"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Hipsters = downfall of society

MillionBillionaire

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Hipsters are even worse than syboys when it comes to the gradual decline of men and western civilization.

I went to a bar in the "hipster" part of our metropolis with my girl and I tried to order some food.

First thing on the BURGER menue was veggie burger, then some other boca burger THEN they had bison burger ... but they had no regular Fing burger on the menue, you had to "build your own" if you wanted a regular bacon cheese burger.

Then the straws they gave us were bright neon colored straws with about the thickness of a toothpick. I threw them pansey azz straws on the floor whenever she gave me one.

The BBQ sauce was Catsup in a packet..

They had NO Coca Cola .. who the F drinks ginger soda wtf.

The Bill came out to exactly 35$ and no description on the receipt. Like they don't believe in Fing taxes or something.

I could literally go on and on... but lord help us we are all Fxked if this shyt spreads.

I won't even mention the beards. skinny jeans and leather jackets. I was in the Fing twilight zone.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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MillionBillionaire

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And one more thing their ranch is right on the money, house made and everything.. but why the F did they give me bbq sauce that was in packets?

WTF DO THEY GOT AGAINST BBQ SAUCE?
 

Chev.Chelios

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I almost got into a few brawls with them riding my bike on the street.

grew up riding bmx and my friends would ride street spots in the downtown area, fixie hipsters used to assert their god given authority and force us to ride in the "bike lane"

snooty, brown nosed, toxic scum bags id like to see dead under a used prius, fvcking fags.

/rant
 

highSpeed

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Hipsters are even worse than syboys when it comes to the gradual decline of men and western civilization.

I went to a bar in the "hipster" part of our metropolis with my girl and I tried to order some food.

First thing on the BURGER menue was veggie burger, then some other boca burger THEN they had bison burger ... but they had no regular Fing burger on the menue, you had to "build your own" if you wanted a regular bacon cheese burger.

Then the straws they gave us were bright neon colored straws with about the thickness of a toothpick. I threw them pansey azz straws on the floor whenever she gave me one.

The BBQ sauce was Catsup in a packet..

They had NO Coca Cola .. who the F drinks ginger soda wtf.

The Bill came out to exactly 35$ and no description on the receipt. Like they don't believe in Fing taxes or something.

I could literally go on and on... but lord help us we are all Fxked if this shyt spreads.

I won't even mention the beards. skinny jeans and leather jackets. I was in the Fing twilight zone.
Hipsters are the end of the counter culture, where all roads of the counter culture lead, to a single, homogenized, homo outfit to signal to everyone how "different" that they are by all wearing the same thing, looking the same way and spouting the same nonsense. Hipsters are the end of western society, the sanitization of western culture and the sign of a stagnant and lazy group of people.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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PeasantPlayer

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There are hipsters all over Chicago, they are cultural soul suckers. Talk about driving the identity of a neighborhood out and making it plain and boring. They are an ugly lot of people
 
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