Told my ex to move on. I keep looking at her insta story...

[chris2for]

I loved my ex very much and wanted to marry her. Stuff happened and we broke up. Well she broke up with me. She came back 6 months later. I was really torn. We discussed things for almost 2 months and in one of our discussions about us she said something that really pissed me off to the point that it made me change my mind about us. I called her later that same day and told her she needed to move on. That was about a month ago.

So is it weird that I've been looking at her insta story almost every time starting a few days after telling her to move on? I’ve been looking at almost every insta story she has posted since I told her to her to move on a month ago.

For those who don’t know, if you view someone’s story it tells you who has viewed it-so she knows when I look. She posted something at 1 am last night and I checked it. I stopped looking then went back and looked at the rest of her story.

Is it weird? I'm hoping that she sees that by me looking I'm indifferent about her/things with us. I think by avoiding it, it seems like I'm upset. Does that make sense?

 

[TBG]

I'm hoping that she sees that by me looking I'm indifferent about her/things with us

If you were really indifferent you wouldn't care whether or not she noticed that you looked at her story.

If you really didn't care you wouldn't look at all.

 

[chris2for]

If you were really indifferent you wouldn't care whether or not she noticed that you looked at her story.

If you really didn't care you wouldn't look at all.

Sure, I care about her as a person. I don't think looking at her posts frequently means that I'm still romantically interested in her though.

 

[Glassguy]

When you break up, you need to wait a couple of days and just remove them from your social media platforms. You dont want to see her update of a pic of her and another dude out having a good time and vice versa.

Moving on means moving on bro. Dont torment yourself by constantly checking her shyte out and wondering what she is doing.

 

[RedScorpion]

She’s not going to think you’re indifferent if you’re constantly looking at her Instagram. She’s going to think that you must be thinking of her constantly. Every single time that you look and she notices your view, she’s going to add that to the tally in her mind of how many times you’ve done it, and how frequently. Each time is a clear indicator of you wanting to check up on what she’s doing.

Even if you’re pretending you’re not romantically interested in her any further, it shows that she is on your mind and in your field of attention. To a woman, that’s pretty much showing that you’re not focused on someone else right now. If you were engaged and enamoured by another girl (both key things here) - your ex would be a distant thought. A mere after thought. Think of how often you check up on other ex’s from the past.

If you want to pretend you’re indifferent, stop advertising that you’re paying attention at all to her. Pretend she’s not part of your world at all, unless she directly contacts you. Then you can be cheerful/pleasant, not concerned about the relationship. Wish her the best.

Not knowing what she’s up to will help you move on as well.

 

[chris2for]

She’s not going to think you’re indifferent if you’re constantly looking at her Instagram. She’s going to think that you must be thinking of her constantly. Every single time that you look and she notices your view, she’s going to add that to the tally in her mind of how many times you’ve done it, and how frequently. Each time is a clear indicator of you wanting to check up on what she’s doing.

Even if you’re pretending you’re not romantically interested in her any further, it shows that she is on your mind and in your field of attention. To a woman, that’s pretty much showing that you’re not focused on someone else right now. If you were engaged and enamoured by another girl (both key things here) - your ex would be a distant thought.

If you want to pretend you’re indifferent, stop advertising that you’re paying attention at all to her at all. Pretend she’s not part of your world at all, unless she directly contacts you. Then you can be cheerful/pleasant, not concerned about the relationship. Wish her the best.

Not knowing what she’s up to will help you move on as well.

Thanks for the advice.

"Even if you’re pretending you’re not romantically interested in her any further"

So you believe that I'm pretending that I'm not romantically interested in her?

 

[soulforge]

Your not indifferent at all buddy..

When people GENUINELY want to move on, they don't feel the need to keep checking there insta story..

What she thinks doesn't matter at all, at this point..

If it is OVER for you, then remove her from all social media platforms and move the fuk on!!

Do you want to be accused of stalker type behaviour once she finds another dude!

 

[soulforge]

Thanks for the advice.

"Even if you’re pretending you’re not romantically interested in her any further"

So you believe that I'm pretending that I'm not romantically interested in her?

If you are moving on, then your concern should NOT be, what she thinks about you, if you completely stopped following her Insta..

Your MAIN concern and only concern should be, moving on..

You made a decision to end it.. So it's time to move on buddy

 

[bizzym]

If you are moving on, then your concern should NOT be, what she thinks about you, if you completely stopped following her Insta..

Your MAIN concern and only concern should be, moving on..

You made a decision to end it.. So it's time to move on buddy

But he doesn't want to move on...

At least that's what I think.

 

[Billtx49]

But he doesn't want to move on...

At least that's what I think.

He may mentally want to, but remaining emotional embers are probably driving his actions…
Best way to put those to rest is a new woman.

 

[bizzym]

He may mentally want to, but remaining emotional embers are probably driving his actions…
Best way to put those to rest is a new woman.

Eh I don't know. If he truly wanted to mentally move on he wouldn't constantly check on her. Every once and a while sure, but constantly checking means that he doesn't want to mentally move on.

 

[soulforge]

He may mentally want to, but remaining emotional embers are probably driving his actions…
Best way to put those to rest is a new woman.

A new woman yes, but that may not happen over night.. in the mean time he needs NC from her, so he can BREAK that emotional connection he had with her..

Checking her Insta daily, looking at her pics extra, will only delay the healing process.

OP is in denial in regards to this matter

 

[greatsnake]

You don't want to move on and it's ok.

The following questions are: wether you want to continue tormenting yourself? is it worth the pain? are you still holding on because you're afraid of being alone?

 

[chris2for]

A new woman yes, but that may not happen over night.. in the mean time he needs NC from her, so he can BREAK that emotional connection he had with her..

Checking her Insta daily, looking at her pics extra, will only delay the healing process.

OP is in denial in regards to this matter

How am I in denial? I still care about her but that's it.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

How am I in denial? I still care about her but that's it.

Why do you care? Does she care about you?

 

[chris2for]

Why do you care? Does she care about you?

I know she cares about me.

 

[Billtx49]

How am I in denial? I still care about her but that's it.

Caring is emotions in action. Deal with them. NC means no online stalking also.

 

[chris2for]

Caring is emotions in action. Deal with them. NC means no online stalking also.

I've admitted that I still care about her which I think is normal, but I don't care about her in a romantic way.

 

[lizardking82]

You don't care about her. Your ego cares about her because it sees her as its possession. This is a normal stage after a breakup. Live it and go through it, you will get out of this soon.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

Is it weird? I'm hoping that she sees that by me looking I'm indifferent about her/things with us. I think by avoiding it, it seems like I'm upset. Does that make sense?

She isn't going to think you are indifferent by looking at her stories - she's going to think you still care. But who cares what she thinks anyway. Stop looking. Block her, and move on. You WILL do that one day. You can choose to do it now and get on with your life, or you can suffer a while longer. If you didn't still care to some degree, you wouldn't have any desire to look, but the fact that you are looking proves that you do.