"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Text game when you're busy?

MoreThanSmooth

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Had this sweet date with a chick a couple of weeks ago, totally nailed it.

Problem is, 2 weeks is quite a bit longer than I wanted to wait to set up the second date, and looks like it's going to be longer because I'm inundated with work.

The girl still seems to respond well when I text her and she's trying to set up the 2nd date with me herself still, but at the same time I feel like the text game is cringe at the moment. I'm not saying anything remotely interesting to her. Best to just STFU until I have time for that date?
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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jaymbrs

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Had this sweet date with a chick a couple of weeks ago, totally nailed it.

Problem is, 2 weeks is quite a bit longer than I wanted to wait to set up the second date, and looks like it's going to be longer because I'm inundated with work.

The girl still seems to respond well when I text her and she's trying to set up the 2nd date with me herself still, but at the same time I feel like the text game is cringe at the moment. I'm not saying anything remotely interesting to her. Best to just STFU until I have time for that date?
I've stopped texting and talking on the phone on the regular awhile ago because it gives me less to talk about during the date. I've also found that absence actually works in making the women more interested in you. It has that mystery to it. Plus as others have stated you could also shoot yourself in the foot by texting something dumb and her taking it the wrong way.
 

HankHill

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It's a double edged sword, a little texting here and there is good to keep their interest but like you said if it's too much it turns boring...that's when it's time to back off, actually before it turns boring. I usually do two or three messages max per day but I end up doing more at times if it turns into a witty banter. Post some of the last messages perhaps so others can provide a more direct feedback.
 

MoreThanSmooth

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What's annoying me is that I had this really nice mystery vibe going on. She was getting in touch first.

Now I'm dropping some really 100% dork lines and sending long rambling texts. I think I will just shut up for a few days and let her talk to me first.

Don't think I'm in danger of losing this one but I'm making things much harder and cringier work than it has to be. Don't know why I keep sending mini-novels that are boring asf...
 

HankHill

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Don't know why I keep sending mini-novels that are boring asf...
Haha, I do it too only to realize it's because I'm trying to hard to keep her interested in me, not really the IDGAF attitude a guy with plenty of options will have...so I remind myself and back off a bit (not entirely). Now some women will bounce because they are getting hit on all the time, nothing you can do about that.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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marmel75

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Play the question game with her...ach day you both can ask the other person one question about anything you want. And you also have to answer the question you ask.

Definitely is a great way to keep interest high. This also works especially well prior to a first date if its going to be a longer than a few days between now and the date. Your flake rate will literally be 0%.
 

HankHill

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I've done that but in person like set the rules...i.e. we each get to ask 5 questions and we have to answer honestly. Over text though not sure you can relay that playful vibe when you say that?
 
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