Dumps me Monday morning, by Weds it's "I love you!" and "I miss you!!" texts all day.....

[Mr.Mac55]

Need some help on this one…..Girl vague-dumped me on Monday morning first thing, over text, by saying “I’m not good enough for you. I can’t drag you into my drama. You deserve better, etc” I asked if she was sure and she said she didn’t know. So I told her we should talk face to face and I’d be there when she was ready to talk.

I went silent for the rest of the day and the next day (Tuesday). So Tuesday she sends me one text “I miss you!!” I don’t respond. Today she sends me three or four texts, including “I miss you!” And finally at the end of the night “Ok, a big no to that I guess. Cool ok I won’t bother you again. I’m sorry. I still love you.”

Ouch, man. I’m literally on Day 2 of no contact, 3 if you count Monday. No way the No Contact works that fast, yet for the 9 months we were together the girl was head over heels in love. Telling me she loved me constantly, kissing me all over. I loved her back. Right up until the breakup. We were planning a trip to Florida together in October. I stay at her place for a few nights every couple weeks. I'm 42, she's 31.

I just need to know what to do. Keep up the No Contact, or send her a message and ask “WTF, did we break up or not??”” Because part of me can't tell if we really did. Thoughts?

 

[R.U.G.]

Depends. If that was me, and she said I miss you, then I would of waited a bit (five hours or so) and said I see. What are you going to do to make it up to me? She comes over, you have marathon sex in every hole, and then you decide if you want to keep her or not. Personally, it was a sh!t test and she'd do it again. I would had fvcked her, then dumped her the next day. No one has time for this sh!t.

She may reach out again. If she does, and you want to fvck her again, try my method. It does work. Or, if you're too pissed at her, just block the b!tch and move on. I will say, I never burn bridges. Women I've dated in the past have reached out to me, and let's just say things happen.

 

[Mr.Mac55]

Thanks for the response. I kind of just want clarification from her....does she want to be with me or not? Did she really dump me or not? Because I honestly can't tell. She almost acting like Monday never happened. Maybe I should break my silence and just ask her? We were seriously in love but I've been having conflicting emotion since Monday so I just don't really know what to do....other than give it one more chance....?

 

[RangerMIke]

Need some help on this one…..Girl vague-dumped me on Monday morning first thing, over text, by saying “I’m not good enough for you. I can’t drag you into my drama. You deserve better, etc” I asked if she was sure and she said she didn’t know. So I told her we should talk face to face and I’d be there when she was ready to talk.

I went silent for the rest of the day and the next day (Tuesday). So Tuesday she sends me one text “I miss you!!” I don’t respond. Today she sends me three or four texts, including “I miss you!” And finally at the end of the night “Ok, a big no to that I guess. Cool ok I won’t bother you again. I’m sorry. I still love you.”

Ouch, man. I’m literally on Day 2 of no contact, 3 if you count Monday. No way the No Contact works that fast, yet for the 9 months we were together the girl was head over heels in love. Telling me she loved me constantly, kissing me all over. I loved her back. Right up until the breakup. We were planning a trip to Florida together in October. I stay at her place for a few nights every couple weeks. I'm 42, she's 31.

I just need to know what to do. Keep up the No Contact, or send her a message and ask “WTF, did we break up or not??”” Because part of me can't tell if we really did. Thoughts?

If she reaches out to you, and you want something to happen... see the poor girl. When she say's "I love you, I miss you." Just tell her to come over and prove it. Then the ball is back in her court... then see what happens.

 

[R.U.G.]

Thanks for the response. I kind of just want clarification from her....does she want to be with me or not? Did she really dump me or not? Because I honestly can't tell. She almost acting like Monday never happened. Maybe I should break my silence and just ask her? We were seriously in love but I've been having conflicting emotion since Monday so I just don't really know what to do....other than give it one more chance....?

A woman's mind changes like the wind. Years ago, I met a woman that I thought may be a keeper. She even said to others in front of me, I finally found the woman. She then said, three times a charm. She later clarified, she had two other relationships with men, and I was her third. I thought, bullsh!t, but whatever. This was 3 months in. I then found out she was on 3 different meds for anxiety and depression. Not a week later, she disappeared.

@Mr.Mac55, most modern women are batsh!t crazy. It's just how it is. Over time, you will experience this over and over again. It will have less and less of an impact on you as you will get used to it. The first few times it can hurt a bit, but it does lessen as your experience expands with the new version of the 21st century modern woman.

 

[Mr.Mac55]

If she reaches out to you, and you want something to happen... see the poor girl. When she say's "I love you, I miss you." Just tell her to come over and prove it. Then the ball is back in her court... then see what happens.

Yeah, man good call. I just texted her and basically told her "I can't tell if we actually broke up or not so enough of the bull****, let's meet up and talk it over like adults." Then made a dig about how it gives her an excuse to see me again.

If she says no to a meeting then I know it's definitely over and goodbye forever. If we meet and it comes out she has another guy it's goodbye forever. If we meet and she says I made a big mistake, please take me back cry cry cry then we'll know No Contact works and I then I have a decision to make.

 

[Mr.Mac55]

A woman's mind changes like the wind. Years ago, I met a woman that I thought may be a keeper. She even said to others in front of me, I finally found the woman. She then said, three times a charm. She later clarified, she had two other relationships with men, and I was her third. I thought, bullsh!t, but whatever. This was 3 months in. I then found out she was on 3 different meds for anxiety and depression. Not a week later, she disappeared.

@Mr.Mac55, most modern women are batsh!t crazy. It's just how it is. Over time, you will experience this over and over again. It will have less and less of an impact on you as you will get used to it. The first few times it can hurt a bit, but it does lessen as your experience expands with the new version of the 21st century modern woman.

Thanks man. These are good responses. Really helping me get my plan together. I feel good about it now. I know it will never be the same with her but if I can get her to side chick status I'd be pretty satisfied. It really is the best sex I've ever had (and I'm 42 and have been around the block a few times....) Thanks guys, I'll let you know how it goes tomorrow! I'm sure there will be more drama!

 

[R.U.G.]

Yeah, man good call. I just texted her and basically told her "I can't tell if we actually broke up or not so enough of the bull****, let's meet up and talk it over like adults." Then made a dig about how it gives her an excuse to see me again.

If she says no to a meeting then I know it's definitely over and goodbye forever. If we meet and it comes out she has another guy it's goodbye forever. If we meet and she says I made a big mistake, please take me back cry cry cry then we'll know No Contact works and I then I have a decision to make.

Shouldn't of done that. She was looking for an emotional response to feed her ego and she got it. You showed your hand. Your hand is/was that you cared about her.

When this happens, you should do one of two things. One, no contact and never reach out again. Or two, wait five hours to a day and then say what are you going to do to make this up to me? Then proceed to go to her place or have her come to your place and have sex.

 

[Mr.Mac55]

I like that plan but no one is having sex tonight. She goes to sleep early and is already in bed and lives an hour away. And all this happened over a 12 hour period today so there were plenty of gaps in my responses. And if I showed my hand I really don't give a ****. This whole thing just needs to go somewhere or end so I figure show her a card and get a resolution.

 

[stovepipe]

Three words-No Contact Forever

Otherwise you'll be back here posting wishing you did.

 

[R.U.G.]

I like that plan but no one is having sex tonight. She goes to sleep early and is already in bed and lives an hour away. And all this happened over a 12 hour period today so there were plenty of gaps in my responses. And if I showed my hand I really don't give a ****. This whole thing just needs to go somewhere or end so I figure show her a card and get a resolution.

Show her the door or your penis. That's it. You're trying to beat your chest and make you feel better by telling her what you want her to hear. Women do not care. We've all experienced this on the board. It's best to rip off the band-aid and just move on unless she does what I suggest. Trust when I say she loved hearing from you. That showed you still care. The one who cares the least in the relationship has the power. Next time, when a woman says we should break up. Say, ok, not a problem. Later. See ya, etc. Give them no satisfaction. Remember, women are emotional beings. This means, mostly everything they do is an emotional response.

 

[Billtx49]

Typical. If all she can do is send conflicting messages to the point that you don’t know whats up with her, ghost her until, and if, she gets her act together enough to be clear with you…
It’s likely a breakup and she lacks the fortitude or certainty to tell you directly, but life’s too short to let a girl scramble your brain…

 

[sosousage]

yea ive dated girls aged 30 hoping they will be more mature than 20s

guess what, not

 

[Mr.Mac55]

Typical. If all she can do is send conflicting messages to the point that you don’t know whats up with her, ghost her until, and if, she gets her act together enough to be clear with you…
It’s likely a breakup and she lacks the fortitude or certainty to tell you directly, but life’s too short to let a girl scramble your brain…

This. This right here exactly. Quit with the mixed messages and say it to me straight up, or keep quiet.

 

[soulforge]

Girl dumps you, then states she misses you, does not mean she WANTS YOU BACK

Once you have reacted and showed her your hand, she will go back to, sorry I don't think we are right for each other..

Its all about validation and ego for her now.

Do you want to remain with a woman who quite possibly will dump you again, completely out of the blue?

What you have here now, is fukin long term LIABILITY

 

[Mr.Mac55]

Yep. Totally agree with you soulforge.

Expecting her to play the "let's still be friends" card any minute now.

 

[marmel75]

Yep. Totally agree with you soulforge.

Expecting her to play the "let's still be friends" card any minute now.

If you wanted to keep banging her you should have sent the message @R.U.G. recommended...

 

[Mr.Mac55]

Deep down I know this relationship won’t work and it really does need to end. The way she “broke up” really was the best way to end things.

There’s no going back to the way things were. I just need a clean break. No BS.

 

[stovepipe]

Deep down I know this relationship won’t work and it really does need to end. The way she “broke up” really was the best way to end things.

There’s no going back to the way things were. I just need a clean break. No BS.

Your intuition and mind are working together telling you what you need to do. That's the right mindset you need to stick with no matter what. Look at it as if she did you a favor by dumping you.

 

[wifehunter]

she's crazy....crazy drives you crazy