How do 90% of men out of college (say 23-30) meet someone?

[bigdave17]

Are they just getting lucky via social circle/work approaching??


Among all the men I know, an absolutely tiny percentage can cold approach a woman with any sort of success rate. Most men find cold approaching to be immensely daunting/difficult and even many who are decent socially are not good looking enough to do cold approaching.
maybe 2% are good looking enough for online dating or bars/clubs.


So how do they find somebody? I often wonder how the incel rate is not way higher than it is considering the difficulty level of dating. Most men are able to do it but how?

 

[Mike32ct]

Incel rates probably ARE much higher than people think. It’s just unreported. Most of the guys in that category don’t know about other guys in the same boat, and they haven’t heard the term incel either.

 

[bigdave17]

Incel rates probably ARE much higher than people think. It’s just unreported. Most of the guys in that category don’t know about other guys in the same boat, and they haven’t heard the term incel either.

why u say that?

 

[Solomon]

SOCIAL CIRCLE

next topic

 

[Mike32ct]

why u say that?

Just my gut feeling. We certainly agree on how brutally tough today’s dating scene can be. Incels are invisible to women (and sometimes even men in social circles). So we probably don’t have a firm handle on just how many there are.

 

[bigdave17]

SOCIAL CIRCLE

next topic

I make friends and friends and friends and friends and none of them know any hot, single, quality women in their 20s


how do others do it?

 

[Doctor Europeo]

I make friends and friends and friends and friends and none of them know any hot, single, quality women in their 20s


how do others do it?

Become a high school teacher and bang your students after they graduate. It´s a classic.

 

[zekko]

SOCIAL CIRCLE

This is true. Also, despite all the warnings not to sh!t where you eat, half of all people have dated a coworker.

 

[Spaz]

I make friends and friends and friends and friends and none of them know any hot, single, quality women in their 20s


how do others do it?

All ur friends r incels

 

[Alvafe]

I make friends and friends and friends and friends and none of them know any hot, single, quality women in their 20s


how do others do it?

first you need to go out more, i'm not that well on keeping people around so I have not many close friends, but even so there is a lot you can do, trying to friend guys to find girls will not work you will need to know woman to get to know other woman, so you need more then ONE social circle, I will mention some of I had/have, work group, gym group, college group, last work place group, high school group, and several random here and there.

the more you go out and do things more you should know, also understand tehre is no way to know if a girl is of quality till you date her for some time, hence the whole spin plates, keep things on perspective

 

[bigdave17]

first you need to go out more, i'm not that well on keeping people around so I have not many close friends, but even so there is a lot you can do, trying to friend guys to find girls will not work you will need to know woman to get to know other woman, so you need more then ONE social circle, I will mention some of I had/have, work group, gym group, college group, last work place group, high school group, and several random here and there.

the more you go out and do things more you should know, also understand tehre is no way to know if a girl is of quality till you date her for some time, hence the whole spin plates, keep things on perspective

I have a very very busy lifestyle - go out to bars, clubs, concerts, sports events, festivals, vacations all the time


I make friends everywhere I go

 

[jaymbrs]

I make friends and friends and friends and friends and none of them know any hot, single, quality women in their 20s


how do others do it?

I meet women through women. Some through coworkers, some through friends girlfriends/wives. I also date bartenders and waitresses I've met at their jobs.

 

[Mike32ct]

I’ve never had a social circle. It’s been cold approach and/or online all along.

Took ballroom dance for a while, but only made some aquaintences in their 50s and up.

All that aside, I think social circles are great for guys that can pull it off.

 

[zekko]

I have a very very busy lifestyle - go out to bars, clubs, concerts, sports events, festivals, vacations all the time

I make friends everywhere I go

Then you should be meeting plenty of women.

 

[bigdave17]

Then you should be meeting plenty of women.

I mostly hang out with friends

Approaching random women is very hard, especially considering that I'm only attracted to like 3% of women i see

 

[bigdave17]

I’ve never had a social circle. It’s been cold approach and/or online all along.

Took ballroom dance for a while, but only made some aquaintences in their 50s and up.

All that aside, I think social circles are great for guys that can pull it off.

you have no friends? seriously dude?

That's horrendous. I absolutely love my friends to death. I can't imagine living without them. I've had 4 friends I've been very close with for 10 years - another couple I've known for 4 or 5

Having no friends is about as bad as being perma-single like me

 

[zekko]

I mostly hang out with friends
Approaching random women is very hard, especially considering that I'm only attracted to like 3% of women i see

As usual, your story doesn't add up. If you "make friends wherever you go", you should be meeting plenty of women. Or do you only talk to males?

 

[bigdave17]

I meet women through women. Some through coworkers, some through friends girlfriends/wives. I also date bartenders and waitresses I've met at their jobs.

bartenders and waitresses? they get hit on 50 million times a day

Are you a male model or movie star?

 

[jaymbrs]

bartenders and waitresses? they get hit on 50 million times a day

Are you a male model or movie star?

I'm not bad looking and I dress well. I've also worked in the service industry before so talking to them about it is a good way in for me. Finding that common ground helps.

 

[Mike32ct]

you have no friends? seriously dude?

That's horrendous. I absolutely love my friends to death. I can't imagine living without them. I've had 4 friends I've been very close with for 10 years - another couple I've known for 4 or 5

Having no friends is about as bad as being perma-single like me

I have one good buddy. Been friends for 15+ years. That’s it. We met through work. He’s married, so we don’t hang out a lot.

TLDR: One friend. No social “circle.”