Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
How necessary do you think it is to get the phone number first? I used to have more luck back when i was better at this by just setting up the date right on the app.You'll get a lot of flakes. It's a numbers game. Of 50 girls, you might only have a convo with 2. Of two of those, you might only set up a date with one, and that one might flake. Honestly, OLD is a pretty massive waste of time in general, but it can work.
I think in terms of getting the date - it's important to bounce to text quickly. I'd say after a good 5-10 solid messages, you can just go with something like "here, text me xxx-xxx-xxxx". Or even just give her an excuse: "here, this app sucks, text me: xxx-xxx-xxxx" or whatever. You're not writing a book here, you don't have time to sit there all day and try to schmooze these girls. Get in and get out. A few playful, mildly sexual messages back and forth and go for it.
Once you're texting, you should relatively quickly be setting a date up, once she feels mildly comfortable. I don't think it has to be super clever. You can work it into things or your inside jokes in a clever way, or just come with "let's grab a drink soon, when are you free?". You want to find out with very little effort whether she's willing to meet up or not, so that you can move on to the next one if she doesn't. You shouldn't be spending more than 3 days messaging IMO before trying to set something up.
Another thing is being PATIENT. I think one of the best ways to scare them off is messaging back quickly. You should not be checking this thing every hour. It should periodically be 3-4 hrs later or the next day when you get back. Sometimes even longer. Rules can be stupid, but take like twice as long to message back as it took her to get back to you.
At least those are my thoughts on it.
I mean i'm a big fan of it. I really think it crosses some "mental barrier" for them and makes them more comfortable and more familiar. For a lot of girls, meeting some dude off tinder directly is slutty and weird, but having a good convo and texting a bit first is a lot different. Idk bro, girls are weird. But it's seemed to work well in my experience. Plus you immediately feel out how compliant they are and it's a very easy way to gauge interest. If a girl isn't willing to transition to text, i wouldn't waste much more time. Of course, some girls will give a minor resistance to texting you and give you sh&t, but in the end, if they're interested, they will text in my experience.How necessary do you think it is to get the phone number first? I used to have more luck back when i was better at this by just setting up the date right on the app.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
How do you ask for the date? Should i just straight up give a date, place and time, or do you usually ask then when they're free? Asking them sounds kind of wimpy to me, but if works....It's a numbers game. Ask for the date within the first 5 messages. Anything else is just spinning your wheels.
Simple.How do you fellas set up your dates on OLD?
I think i lost my mojo, convos are going fine, but it goes downhill as soon as i try to set a date.
It's in my sig. I start with a 2 lines of small talk, then throw this feeler out first -How do you ask for the date? Should i just straight up give a date, place and time, or do you usually ask then when they're free? Asking them sounds kind of wimpy to me, but if works....
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
It's weird, i get the feeling that i might be scaring them off for setting the date up too soon, but then again, i dont want to waste all conversation topics on the internet.Its all about screening out the low interest women and the women that I have low interest in. There is truly more to looks when you have abundance and OLD is all about the looks. So take the time to swap a few messages back and forth and at least find out what stuff she is interested in. She may be super attractive but tells me that she is a major feminist. Next!
I dont advocate to message back and forth for days before setting up at date however. If there is attraction on your end and she at least shows mutual interests as you (hobbies, what she likes doing for fun, etc) set the date up. It can be as simple as "It was good chatting with you but I have a very busy schedule today and I have to run. Let me know your availability and we can meet up for a drink and pick this good convo back up".
Thats it. Set the date and then try not to initiate too much communication between then and the date. It is important to set the date up soon, within 2-3 days is good so there isnt too much time for her to second guess, think she found a better option, chat too long over text and then there is no mystery, etc.
The idea is to get them out on a date, have them come over and hang out, etc.It's weird, i get the feeling that i might be scaring them off for setting the date up too soon, but then again, i dont want to waste all conversation topics on the internet.
Hey let's go get drinks. How about Tuesday or Thursday?. We can go to this fun retro bar I know.How do you ask for the date? Should i just straight up give a date, place and time, or do you usually ask then when they're free? Asking them sounds kind of wimpy to me, but if works....
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
How far do you set the date to? I'm not putting a lot of faith in these dates set 5 days away with someone i met online.“Why don’t we __________ this Saturday?”
I have always found that phrase to be very effective. I think it might set up a question in her mind something like, “Yeah, why not take a chance with this guy?”
Try out the official Atom Smasher branded “Why don’t we _____ ?” That became my go-to phrase once I saw how well it worked.
Most pickup gurus and biz guy say its that principle of 1/3.How do you fellas set up your dates on OLD?
I think i lost my mojo, convos are going fine, but it goes downhill as soon as i try to set a date.
If I acquired digits, I setup social encounter (not date) ASAP. I am talking, within the week. She gets a Monday or a Tuesday. Never a fru/Saturday /Sunday. If I smashed, I might give a Sunday or Wed night.How far do you set the date to? I'm not putting a lot of faith in these dates set 5 days away with someone i met online.
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.