Stringing plates along

[Murk]

Need some help guys, back to my rotation of 3 plates. Still have Spanish Maria, Sophie and now the hot chick I met 12 days ago (going to dinner on Wed and spending the night at her place).

Maria is cool, it was only ever sex and teaching each other English/Spanish with a dash of feelings more recently.

Sophie on the other hand is going into overdrive. She found me texting this new girl and was going mad, she also kept trying to unlock my phone with my thumb while I was drunk last week, very slyly, she even phoned this girl 6 times from my phone, kept taking my phone and saying "Siri, call alison" and when she answered said "Alison I think we need to talk" I snatched the phone and ended the call. Sophie said I'm leading everyone on, (maybe Sophie slightly).

It's just gotten too much with her, the sex is nice and she does lots for me but I think it's really time to end everything with Sophie and go separate ways before she actually murders me. HOWEVER, she treats me like a king and I don't want to say bye to all the benefits she brings.

What should I do? Just start seeing her much less? She came over Saturday morning and stayed all day and night, second weekend in a row, it's like she's trying to dominate all my time. Or do I just say look I think we need to cool it off for a bit and then just forget about her forever?

This Alison chick has much more potential, but lives further away from me (about 50min/1 hour) and she doesn't drive which just means more effort. However she's very hot, funny, intelligent, has a good career (albeit in the early stages), sex is great, we generally click and she's just come out of a 7 year relationship since she was 19 so relatively low body count/mileage and I can also see her treating me like a king too.

 

[marmel75]

Need some help guys, back to my rotation of 3 plates. Still have Spanish Maria, Sophie and now the hot chick I met 12 days ago (going to dinner on Wed and spending the night at her place).

Maria is cool, it was only ever sex and teaching each other English/Spanish with a dash of feelings more recently.

Sophie on the other hand is going into overdrive. She found me texting this new girl and was going mad, she also kept trying to unlock my phone with my thumb while I was drunk last week, very slyly, she even phoned this girl 6 times from my phone, kept taking my phone and saying "Siri, call alison" and when she answered said "Alison I think we need to talk" I snatched the phone and ended the call. Sophie said I'm leading everyone on, (maybe Sophie slightly).

It's just gotten too much with her, the sex is nice and she does lots for me but I think it's really time to end everything with Sophie and go separate ways before she actually murders me. HOWEVER, she treats me like a king and I don't want to say bye to all the benefits she brings.

What should I do? Just start seeing her much less? She came over Saturday morning and stayed all day and night, second weekend in a row, it's like she's trying to dominate all my time. Or do I just say look I think we need to cool it off for a bit and then just forget about her forever?

This Alison chick has much more potential, but lives further away from me (about 50min/1 hour) and she doesn't drive which just means more effort. However she's very hot, funny, intelligent, has a good career (albeit in the early stages), sex is great, we generally click and she's just come out of a 7 year relationship since she was 19 so relatively low body count/mileage and I can also see her treating me like a king too.

How about you act like a man, sit her down and have a grown up conversation with her? Or do you plan on acting like you are 12 your whole life?

Gotta learn to act like a man in these situations at some point bro. Might as well be now.

 

[Murk]

How about you act like a man, sit her down and have a grown up conversation with her? Or do you plan on acting like you are 12 your whole life?

Gotta learn to act like a man in these situations at some point bro. Might as well be now.

It's like my friend said last week: "you need to either make her wifey or lock it off... or you will have a suicide on your hands"

She's mental but she lives close to me and does stuff for me, I'm not ready to let go of the most local accessible plate I've manage to get so far. We met over a year ago and I've dangled her this long, why stop now?

 

[17 shots]

Keep doing any, and everything you want, until it all blows up in your face, and then let THEM decide what they want to do. Sophie isn't gonna do anything, she knows what's up, and is still choosing to stick around. Now see what the others do when they find out. You just keep messing with whoever sticks around, they'll walk when they want to

 

[GrowingPains]

Always think about what you want and then act according to that. If you want Sophie around, keep her around. But if she's getting in the way of what you want, then ditch her. Or let her ditch you.

Honesty is the best policy. And if you've been honest, you can't lead her on. If she wants you to be exclusive, she'll indicate that somehow. And then you'll get to decide whether that fits what you want.

Ezpz.

 

[cola]

Always be honest with women. It’s not manly to lead women on. Make it clear as often as needed you aren’t committed to anyone. If it doesn’t come up great but when it does just be honest. If they stick around great if not that’s ok too.

 

[Murk]

Always think about what you want and then act according to that. If you want Sophie around, keep her around. But if she's getting in the way of what you want, then ditch her. Or let her ditch you.

Honesty is the best policy. And if you've been honest, you can't lead her on. If she wants you to be exclusive, she'll indicate that somehow. And then you'll get to decide whether that fits what you want.

Ezpz.

She is starting to indicate this now. She came over last night and cooked lasagne for me l while I watched GoT and drank wine she bought. Now I have about 4 meals for lunch at work .

I called her “friend” in fact I kept calling her “friend” and she got pissed off, I’m trying to reinforce the fact she’s not my gf, she knows we are more than friends but knows I’m holding back committing. This is why she doesn’t try to introduce me to her friends any more. We banged and she went on her way.

I consider my game tightest with women who know or suspect, yet say nothing, about my fvucking other women.

The ones who I keep around are the ones who either don't care or who are just too afraid to confront/risk losing me. Either way, that is what I call "owning frame."

I won't ever argue against 100% honesty, but I respectfully disagree that I need clarify to ANYBODY who I'm seeing, fvucking, etc. I don't ask about their sex life because I do not care if they're fvucking other men, and I expect the same in return.

100

I never ask them who they are seeing or dating. It’s actually due to SS that I enter new relationships with a strong frame like you mention, I’ve learned you can dictate how people receive you by main ring it from the outset and sticking to it.

 

[marmel75]

I consider my game tightest with women who know or suspect, yet say nothing, about my fvucking other women.

The ones who I keep around are the ones who either don't care or who are just too afraid to confront/risk losing me. Either way, that is what I call "owning frame."

I won't ever argue against 100% honesty, but I respectfully disagree that I need clarify to ANYBODY who I'm seeing, fvucking, etc. I don't ask about their sex life because I do not care if they're fvucking other men, and I expect the same in return.

You dont need to explain it. But if you are going to complain about her constantly bringing it up like OP does then the answer is to simply sit her ass down on the couch and say:

"Listen, I enjoy spending time with you but we are not exclusive and I am dating other women. If that's a problem for you then we should stop seeing each other because that isn't going to change. Either way, this is the last time I expect you to bring this up."

Then shut up and let her talk. Stay firm and reiterate your position and let hwr know she is free to leave if that is what she wants to do, but if she decides to stay then there will be no more sh!tty behavior tolerated from her on this.

Problem is now resolved. Either she leaves and you no longer need to deal with it or she stays and accepts her status. As a grown man you clearly let her know what you will and will not accept from her. Ive never been one who likes hiding in the shadows with this type of sh!t...just communicate with her and she will respect you for it. She might not like it and might decide to leave but you will still have her respect for doing it.

Stringing people along is something women do. Men should not play that game.

 

[Murk]

You dont need to explain it. But if you are going to complain about her constantly bringing it up like OP does then the answer is to simply sit her ass down on the couch and say:

"Listen, I enjoy spending time with you but we are not exclusive and I am dating other women. If that's a problem for you then we should stop seeing each other because that isn't going to change. Either way, this is the last time I expect you to bring this up."

Then shut up and let her talk. Stay firm and reiterate your position and let hwr know she is free to leave if that is what she wants to do, but if she decides to stay then there will be no more sh!tty behavior tolerated from her on this.

Problem is now resolved. Either she leaves and you no longer need to deal with it or she stays and accepts her status. As a grown man you clearly let her know what you will and will not accept from her. Ive never been one who likes hiding in the shadows with this type of sh!t...just communicate with her and she will respect you for it. She might not like it and might decide to leave but you will still have her respect for doing it.

Stringing people along is something women do. Men should not play that game.

You're right, this is the way it should be handled.

However, I'd rather not risk losing Sophie just yet as she serves a purpose so I will try to tactfully do the above without outright telling her I'm dating others.

3 three plates are on the pill and I'm barebacking them all (I'm allergic to latex) - so I think it would f*** everything up if they thought I was dipping into other pools of vag

 

[Spaz]

You live and breathe this drama man.

It's right up ur alley.

Do it any other way and you'd end up miserable.