you’re able to rebuild

 

[CaptainNotSoObvious]

The way she quickly and flagrantly boasts about being a snowflake and how bad other people are, is what gives it away, not holding the value itself. It's the same as when they boastfully proclaim and insist that they are not promiscuous, and aggressively accuse other women of being so.

- Skewed sense of boundaries
- Calculated snowflaking/virtue signaling
- Lovebombing

She checks all three.

*Lovebombing*

I love that expression. That is exactly how I would describe her behavior.

Funny thing is that the lovebombing was only via text messages. In real life she was somewhat cold-ish and not as affectionate.

I always told her. You are like two different persons. The text messaging you, and the real you. I wish the real you would be more like the virtual one.

By the way, which online dating platform was it?

It rhymes with Kinder.

Dude this sh!t is mesmerizing...you should write books. People would buy them.

Thanks! Your comment is much appreciated. Although the second half (to be published) I was so tired writing it that the quality might have slightly dipped.

Holy sh!t! That was a ride!

Thanks for sharing your story brother. Yep, a pathological liar like mine. It is like an addiction to her. She would lie about the most mundane everyday items. She even lied to me about lying to my face. "Me? I never said that..." even though she would have said it a couple of minutes prior..or she goes "well, I did not mean it in this way" to cover the lie. And her favorite answer is "I don't know".

Why did you sleep with this guy? "I don't know"
Why did you cheat on me? "I don't know"
Why did you lie? "I don't know"

You can't get her to confess to anything unless you know it before hand or trick her into thinking that you know it. But even then, she will still deny it, or tell you an alternated, less vicious version of it.

My big mistake was that I tolerated her lies and even encouraged them by taking her back. You did not. Good on you.

Really manipulative women or outright cluster Bs sense what you're like while getting to know you, and then say things like "I can't believe how slutty women are!" or "I could never cheat, I hate cheating!" and so on, what gives this away as manipulation in retrospect is how flagrantly suggestive their statements are to you. It's virtue signaling/"snowflaking".

You provided a lot of info and insight. Thanks AttackFormation. Cluster B type personality, now that is a new term for me.

I have a lot of reading to do, starting by digesting your valuable posts.

 

[CaptainNotSoObvious]

This OP wreaks of beta and modern cuckholdry ideology. Just saying

Like one great philosopher inspired me to write:

Wait stringpuller, you just dissed me? I'm perplexed
compliment me on a line, insult me in the next,
Beta and modern cuckholdry in one, i'm impressed, damn
Suave? sure you might pretend you're the best, man
but if smoothness was a jelly, you'd be rotten jam, inconsumable
Maybe your words to you sound justifiable but the giant's woke, undeniable
Supplyin' smoke, got the fire stoked
Think you got me in a scope, but you grazed me
One more smart ass remark and you're Swayze
Your reply got the crowd yelling, "Woo"
So I'll let you retry, let's see who can out-petty who​

...All in good spirit

 

[synecdoche]

I didn't read all the comments yet but follow Black Widows advice.

Write down all the bad qualities of her, how she made you feel and how horrible she acted. This is so important. Write it down and read it now and then. Keep reminding yourself of it.

It's easy to forget the bad things and start desiring the good times again. Never forgive her.

 

[CaptainNotSoObvious]

Write down all the bad qualities of her, how she made you feel and how horrible she acted. This is so important. Write it down and read it now and then. Keep reminding yourself of it.

Hence the existence of this whole thread

 

[MrWood]

If this was an "Eastern European" woman, she was very serious about the marriage question.
It is a typical response, by your quotes, and she was very serious.

You lost her when you hesitated, whether as a future wife, LTR or FWB

You passed all her tests, and almost made a few errors, but recovered... and hesitated.

 

[AttackFormation]

If this was an "Eastern European" woman, she was very serious about the marriage question.
It is a typical response, by your quotes, and she was very serious.

You lost her when you hesitated, whether as a future wife, LTR or FWB

You passed all her tests, and almost made a few errors, but recovered... and hesitated.

You're kidding dude. This woman is a solklar cluster B and you are telling him she was honest about marriage? lol.

 

[CaptainNotSoObvious]

If this was an "Eastern European" woman, she was very serious about the marriage question.
It is a typical response, by your quotes, and she was very serious.

You lost her when you hesitated, whether as a future wife, LTR or FWB

You passed all her tests, and almost made a few errors, but recovered... and hesitated.

She was no wifey material. Trust me on this one brother. I will publish the rest tomorrow.

I am glad I escaped this one.

 

[CaptainNotSoObvious]

You're kidding dude. This woman is a solklar cluster B and you are telling him she was honest about marriage? lol.

I a pretty sure she was honest about getting married for the first three years. What she wasn't honest about was all the rest, lol

Although the "marriage ultimatum" was just a ruse to break with me as she knew I would say no.

The b*tch even told me once, after we broke up, "the way I get rid of unwanted men is to ask them to marry me" talking about her exes. Dumbass.

 

[AttackFormation]

I a pretty sure she was honest about getting married for the first three years. What she wasn't honest about was all the rest, lol

A;though the "marriage ultimatum" was just a ruse to break with me as she knew I would say no.

The b*tch even told me once, after we broke up, "the way I get rid of unwanted men is to ask them to marry me" talking about her exes. Dumbass.

Yea but like you said she was not honest about being a good wife, to say the least.

And yeah there you go lol.

 

[CaptainNotSoObvious]

Yea but like you said she was not honest about being a good wife, to say the least.

And yeah there you go lol.

Fcuk she disgusts me brother....but somehow, sometimes, I still miss that b*tch. Rather I still miss who she was pretending to be.

How would I have loved for that imaginary girl that she custom tailored to my fantasies to exist for real.

This is the women I fell in love with.

But alas, she was just an image, an unauthentic reproduction of my desires, and this is a crushing fact to reconcile with.

 

[MrWood]

"the way I get rid of unwanted men is to ask them to marry me"

Because when one says yes, I will stay with him

Im not judging her BPD etc. Im simply commenting on the seriousness of this to her. SoSuave often only sees the guys side and is VERY American centric.

She hates herself for fvcking, falling in love and doing this to all the men in her life, because they say no.
She wants to stop fvcking bf after bf if its not going somewhere real. To her mind real=marriage

just saying, I know the minds of these girls. I had 4 women this year ask if i am going to marry them.. that is 4 I am no longer fvcking because I didnt say yes... nor did I say no. They are off to find someone who will say yes.

 

[CaptainNotSoObvious]

Because when one says yes, I will stay with him

I asked her the exact same thing. "What happens if the guy you want to get rid of says yes?"

Here is her logic.

When she knows for sure that the guy doesn't want to marry her, this is how shes gets rid of him.
If he happens to say yes...she will find another excuse before the wedding to drop his ass.

So far, none of her exes said yes including me...go figure...

But yes, I get where you are coming from. She was serious when she would always talk about marriage, just not this last time. You will know why tomorrow.

The problem with this woman is that she doesn't see herself as being guilty or misbehaving or a fraud, because every time she lies, she gets rewarded by the man staying with her, or trying to come back to her. For her, lying is as normal as breathing.

 

[sosousage]

Fcuk she disgusts me brother....but somehow, sometimes, I still miss that b*tch. Rather I still miss who she was pretending to be.

How would I have loved for that imaginary girl that she custom tailored to my fantasies to exist for real.

This is the women I fell in love with.

But alas, she was just an image, an unauthentic reproduction of my desires, and this is a crushing fact to reconcile with.

no u just miss the sexxxzxzxzxzxzxzxzxzxzx


shes riding chad c0ck as you write 10pages long forum threads