"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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The conflicting voices in my head..

GrowingPains

GrowingPains

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Got a date tonight.

Also got a lot of work to do. And I'm gonna get that work done. So this voice tells me, go on the date. Give it an hour and go back to work.

The other voice is like 'but what if she wants to fvck.. you can't pass that up'. It's not like I'm on a dry steak or anything, I've recently broken that. But it feels like the second voice is needy af. Like it can't let go of the possibility of sex.

Is that scarcity or..?
 
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"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Billtx49

Billtx49

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GrowingPains said:
Got a date tonight.

Also got a lot of work to do. And I'm gonna get that work done. So this voice tells me, go on the date. Give it an hour and go back to work.

The other voice is like 'but what if she wants to fvck.. you can't pass that up'. It's not like I'm on a dry steak or anything, I've recently broken that. But it feels like the second voice is needy af. Like it can't let go of the possibility of sex.

Is that scarcity of..?
Click to expand...
You have work scheduled and dates scheduled, both can involve more time than originally expected, but there’s flexibility plus a time and place for everything. Schedule enough time for both, but don’t sacrifice one for the other… any other line of thinking is overthinking.
 
GrowingPains

GrowingPains

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 1, 2018
Messages
953
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Age
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billtx49 said:
You have work scheduled and dates scheduled, both can involve more time than originally expected, but there’s flexibility plus a time and place for everything. Schedule enough time for both, but don’t sacrifice one for the other… any other line of thinking is overthinking.
Click to expand...
Guilty as charged.

Date was fine. Kissed her but couldn't get her back to my place this time anyways.

Back to work.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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