"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Making moves with a movie star

voavoavoa

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yo everybody,

I would greatly appreciate some of your wisdom as I am a bit stuck.

I went to see a play that a good friend of mine was in on Saturday night and went for a night out with the cast afterwards. There was a girl there, an actress in the play, whom I could feel there was a vibe going. We went dancing and I moved in, however she was seemed shy and very concerned about other people seeing her romancing. During the night people came up to her I assumed because they had seen her in the play. The night went on and we were holding hands and having a real nice connection however there were too many of her cast mates around for me to be able to isolate her and get anywhere further. I left with her number and we agreed to meet back in the city in a few weeks when she's back.

I found out when I left from my friend who is in the play that she is actually a really famous actress and the people coming up to her were engaging with her because of the films she's been in not the play.

So now I have this super high status girl that I want to engage with but am not really sure how. I'm a rockstar myself and am incredibly talented but don't have anywhere near as much money/social status as her (yet!)

I text her the day after saying that it was a real delight dancing and chatting with her and that it felt quite cosmic - she hasn't replied. I recognise now this may have been a bit beta but its what I felt to do.

What should I do next? how should I approach this now? - she seemed really into me on the night but also seemed somewhat reluctant to engage, I think due to her fame.

Peace people
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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MatureDJ

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Act like it's no big thing, but do praise her for being successful as you would for anyone that is successful.

EDIT: If you're a rockstar [sic], what difference would it make?
 

voavoavoa

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Yeah to me it's not really a big thing that she's mega successful, it just seems that I am now the one chasing as she hasn't replied to my message.

How to do I reframe it so it's not me chasing her?
 

mrgoodstuff

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Yeah to me it's not really a big thing that she's mega successful, it just seems that I am now the one chasing as she hasn't replied to my message.

How to do I reframe it so it's not me chasing her?
By ignoring her and doing something else. Another woman.
 

voavoavoa

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By ignoring her and doing something else. Another woman.
But I wanna be with this woman and due to her circumstances if I don't chase she just may never contact me - which although I appreciate the logic that there are so many women in the world, this one is particularly interesting to me.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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mrgoodstuff

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But I wanna be with this woman and due to her circumstances if I don't chase she just may never contact me - which although I appreciate the logic that there are so many women in the world, this one is particularly interesting to me.
Dont be stupid.
 

voavoavoa

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Fvck her. If she not worried about you why do you care?
coz she's a real groovy babe and is perhaps guarded due to her fame. I'm gonna call her and tell her whats up. Chase her with relentless vigour and of course an air of joyful nonchalance.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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voavoavoa

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Purpose. Deal with women who choose you. 3 date rule. You should be fvcking.
I have my purpose and am moving swiftly towards it without any compromise and I am spinning plates, so sex isn't an issue. She was totally into me that night but I couldn't get rid of her friends so we could be alone. She's a real babe that's why I want to spend some time with her - I just need some advice on how to achieve that without it being me obviously chasing her.
 

mrgoodstuff

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I have my purpose and am moving swiftly towards it without any compromise and I am spinning plates, so sex isn't an issue. She was totally into me that night but I couldn't get rid of her friends so we could be alone. She's a real babe that's why I want to spend some time with her - I just need some advice on how to achieve that without it being me obviously chasing her.
You cant chase them. Ask Howie. If she was interested shed be contacting you. Focus on other girls.
 

voavoavoa

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You cant chase them. Ask Howie. If she was interested shed be contacting you. Focus on other girls.
Perhaps you're right - I will certainly focus on other girls however if she doesn't contact me I will call her ask her out, got nothing to lose.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

Read more...

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