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Girl i'm going out is rude sometimes

djthiago1

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This girl i'm going out with can be rude sometimes, she's 20 so she's pretty dumb, and i'm planning on calling her out on it, she has a tendency of making small criticisms, example: we were talking about arms and hands, she said she think my arms and hands are very handsome but that my nail are ugly, next date she said she liked my pants but that she thinks they're the wrong size.

How do i call her out on this? It's getting annoying.

I was planning on doing it Doc Love's way: 'you know, most guys hate this, but i must be insane cause i really like when you criticize me.'
 

marmel75

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Just say something silly back to her...

"You know, I like how you usually do your hair but today it looks like you are wearing a wig for some reason..."
 

lamath

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Tell her that real.man dont give a **** about nail
 

djthiago1

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Just say something silly back to her...

"You know, I like how you usually do your hair but today it looks like you are wearing a wig for some reason..."
I fear coming back with more of this will just show her that its okay to point things out.
 

soulforge

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Give some chit back... Mention her azz is looking bigger than usual..

Anyhow play it cool... However if at ANY point she starts to seriously disrespect you, then you must immediately drop her azz
 

djthiago1

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Give some chit back... Mention her azz is looking bigger than usual..

Anyhow play it cool... However if at ANY point she starts to seriously disrespect you, then you must immediately drop her azz
Its not complete disrespect shes very cool even with self deprecating humor about herself, i believe its just poor social skills, she says things in a very innocent way.
 

oldmanofthesea

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So choose to let it go. Or if it truly bothers you, tell her bluntly, but politely, that you don't like it and set your boundary with her. If she crosses it or pushes back on your statement, you drop her and don't look back. You have to be willing to walk away to enforce this.
 

djthiago1

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So choose to let it go. Or if it truly bothers you, tell her bluntly, but politely, that you don't like it and set your boundary with her. If she crosses it or pushes back on your statement, you drop her and don't look back. You have to be willing to walk away to enforce this.
You mean just straight up saying i don't like it? People are usually sensitive about criticism, that's why i planned on taking a side shot like Doc Love suggests.
 
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RangerMIke

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You can never go wrong by mirroring the behavior of women. Like @soulforge said, give it back to her. But do it in a funny way. For example, you can tell her her jeans make her @ss look big.... so she should just take them off. Another thing you can do is just flat out ignore any little digs... she will either get the message and stop doing it, or she'll keep it up. If she keeps it up, just walk away and find a chick that is fun and pleasant to be with.
 

djthiago1

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You can never go wrong by mirroring the behavior of women. Like @soulforge said, give it back to her. But do it in a funny way. For example, you can tell her her jeans make her @ss look big.... so she should just take them off. Another thing you can do is just flat out ignore any little digs... she will either get the message and stop doing it, or she'll keep it up. If she keeps it up, just walk away and find a chick that is fun and pleasant to be with.
So mirroring would be better than calling her out? Just wanna b crystal clear on this.
 

Alvafe

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You can never go wrong by mirroring the behavior of women. Like @soulforge said, give it back to her. But do it in a funny way. For example, you can tell her her jeans make her @ss look big.... so she should just take them off. Another thing you can do is just flat out ignore any little digs... she will either get the message and stop doing it, or she'll keep it up. If she keeps it up, just walk away and find a chick that is fun and pleasant to be with.
that don't work as well as you think :p if you only aim on her ass is big, possible she will like, serious I had one time a girl who was losing weight and her main complain about it was she was losing her ass. but teasing her, and giving backhanded compliments still works well.

but the main problem here is the dude taking what she says serious, that is the issue, she says something he get pissy, and lose his cool, his comments "people are sensitive about criticism means he still have a long way to go.
 

oldmanofthesea

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You mean just straight up saying i don't like it? People are usually sensitive about criticism, that's why i planned on taking a side shot like Doc Love suggests.
Yes I do. Your concern for her sensitivity to criticism, while she herself is criticizing you, is something you should spend some time pondering.

Side stepping it and being indirect via agree and amplify or throwing it back at her definitely can work too, but not always. Speaking your truth, setting boundaries, and being willing to walk away always works. Just be sure it's something important and that you aren't bothered by every little thing. The Doc Love comment is fairly direct and communicates that you don't like it without making it seem like you are making a huge deal out of it, so that's fine. Agree and Amplify, IMHO is best for sh*t tests a girl you JUST met might give you to size you up, or one of your girl's friends might do to you.
 
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soulforge

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So mirroring would be better than calling her out? Just wanna b crystal clear on this.
Test the waters..

The only downside with mirroring is, she might escalate things even further & then it becomes digs back and fourth, until one of you goes a little too far.

If you ignored her BS and just gave her that look, she might just take a hint and get the message.

If she continues down this road, or the disrespect becomes serious, absolutely do not put up with it.

Thats a dangerous road to go down!
 

djthiago1

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that don't work as well as you think :p if you only aim on her ass is big, possible she will like, serious I had one time a girl who was losing weight and her main complain about it was she was losing her ass. but teasing her, and giving backhanded compliments still works well.

but the main problem here is the dude taking what she says serious, that is the issue, she says something he get pissy, and lose his cool, his comments "people are sensitive about criticism means he still have a long way to go.
Im not losing my cool, i honestly dont care, its just that, that isnt healthy for two people, ive seen first hand how little zingers escalate over time like a snowball and become just outright disrespect.
 

sazc

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So she's negging you? But the negs are sh1t tests when she does it and It"s only bad when she does it to a he.

straight double standard

Sime people exist exactly this way in relationships, and are happy with each other. It creates push pull drama that leads to fire and passion, and they like that. That's okay, but you need to be paired with someone who is of same mind.

I would hold your frame, make your standards very clear and ask her why she believes it's ok to insult you, ever. Just tell her that's not what you are looking for IN A WOMAN. That should stop her immediately and, if it doesn't, she needs to be yesterday's trash.
 
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