Which kind of woman did i escape here?

Mauser96

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I dated a cluster b once. Same story as yours.

Her husband had died, my "detective work" turned up his obit, said he "died unexpectedly".

So I flat out asked her how he died. She texted back "asphyxiation"

I let it drop. Know what asphyxiation means to me?

Hung himself
Gassed himself in the vehicle.


Consider yourself lucky you got away dude. I do.
 

Glassguy

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However the first two years were great (or i thought they were great…). I was a TOTAL beta.
I really didnt read past this. You set yourself up for this by not being a man and making your boundaries as well as what type of treatment you will allow clear in the beginning. So she had the power.

Take heed to these 2 things:

1.) You can NEVER start beta and then become all alpha later. Its like a boss who tries to be everyone's friend and then tries to get tough on the employees. Epic fail. You can never go from beta to alpha with the same woman. You can start alpha and ease up a little but you always have to retain power and keep a solid frame.

2.) When a woman acts disrespectful you respond by withdrawing your time and attention (Silence and distance). If she makes a strong effort to redeem herself (apologizing and doing something to make it up) you can then slowly work her back in. If she does it again, walk away because she is showing you who she is and at that point if you allow her negative actions to continue ITS YOUR FAULT, NOT HERS.


Start with a strong frame and maintain control from there on out. Be aloof, do what you want and what is best for you always. Never sacrifice what you want out of life or your standards for any woman.
 

xplt

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I really didnt read past this. You set yourself up for this by not being a man and making your boundaries as well as what type of treatment you will allow clear in the beginning. So she had the power.

Take heed to these 2 things:

1.) You can NEVER start beta and then become all alpha later. Its like a boss who tries to be everyone's friend and then tries to get tough on the employees. Epic fail. You can never go from beta to alpha with the same woman. You can start alpha and ease up a little but you always have to retain power and keep a solid frame.

2.) When a woman acts disrespectful you respond by withdrawing your time and attention (Silence and distance). If she makes a strong effort to redeem herself (apologizing and doing something to make it up) you can then slowly work her back in. If she does it again, walk away because she is showing you who she is and at that point if you allow her negative actions to continue ITS YOUR FAULT, NOT HERS.


Start with a strong frame and maintain control from there on out. Be aloof, do what you want and what is best for you always. Never sacrifice what you want out of life or your standards for any woman.
I know what you mean, but it didn't went this way. There were other triggers for her anxiety.
Cancelled wedding, me not giving in on her ultimatums and rules i.e.
She wasn't able to handle her anxiety and tried to control me to feel safe.
 
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