I met my now ex girlfriend in early 2015, i was 27, she 22. We clicked instantly and she came up with beeing exclusive three weeks after our first date, she wanted me to move in together after already three months and i gave in after five. I never got along so good with a woman, she showered me with affection and love and i was totally blinded by her appearance and her behavior around me that i played down the very first signs, that something with her wasn’t right.
Year four was a total disaster. Sex only every two weeks, sometimes three. I tried to talk to her but things went worse. Sex was only obligatory. The way i had sex with her felt horribly bad at this point. Her relationship credo „We have to talk about everything“ was just self protection for her. Her problems had to be fixed, mine were ignored. She was always little bit of dominant and controlling, but i had my way to deal with her, without getting into drama or huge fights very often.
I felt stuck and didn’t know what to do. So i searched across the internet, found stuff like SoSuave, The Rational Male, No More Mr. Nice Guy. I suckled every information i found. And everything went so clear.
I made a complete turnaround. I was always very ambitious about my job, so i learned new skills and left my former employer for a better income and a more interesting range of duty. I started working out again three to four times a week and went for band practice on a regular basis. I also learned to stand up against her in a firm but loving way. The only things i seemed to make right over all those years were, that i didn’t stop courting and dating her. She always told me how perfect our relationship was and how proud she was to have me in her life.
The last half year of our relationship went horribly wrong and i’m still brooding over what happened.
My mother had a sudden cerebral haemorrhage and we had to cancel our wedding. Short-time before i had a conversation with her, where i told her that i wasnt accepting her violating my boundaries anymore and that i cant live with sex two times per month. She made a sudden shift in her behavior, but i noticed, that she was in total anxiety mode.
She went so out of control… over a course of a month i had daily arguments about the cancelled wedding – she was unable to understand, that i dont want to marry in times, my mother lies with only half of her skullcap in hospital. I pulled back unconsciously, due tot he situation with my mother and my new job. She became controlling and manipulative in a way, it was unbearable. When i wanted to go out with my buddies she started to cry in order to keep me at home – she managed to keep me at home twice. The third time she did it again, i left our apartment to meet the buddies.
The next day i got an ultimatum: „You never go out alone over night or you leave me“. I didn’t gave in. The next weekend i went out with the buddies again, came home, found her nearly blacked out drunk, insulting me, throwing stuff at me, breaking up with me. She came crawling back at 7am.
The next weeks i was walking on eggshells. Everything seemed to be evidence, that i didn’t love her anymore. I wasnt able to give her a good feeling anymore. Wellnes Weekends, Hikes, nothing could satisfy her. I played too much music, worked out too much, was too focused on my career. I had daily arguments of 1-3 hours, till i was exhausted. This went along another month, in which she broke up twice, only to come back the other day. She tried to make rules, how often i can see my buddies, how often i can visit my mother in rehab. I didn’t give in. When she broke up the fourth time in two and a half months, i moved out of our apartment.
I called her five days after i moved out, to see how she does. She admitted that she didn’t want me to move out and we tried to work things out again. This went along for another 7 weeks of walking on eggshells, trying to setup rules, nagging that she wasn’t my number one priority. She recruited her whole family and her friends against me. I had arguments with her and her mother on a childs birthday in front of the whole family, with her and her grandma on grandma’s birthday and with several other people. She created her own evil picture of me and tried to break me down with the help of her family.
I **** you not, when i tell you, in this four exhausting months i suddenly had daily sex, dripping wet. When she got what she wanted, i was the man, when i didn’t accept her drama and rules, i was the worst enemy. She even kicked, slapped and hit me with fists in our fights, and insulted me because i showed not enough emotions in her eyes. Nothing i said and did was enough for her. I tried to give her a good feeling and she came with daily circular arguments till i felt brain washed. She checked my phone when i wasn’t around. When she got in my car and found a hair of her own she asked me „who was driving with you?“. When i was out with her and only looked in the direction of another woman she went jealous and disappeared for minutes, only to come back as if nothing happened. She bad mouthed my buddies and family like if she tried to convince me they are all bad, with the intent to isolate me. She complained about me not chatting enough over the day, although i was working. She complained about me not calling her when she was ten minutes late from work. I wasn’t able to do one step with her in my back.
I wasn’t willing to deal with her anymore and broke off.
With what kind of women had i have to deal here?
Sorry fort he long post and my probably bad english, im not a native speaker.
- In the first two months she managed to get into my facebook account over my gmail mailbox. Found old messages from my ex gf and started huge drama
- She disrespected her parents massively – i told her that’s a no go, she tried to change, but i had to know, that she would be able to treat me the same way
- She was extremly jealous
- When we had a fight, she tried to push me around or blocked doorways
- Gave me control calls when i was out with my buddies and made drama when i came home half an hour late
- She was overstepping boundaries i gave her, regarding family affairs on my side
Year four was a total disaster. Sex only every two weeks, sometimes three. I tried to talk to her but things went worse. Sex was only obligatory. The way i had sex with her felt horribly bad at this point. Her relationship credo „We have to talk about everything“ was just self protection for her. Her problems had to be fixed, mine were ignored. She was always little bit of dominant and controlling, but i had my way to deal with her, without getting into drama or huge fights very often.
I felt stuck and didn’t know what to do. So i searched across the internet, found stuff like SoSuave, The Rational Male, No More Mr. Nice Guy. I suckled every information i found. And everything went so clear.
I made a complete turnaround. I was always very ambitious about my job, so i learned new skills and left my former employer for a better income and a more interesting range of duty. I started working out again three to four times a week and went for band practice on a regular basis. I also learned to stand up against her in a firm but loving way. The only things i seemed to make right over all those years were, that i didn’t stop courting and dating her. She always told me how perfect our relationship was and how proud she was to have me in her life.
The last half year of our relationship went horribly wrong and i’m still brooding over what happened.
My mother had a sudden cerebral haemorrhage and we had to cancel our wedding. Short-time before i had a conversation with her, where i told her that i wasnt accepting her violating my boundaries anymore and that i cant live with sex two times per month. She made a sudden shift in her behavior, but i noticed, that she was in total anxiety mode.
She went so out of control… over a course of a month i had daily arguments about the cancelled wedding – she was unable to understand, that i dont want to marry in times, my mother lies with only half of her skullcap in hospital. I pulled back unconsciously, due tot he situation with my mother and my new job. She became controlling and manipulative in a way, it was unbearable. When i wanted to go out with my buddies she started to cry in order to keep me at home – she managed to keep me at home twice. The third time she did it again, i left our apartment to meet the buddies.
The next day i got an ultimatum: „You never go out alone over night or you leave me“. I didn’t gave in. The next weekend i went out with the buddies again, came home, found her nearly blacked out drunk, insulting me, throwing stuff at me, breaking up with me. She came crawling back at 7am.
The next weeks i was walking on eggshells. Everything seemed to be evidence, that i didn’t love her anymore. I wasnt able to give her a good feeling anymore. Wellnes Weekends, Hikes, nothing could satisfy her. I played too much music, worked out too much, was too focused on my career. I had daily arguments of 1-3 hours, till i was exhausted. This went along another month, in which she broke up twice, only to come back the other day. She tried to make rules, how often i can see my buddies, how often i can visit my mother in rehab. I didn’t give in. When she broke up the fourth time in two and a half months, i moved out of our apartment.
I called her five days after i moved out, to see how she does. She admitted that she didn’t want me to move out and we tried to work things out again. This went along for another 7 weeks of walking on eggshells, trying to setup rules, nagging that she wasn’t my number one priority. She recruited her whole family and her friends against me. I had arguments with her and her mother on a childs birthday in front of the whole family, with her and her grandma on grandma’s birthday and with several other people. She created her own evil picture of me and tried to break me down with the help of her family.
I **** you not, when i tell you, in this four exhausting months i suddenly had daily sex, dripping wet. When she got what she wanted, i was the man, when i didn’t accept her drama and rules, i was the worst enemy. She even kicked, slapped and hit me with fists in our fights, and insulted me because i showed not enough emotions in her eyes. Nothing i said and did was enough for her. I tried to give her a good feeling and she came with daily circular arguments till i felt brain washed. She checked my phone when i wasn’t around. When she got in my car and found a hair of her own she asked me „who was driving with you?“. When i was out with her and only looked in the direction of another woman she went jealous and disappeared for minutes, only to come back as if nothing happened. She bad mouthed my buddies and family like if she tried to convince me they are all bad, with the intent to isolate me. She complained about me not chatting enough over the day, although i was working. She complained about me not calling her when she was ten minutes late from work. I wasn’t able to do one step with her in my back.
I wasn’t willing to deal with her anymore and broke off.
With what kind of women had i have to deal here?
Sorry fort he long post and my probably bad english, im not a native speaker.