The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[Don De Grey]

One thing's for sure. She's desperate of getting your attention.

Remind us of who broke up with who, and the reason's for it. It is clear she wants you back.

She broke up with me, we had been talking since February, didn’t start dating until late July, broke up end of August.

The first two weeks was probably the best start of any relationship I have had, the last day of those two weeks she stayed the night at my apartment.

The day after that is when things started falling apart. Her male roommate treated her like an ass when she went back home and the next day he said he was in love with her. This ****ed her up emotionally. I was on a plane to the other side of the country that day, once I landed her text messages got real short (one or two word replies all week).

When I got back home she told me what went down and said she needed a break, over the next few days I lost my **** like a typical afc.

Two weeks later she broke up with me, and said she wasn’t going to date anyone for awhile. We talked for about 10 days after that (she initiated all communication). Then one day she sent me an email about vaping killing people, I replied that I started the process of weaning myself off of nicotine after our first week of dating because of her allergies.

That is when no contact began, she didn’t reach out again until a month after that email.

 

[Don De Grey]

Replies in bold

Thanks man, just the kick in the ass that I needed. I just sent her a goodbye text, removed her from Instagram, blocked her from Facebook, messenger and her phone number before deleting her contact info.

 

[bcude]

She actually though i should just wait for her to go date other guys then use me as her security net.

I think this is in the back of the mind of most exes. It's alot about territory and control. When you're in a relationship you somehow feel the right over that person, where she is, what she does etc. The one that eventually become the dumper feels the sense of control since that person is the decider of both of your futures. This sense of power then gets lost when we withdraw and stay in NC, being in the dark, not knowing, because it sends a message we could be totally unphased by her leaving which obviously makes the hamster spin into overdrive since she obviously thought she was or could do better than us and seeing us miserable is the confirmation she wants to see now. It's very important for her to confirm she did the right thing breaking up with us, because doubts will always be there in the back of their minds knowing the chaotic nature of women.

Moral of the story. Stay mentally strong and don't give her back the power and validate her decision of leaving us. Dumpers do all kinds of things to lure us back in to regain power and then panic when reality hits them and they have to live with the consequences of their decision.

 

[narcissist]

Day 14 two weeks baby.

 

[the_cog]

Day 25. Everything is off track, exercise, sleep, diet. I'm depressed. At times I long for her to contact me. I need to snap out of it.

So I found out that her and her ex bf were still in communication during our time together. That now all of a sudden they are even best buds. Haha.. yeah, no wonder she needed time "to work on herself."

 

[HenBogan]

Day 7

I fcked up by fcking her...

I gave her all the power back.... No fool like an old fool...

 

[narcissist]

Day 16

 

[dude99]

Broke it with social media. Long story short: want to tell her off.

all that will do is validate her. Telling her off tells her she is under your skin

Sorry but the best thing to seriously do is walk away.

 

[Robert28]

Broke it with social media. Long story short: want to tell her off.

Girl I was dating started ignoring my texts, so I deleted her from social media. No fight, no nothing, just deleted. Got blocked for my troubles.lol

 

[dude99]

Girl I was dating started ignoring my texts, so I deleted her from social media. No fight, no nothing, just deleted. Got blocked for my troubles.lol

Too funny. What did she expect? You to just sit on the shelf waiting?

 

[bcude]

Girl I was dating started ignoring my texts, so I deleted her from social media. No fight, no nothing, just deleted. Got blocked for my troubles.lol

This is a major win. Low IL woman, you saved yourself alot of your most precious commodity - time. Well done.

 

[HenBogan]

Day 9.

So she came round 9 days ago, I don't know what I expected but she returned some things...

I kept it light and eventually We kissed, she laid on me for a cuddle and I guess it stirred my feelings....

We had sex quite a few times, she kept calling me baby as she did before... And again in the morning...

2 days later she is saying she wanted to be on her own at the moment...

Now I am dealing with the initial aspect of the second break plus her walking back in and then leaving when she wanted to.. I allowed it..

So yeah, I know you guys says 1 chance is enough but I guess I held hope..

Funny things is I had done so well and she even said that she admired me for not responding to her initially...

So here I go again on my own... To quote a great song...

 

[dude99]

Day 9.

So she came round 9 days ago, I don't know what I expected but she returned some things...

I kept it light and eventually We kissed,Mistake she laid on me for a cuddle and I guess it stirred my feelings....should have asked her to leave. Not stay and cuddle. She now knows you are on her string.

We had sex quite a few times, she kept calling me baby as she did before... And again in the morning...she got the validation and ego boost she was seeking. You destroyed challenge.

2 days later she is saying she wanted to be on her own at the moment...her ego is satisfied.

Now I am dealing with the initial aspect of the second break plus her walking back in and then leaving when she wanted to.. I allowed it..

So yeah, I know you guys says 1 chance is enough but I guess I held hope..this is why we say one chance. If a woman knows she can step into and out of your life on her whim, you are setting your self up for heartache.

Funny things is I had done so well and she even said that she admired me for not responding to her initially..she was respecting you. What do you think she thinks of you now?

So here I go again on my own... To quote a great song...

See comments in bold. Dude, i know you had hope and she knew it and counted on it. She used you. This right here is why i say One chance per lifetime

When they get one chance you aren't stuck on their string.

 

[HenBogan]

Dude99 mauser96,

Thanks for your thoughts... I know you guys are 100% right... Wise words and as always they are appreciated.

I removed her from all my media long ago and deleted her number, but her message caught me of guard and I let her in...

Hope is a bit of an ass kicker..

I have been dating, she even said she had seen me on tinder...

I do have 3/4 plates at the moment... One is completely stunning and she let me tie her up on Saturday night ha ha.. I digress..

But, as Jesse The Body once said, the son of a b!tch is dug in like an Alabama tick..

But only because I let her be...

 

[dude99]

Dude99 mauser96,

Thanks for your thoughts... I know you guys are 100% right... Wise words and as always they are appreciated.

I removed her from all my media long ago and deleted her number, but her message caught me of guard and I let her in...

Hope is a bit of an ass kicker..

I have been dating, she even said she had seen me on tinder...

I do have 3/4 plates at the moment... One is completely stunning and she let me tie her up on Saturday night ha ha.. I digress..

But, as Jesse The Body once said, the son of a b!tch is dug in like an Alabama tick..

But only because I let her be...

Dude99 mauser96,

Thanks for your thoughts... I know you guys are 100% right... Wise words and as always they are appreciated.

I removed her from all my media long ago and deleted her number, but her message caught me of guard and I let her in...

Hope is a bit of an ass kicker..

I have been dating, she even said she had seen me on tinder...

I do have 3/4 plates at the moment... One is completely stunning and she let me tie her up on Saturday night ha ha.. I digress..

But, as Jesse The Body once said, the son of a b!tch is dug in like an Alabama tick..

But only because I let her be...

Yes hope can be cruel and so can the woman dangling it in front of you.

Lessons are there to be learned. Hopefully you remember this lesson the next time she needs validation. Next time she reaches out, you ignore and delete. Should she happen to call or be face to face, follow the advice i gave a few posts back , be busy no to meeting no telling them how you are or anything going on in your life and 3 minutes only then you have to go.

 

[HenBogan]

Yes hope can be cruel and so can the woman dangling it in front of you.

Lessons are there to be learned. Hopefully you remember this lesson the next time she needs validation. Next time she reaches out, you ignore and delete. Should she happen to call or be face to face, follow the advice i gave a few posts back , be busy no to meeting no telling them how you are or anything going on in your life and 3 minutes only then you have to go.

It's a strange concept to understand that someone will use the person they professed to love...

As an aside...

I have been getting random WhatsApps from men for the past 3 weeks or so... 3 in total.

It maybe a coincidence but I think it's her.

One even tried calling me a week or so ago.

I have no proof and she brushed it off when I mentioned it to her but one week exactly to the evening we slept together I get another... Wtf???

 

[dude99]

It's a strange concept to understand that someone will use the person they professed to love...

As an aside...

I have been getting random WhatsApps from men for the past 3 weeks or so... 3 in total.

It maybe a coincidence but I think it's her.

One even tried calling me a week or so ago.

I have no proof and she brushed it off when I mentioned it to her but one week exactly to the evening we slept together I get another... Wtf???

It is strange yes that she would profess to love you then sleep with you then realize she needed to be pn her own, here is what happened.

You were no contact. Her hamster wheel was spinning. She was worrying where she stood. She was unsure. She showed up you two kissed snuggled and sechsed. Then she felt better passing all that anxiety on to you, and she left. she was validated. Her ego soothed. She moved on

Remember you were thinking with logic. 1 plus 1 is 2. If put my hand on a burning stove i will get burnt. Love is professed, therefore there is a second chance. This makes sence.

She thinks with emotions. Emotions are all over the place. Logic be dammed. One plus one equals potato. The opposite of up is salad. I am panicking because i dont know where i stand anymore with Henbogen. Oh he effed me. I can have him anytime. My ego is now fine. Next......

What you needed to do was thank her for dropping your stuff off then tell her you are busy you got to get busy for your date then close the door.

Leave her hamster wheel spinning.


As for the black dudes.....that is weird. Just block them if they are bothering you.

 

[bcude]

One thing i've noticed in breakups is that the woman sometimes overtly professes her love, not uncommonly for the first time during that relationship, just before she breaks up with you. My father once said it's a breakup gift and i think there is some truth to that.
They're have already been thinking about leaving for some time, feel bad and want to "be nice" or whatever to make it seem everything is great. Just speculation though.
It never makes sense and i've seen it alot.

 

[dude99]

One thing i've noticed in breakups is that the woman sometimes overtly professes her love, not uncommonly for the first time during that relationship, just before she breaks up with you. My father once said it's a breakup gift and i think there is some truth to that.
They're have already been thinking about leaving for some time, feel bad and want to "be nice" or whatever to make it seem everything is great. Just speculation though.
It never makes sense and i've seen it alot.

It is the sugar they sprinkle on the S#!t sandwich to ease their guilt. When they do break up with you yes they have planned this for a long time already and
90 % of the time it is because they have already started then next relationship
But if they profess love........then they aren't the bad person right???

Women will never accept responsibility for the failure of the relationship even when they are 100% responsible.

 

[bcude]

It is the sugar they sprinkle on the S#!t sandwich to ease their guilt. When they do break up with you yes they have planned this for a long time already and
90 % of the time it is because they have already started then next relationship
But if they profess love........then they aren't the bad person right???

Women will never accept responsibility for the failure of the relationship even when they are 100% responsible.

Yeah, important to look good in front of your girlfriends. The same sh1t with this false olive branch of friendship they offer as they break up.
Look like a kindhearted saint offering friendship as they end the relationship and then put social pressure on the guy making him the bad guy for declining her "nice" attempt to be friends.

"Ah, but atleast you did the right thing Lisa!! He certainly wasn't good for you and his true colours are coming out now... what a douche"