"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Was I friend zoned?

tiziki

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So I need a guy's perspective...

I've been crushing on this guy and I thought he felt the same way. We were all out with a group of friends earlier tonight and he's sitting next to me. A couple gets in the middle of the floor and starts dancing so we both are recording it. As I'm sitting next to him he posts the video of the couple dancing on his social media (which is public by the way) with the caption, "I wish I had someone I could dance with".

Did he just friend zone me?

He used to like some of my pictures, but now he doesn't like any of mine even though I like all of his. He hasn't like any of my pictures. However, right after he stopped liking my pictures his best friend started like every picture that I've posted in the last few months. Am I being friend zoned?
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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vanballmoos

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I'm calling friend zone. It seems like he's making way for his best friend.

Plus, I would think if he was trying to flirt with you with his caption in a subtle way he would be flirting by liking your pictures, which is equally subtle. If he had just said it out loud it would be flirting with you. Posting it for all of his followers to see=I'm really single/want attention.
 

GrowingPains

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Just flirt/make a move and see how he responds. And don't do it online, do it in person. No need to play guessing games, that's a waste of time.
 

redskinsfan92

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You a lady?
What's his body language? Aimed towards you? Aimed away? Doesn't sound too good, but a lot of guys are scared to make a move. Flirt and see how that goes.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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vanballmoos

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Just flirt/make a move and see how he responds. And don't do it online, do it in person. No need to play guessing games, that's a waste of time.
you don't think it's a little weird that he no longer likes her pictures, and hasn't in months, but his best friend is liking her pictures?
 

redskinsfan92

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you don't think it's a little weird that he no longer likes her pictures, and hasn't in months, but his best friend is liking her pictures?
That means he probably showed or told his friend about her. Could be letting his friend go after her.
 

tiziki

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You a lady?
What's his body language? Aimed towards you? Aimed away? Doesn't sound too good, but a lot of guys are scared to make a move. Flirt and see how that goes.
I am. I don't think he's afraid to make a move. Since we're all in the same friend group I know a far removed friend of ours that he used to date. He kissed her the first time they ever met.
 

redskinsfan92

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I am. I don't think he's afraid to make a move. Since we're all in the same friend group I know a far removed friend of ours that he used to date. He kissed her the first time they ever met.
Oh, ok. Doesn't too good then.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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redskinsfan92

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Why do you say that?
He was sitting next to you, but was on his phone posting about wishing he had someone to dance with instead of dancing with you. That is pretty clear sign. Either he was shy or not interested. You said he kissed a girl in his past the first time he met, so he is not shy. So, he is not interested.
 

GrowingPains

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Like I said, no need to guess. Just go get your answer in real life.

Our speculation will only give you a hint as to what he's thinking. Only he really knows what he's thinking. Find out from him.

It doesn't really matter if he made way for his friend. You want what you want so go for it. Or his friend lol.
 

chris2for

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He was sitting next to you, but was on his phone posting about wishing he had someone to dance with instead of dancing with you. That is pretty clear sign. Either he was shy or not interested. You said he kissed a girl in his past the first time he met, so he is not shy. So, he is not interested.
This.
Plus, if I'm with a girl and enjoying her company I'm not posting on social media while she's sitting right next to me...
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

GrowingPains

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you don't think it's a little weird that he no longer likes her pictures, and hasn't in months, but his best friend is liking her pictures?
I couldn't care less. This reading of social media behavior is childish. If you had asked this question, I would've said: Take what you want, be a man.

My advice to her is the same. Either she find some resolve by taking action or next him. Easy.
 

flowtheory

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Right, but he could've been hinting with his caption, "I wish I had someone to dance with" right?
That’s wishful thinking.

When a guy is interested he will make it pretty obvious by flirting with you, showing interest, good body language. He surely isn’t going to be on his social media if a woman who he has interest in is sitting right next to him.

But hey, you could go out on a limb and make it overtly clear you have interest in him. Maybe he thinks you’re just friends if you’ve known each other for awhile and during the early days he was with someone else.
 

redskinsfan92

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This.
Plus, if I'm with a girl and enjoying her company I'm not posting on social media while she's sitting right next to me...
Exactly. I was talking to a girl at a party a few weeks ago. My phone was buried in my pocket untouched. Forgot I had a phone. Was too busy flirting.
 

chris2for

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That’s wishful thinking.

When a guy is interested he will make it pretty obvious by flirting with you, showing interest, good body language. He surely isn’t going to be on his social media if a woman who he has interest in is sitting right next to him.

But hey, you could go out on a limb and make it overtly clear you have interest in him. Maybe he thinks you’re just friends if you’ve known each other for awhile and during the early days he was with someone else.
And making it known to his followers he wants someone to dance with. He might as well have had posted "hey I'm 100% single and not interested in anyone".
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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